Reading the second half of your post I don't think changing your hours is going to help one iota dude
Less money or longer hours to make the same money will only make the relationship pressures worse
But anyway...
I and the fam used to use rotating shifts to our advantage.
Plans were always made around 'days off' so no last minute 'gotta work back' or 'need you to come in' problems
Takes a bit of self discipline at times but I found that always doing the jobs that the missus wanted done on 'days off' menat happy wife and happy life