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Mate, tow in 5th when you can. Our 3.0lt Patrol Manual pulls our van of 2100kg. so with your 4.5lt with 1800kg, I don't know what the problem is..
If you are "in tune" with your vehicle and know its ability, then you will know when to change down.
In ours, once I hit 2000rpm, I change back to 4th, the car will tell you.. Without the van,our baby runs well in 4th up to around 95-100kph, then up to 5th it goes.