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Diagnosis is in - Crankshaft is cooked! Got the car towed to my mate's shed where it'll rest up for the next month or two while things get sorted.
Looks like the keyway's been munched hard into the crankshaft. Engine will come out. Weld and machine the crankshaft.
I'll probably do some preventative maintanance mods while it's out and accessible - dowel the keyway & redirect the coolant outlook to the back of the head to prevent cracking. Plus get all the gauge senders lined up so it's plug-n-play when it goes back in.
Other mods kicked off on the side, grabbed a roofrack off gumtree and began installing the sun. Twin totally legit ARB lightbars, 6 side lights, 2 reverse/rear lights. Had to get creative mounting the lightbars under the roof rack - drilled through the casing and stuck a nylock nut down the cooling fins, then spaced them away from the rack with some bunnings aluminium RHS with rubber strips to dampen vibration.
Last edited by adman; 13th March 2019 at 01:17 PM.