The Joke Thread

[Wine_maker]

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[Bundy1]

What do the eskimos getting from sitting on the ice to long????



polaroids!!!

[Bundy1]

Why are murders in Tasmania so hard to solve?



Because there are no dental records and all the DNA matches.

[Bundy1]

Want to hear a joke about the construction industry in Australia?



Too bad, they’re still working on it.

[Wayne'O']

I hope this one is ok and not too rude guys.

Man walks into a bar and asks the barman for a rum and coke.
The barman reaches behind and grabs an apple then puts it in front of him,

The man says, 'I wanted a rum and coke'
The barman said, 'just try it it's something I've been working on you'll love it'
The man takes a bite, 'wow that's the rum'
Barman, 'turn it around'
Man, 'wow there's the coke how did you do that, that's amazing'

Meanwhile a 2nd man walks in and orders a gin and tonic.
The barman reaches behind and gives him an apple.

2nd man, 'I asked for a gin and tonic'
1st man, 'hey just try it man you won't be disappointed'
2nd man takes a bite, 'that tastes like gin'
Barman, 'turn it around'
2nd man, 'there's the tonic wow that's just awesome.

A dwarf (little person) walks into the bar the barman asks what he wants and he's not too sure yet when both men start saying you have to try his apples he can make them taste like anything. He thinks for a minute and says

Little man, 'do you have an apple that tastes like pussy'
Barman, 'do I ever' reaches behind and hands him an apple. The little man grabs it and takes a big bite then spits it everywhere and says

Little man, 'that tastes like shit'
Barman, 'turn it around'

[mudnut]

I got banned from a Flat Earth facebook page because I asked if the Covid 19 pandemic had pushed anyone over the edge yet?

[Plasnart]

An English cat named One Two Three Cat and a French cat named Un Deux Trois Cat were walking through a forest and came across a river.
To have a little fun, they decided to have a race across.
One Two Three Cat swam across, and when he finished the race, he looked behind him.
Un Deux Trois Cat was nowhere to be seen.
So One Two Three Cat figured that Un Deux Trois Cat sank.

[PeeBee]

An English cat named One Two Three Cat and a French cat named Un Deux Trois Cat were walking through a forest and came across a river.
To have a little fun, they decided to have a race across.
One Two Three Cat swam across, and when he finished the race, he looked behind him.
Un Deux Trois Cat was nowhere to be seen.
So One Two Three Cat figured that Un Deux Trois Cat sank.

OK, I will ask, what is the joke, I don't get it? Like a trilogy from @MB - doing my head in.

[rusty_nail]

OK, I will ask, what is the joke, I don't get it? Like a trilogy from @MB - doing my head in.

Sank is six cat is five in French. It's an awesomely terrible dad joke

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[Plasnart]

OK, I will ask, what is the joke, I don't get it? Like a trilogy from @MB - doing my head in.

Sank is six cat is five in French. It's an awesomely terrible dad joke

Sent from my SM-G965F using Tapatalk

Yeah sorry about that. It was so bad it made me laugh. Except sank is 5 and cat is 4. 1 2 3 4 5.