Depression

[jack]

In the last 20 years I've had three friends whose sons have committed suicide, all violently - one shot himself, one drowned himself and one hung himself.
Absolutely devastated the families, as they were all found by family members. They ranged from 17 to late 20's in age and only one left a note - which didn't really make sense.
For one there were some warning signs but so subtle they they didn't realise till after the event.

The families never recovered from it and all blame themselves in some form for not seeing it coming, if only they had come to the same realisation as your sister.
Anybody out there contemplating suicide - there is a future and help available no matter how bad it seems.

[NP99]

I read a suicide note from a young soldier some years back. He went into great detail on why he was doing it and fare welled each family member. He also apologised to his platoon sergeant for what he was about to do. It still chokes me up thinking about it.

[Cuppa]

One thing that can make a big difference to somebody who is feeling at the point of no return is to ask them if they are thinking of harming themselves. Sounds like common sense, but is not a question commonly asked, presumably because folk are scared of what the answer might be, most likely because they are worried they wont know what to say or do if the answer is yes.
From experience in my past professional life asking the question helps. Letting go of the secret is often a relief. With it out in the open, the person doing the asking can provide a lot just by being there, & ‘hanging in’ with the suicidal person. Ask questions, How long, how often have you been feeling like this? How have you planned to kill yourself. i.e.. don’t try to minimise it by saying it’s silly, or that they are wrong & that everything is really ok. Hear them by being genuinely interested, AND be prepared to stay with them if either they or you don’t feel they are safe........ even if they tell you they will be ok, YOU decide, don’t just take there word for it........ for as long as it takes. Get help to manage their safety. Friends, family, professionals. It’s a big responsibility being a mate & if you shirk it, you might live to regret it. When my best mate told me he was thinking of killing himself I cried, right there in front of him, there was him feeling worthless & me suddenly vey fearful of losing him. Looking back I like to think that my reaction played a part in helping him understand that whilst he was feeling worthless that others valued him & wanted him around.

[NP99]

Cuppa, your last sentence sums it up for a lot that consider themselves worthless. There will always be somebody that loves you. Sometimes they haven't let you know...

[PMC]

Furthermore to this, she recently did an interview for the Sydney Morning Herald, which is HUGE. she is also speaking at a Lived Suicide Experience Symposium next week at the Opera House. Pretty big stuff. check out her story below

http://www.smh.com.au/national/healt...613-zs6mr.html

G'day, rusty_nail,

What a fantastic young lady she is. I echo Apollofish's sentiments' I bet you and the family are so proud of her!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Kind regards,

Paul

[growler2058]

http://www.matesinconstruction.com.au/

[PMC]

I read a suicide note from a young soldier some years back. He went into great detail on why he was doing it and fare welled each family member. He also apologised to his platoon sergeant for what he was about to do. It still chokes me up thinking about it.

G'day Shane,

That's why you were a good Officer, you cared about your men!

Kind regards,

Paul

[PMC]

One thing that can make a big difference to somebody who is feeling at the point of no return is to ask them if they are thinking of harming themselves. Sounds like common sense, but is not a question commonly asked, presumably because folk are scared of what the answer might be, most likely because they are worried they wont know what to say or do if the answer is yes.
From experience in my past professional life asking the question helps. Letting go of the secret is often a relief. With it out in the open, the person doing the asking can provide a lot just by being there, & ‘hanging in’ with the suicidal person. Ask questions, How long, how often have you been feeling like this? How have you planned to kill yourself. i.e.. don’t try to minimise it by saying it’s silly, or that they are wrong & that everything is really ok. Hear them by being genuinely interested, AND be prepared to stay with them if either they or you don’t feel they are safe........ even if they tell you they will be ok, YOU decide, don’t just take there word for it........ for as long as it takes. Get help to manage their safety. Friends, family, professionals. It’s a big responsibility being a mate & if you shirk it, you might live to regret it. When my best mate told me he was thinking of killing himself I cried, right there in front of him, there was him feeling worthless & me suddenly vey fearful of losing him. Looking back I like to think that my reaction played a part in helping him understand that whilst he was feeling worthless that others valued him & wanted him around.

G'evening Cuppa,

That's why you are a good man mate!

Kind regards,

Paul

[Gecko17]

You nailed it cuppa... was part of my old job to ask those questions too. Funnily enough, part of the 'new' career as well.

[growler2058]

I've done the MIC (mates in construction) inducted and connector training. They ask us to say suicide. "Are you thinking about suicide", not harming, hurting, topping, necking etc. Like cuppa said asking are you thinking about suicide can be the turning point in stopping someone or have them getting help/ speak to an expert.