Heard a yarn years ago about apprentice pisstakes.
An apprentice was sent to such and such store to get a left handed hammer, a can of spotted paint and a long wait.
The bloke in the store said it might take a little time to put his order togeather.
The apprentice replied he will go to the pub next door, give him a yell when its all ready to go.
The boss wondering where the apprentice was rang the store asking if he was still there.
Outcome was a slightly pissed apprentice, a pissed off boss and no more jokes.