Funny stories....now

[AB]

I was bought up in an old mud brick house that dad built in the 70's. There was only one toilet which was conveniently upstairs next to Mum and Dads room...

As you can imagine we used to always just wee out the back door (which mum loved being the only female of a family of 4 killing her plants, etc).

Anyways, when I was about 6 I got up in the middle of the night and could'nt find the backdoor key so just grabbed a glass and did my business and left it on the kitchen table.

Next morning mum got up saw the cup and thought that one of the boys mustve had a drink in the middle of the night so she topped the rest up with Apple Juice and gave it to my dad for breaky.

We started to have brekky and next minute dad spits out a mouth of "Apple Juice" all over the kitchen and yells out "what the hell is this, it tastes like pi$$"....I immediatly put two and two together and ran like Forest Gump!!!!

Run Andy Run!!!

[growler2058]

I was bought up in an old mud brick house that dad built in the 70's. There was only one toilet which was conveniently upstairs next to Mum and Dads room...

As you can imagine we used to always just wee out the back door (which mum loved being the only female of a family of 4 killing her plants, etc).

Anyways, when I was about 6 I got up in the middle of the night and could'nt find the backdoor key so just grabbed a glass and did my business and left it on the kitchen table.

Next morning mum got up saw the cup and thought that one of the boys mustve had a drink in the middle of the night so she topped the rest up with Apple Juice and gave it to my dad for breaky.

We started to have brekky and next minute dad spits out a mouth of "Apple Juice" all over the kitchen and yells out "what the hell is this, it tastes like pi$$"....I immediatly put two and two together and ran like Forest Gump!!!!

Run Andy Run!!!

hahhahahahhahahahahahahahhahahahahahaha my cheeks hurt

[Bigrig]

I was bought up in an old mud brick house that dad built in the 70's. There was only one toilet which was conveniently upstairs next to Mum and Dads room...

As you can imagine we used to always just wee out the back door (which mum loved being the only female of a family of 4 killing her plants, etc).

Anyways, when I was about 6 I got up in the middle of the night and could'nt find the backdoor key so just grabbed a glass and did my business and left it on the kitchen table.

Next morning mum got up saw the cup and thought that one of the boys mustve had a drink in the middle of the night so she topped the rest up with Apple Juice and gave it to my dad for breaky.

We started to have brekky and next minute dad spits out a mouth of "Apple Juice" all over the kitchen and yells out "what the hell is this, it tastes like pi$$"....I immediatly put two and two together and ran like Forest Gump!!!!

Run Andy Run!!!

Yep. Actually laughing here!!!

[Maxhead]

I was bought up in an old mud brick house that dad built in the 70's. There was only one toilet which was conveniently upstairs next to Mum and Dads room...

As you can imagine we used to always just wee out the back door (which mum loved being the only female of a family of 4 killing her plants, etc).

Anyways, when I was about 6 I got up in the middle of the night and could'nt find the backdoor key so just grabbed a glass and did my business and left it on the kitchen table.

Next morning mum got up saw the cup and thought that one of the boys mustve had a drink in the middle of the night so she topped the rest up with Apple Juice and gave it to my dad for breaky.

We started to have brekky and next minute dad spits out a mouth of "Apple Juice" all over the kitchen and yells out "what the hell is this, it tastes like pi$$"....I immediatly put two and two together and ran like Forest Gump!!!!

Run Andy Run!!!

Hahah, that's classic. what happened, Did you get a floggin??

[Sir Roofy]

hahah, that's classic. What happened, did you get a floggin??

nah his dad couldnt catch him that day

[katwoman]

Please dont take the wrong way ladies

HAHHAHAHA. Yeah, right.. Sounds like a pamphlet my sister give me a coupla years ago called, 'how to be a better wife'.
Not sure what her point was, but needless to say we dont talk anymore, and I can see why SHE'S the one that's NOT married !!

[growler2058]

HAHHAHAHA. Yeah, right.. Sounds like a pamphlet my sister give me a coupla years ago called, 'how to be a better wife'.
Not sure what her point was, but needless to say we dont talk anymore, and I can see why SHE'S the one that's NOT married !!

AHH you dont need no phamphlet Kat the Eggs and bacon piccie you posted last saturday will suffice hahahahahahahahhahahhahaha

[Bigrig]

I think I've posted this before on another thread, but what the hey ..

When I was a younger lad, living in Brissy it gets bloody hot and humid, so one early morning after a largish time of it at the pub, I came home to mum and dad's joint and mum had made a killer potato salad (real chunky, real creamy ... the best!) and whilst rummaging through the fridge for something to eat, I found it in a big Tupperware dish. Well, I thought I was in heaven so I proceeded to kick off the shoes and jeans, unbutton the shirt, grabbed a spoon, opened the double fridge and freezer doors and nuzzled up into the fridge compartment (sitting on the floor in jocks and socks and open shirt) to keep "cool" whilst I chowed down. Suffice to say, I fell asleep. A few hours later, my parents awoke only to come into the kitchen and find me half undressed, asleep, potato salad all down my front and over the floor, and shivering my anus off as I was nearly hypothermic!!! My old boy just gave me a boot in the ribs and told me to "clean this sh!t up", but alas, mummy came to the rescue and guided me to bed (about 28 degrees by this time, and heading to a top of 35 or something!) and proceeded to put about 8 blankets, 3 sleeping bags, a couple of duna's, and what felt like a space blanket on top of me to make me warm up - well ... as we all know, alcomohol has a tendency on it's own to dry one out and dehydrate, but the fact I laid there sweating like a whore in church for the next few hours ensured that just about every drop of H2O in my body transferred to the bedsheets and mattress ... when I woke, not remembering coming home or anything thereafter, I didnt realise also that the old boy had put the (now ruined) remaining potato salad all over my face and pillow, and having a headache that would have registered on the richter scale, I just figured I must have puked tater salad all over my bed!!!! Very apologetic, I stagger out of bed to get some water (for me) and some cleaning gear off mum ... Dad was into me - "you're a disgrace, and if you think you can just come home here in the wee hours of the morning and wake everybody with your spewing then you'd better think twice about living here" ... I felt like crap anyway, and obviously wasn't in on the game ... They filled me in on the real events immediately after I had cleaned it all up!!! B@stards!!!

Moral to the story - move out of home as early as possible, and if you absolutely must stay there, then when having big nights, make sure you pull, or sleep at a mates joint so as to give your parents no further ammunition to use in getting rid of your sorry arse out of the house so they can enjoy life!!! LOL

[hekarewe]

a few years ago i was 4wding in some very hard country this was in a place called cabbage tree lane behind richmond nth, (now locked off) i was in there with a mate and his red heavally modified Rol lux and guiding him through a set of steps which were a bout 4 to 6 foot high he was going down these by stradling the rocks the gap between much deeper he was going of line and i stopped him and gave him very simple instructions to revers about a foot then reline himself and all would sweet.

to the next thing i know is this red hilux is looking huge hurtling towards me and all i could see was the roof and bonnet i thought it was going to land on my head. as the dust settled and i saw he had made it to the bottom of the steps without a mark (still trying to work that one out) he was still right side up.

"what the hell happened" i yelled replacing shit scared with anger

the reply came back "forgot where revers was and i put it in 5th and nailed it"

"how did not remember where it was?"

"i thought i was driving my work truck!"

unfortunatly this same friend had a habit of getting bogged then relising he was not in 4wd!!!

[Bigrig]

a few years ago i was 4wding in some very hard country this was in a place called cabbage tree lane behind richmond nth, (now locked off) i was in there with a mate and his red heavally modified Rol lux and guiding him through a set of steps which were a bout 4 to 6 foot high he was going down these by stradling the rocks the gap between much deeper he was going of line and i stopped him and gave him very simple instructions to revers about a foot then reline himself and all would sweet.

to the next thing i know is this red hilux is looking huge hurtling towards me and all i could see was the roof and bonnet i thought it was going to land on my head. as the dust settled and i saw he had made it to the bottom of the steps without a mark (still trying to work that one out) he was still right side up.

"what the hell happened" i yelled replacing shit scared with anger

the reply came back "forgot where revers was and i put it in 5th and nailed it"

"how did not remember where it was?"

"i thought i was driving my work truck!"

unfortunatly this same friend had a habit of getting bogged then relising he was not in 4wd!!!

Ahhhh ... when skill and finnesse are out the window in getting through something, just stick it in gear and PLANT IT!!!!! LMFAO ...