Thought for the day

[Bob]

“Happiness is when what you think,
what you say, and what you do are in harmony.”

~ Mahatma Gandhi
(1869-1948)

[nowoolies]

An ode to the English Plural



We'll begin with a box, and the plural is boxes,
But the plural of ox becomes oxen, not oxes.
One fowl is a goose, but two are called geese,
Yet the plural of moose should never be meese.
You may find a lone mouse or a nest full of mice,
Yet the plural of house is houses, not hice.

If the plural of man is always called men,
Why shouldn't the plural of pan be called pen?

If I speak of my foot and show you my feet,
And I give you a boot, would a pair be called beet?
If one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth,
Why shouldn't the plural of booth be called beeth?

Then one may be that, and there would be those,
Yet hat in the plural would never be hose,
And the plural of cat is cats, not cose.
We speak of a brother and also of brethren,
But though we say mother, we never say methren.
Then the masculine pronouns are he, his and him,
But imagine the feminine: she, shis and shim!

Let's face it - English is a crazy language. There is no egg in
eggplant nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple.
English muffins weren't invented in England. We take English for
granted, but if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can
work slowly, boxing rings are square, and a guinea pig is neither from
Guinea nor is it a pig.

And why is it that writers write, but fingers don't fing, grocers
don't groce and hammers don't ham?
Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend?
If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of
them, what do you call it?

If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught?
If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?
Sometimes I think all the folks who grew up speaking English
should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane.

In what other language do people recite at a play and play at a recital?
We ship by truck but send cargo by ship...
We have noses that run and feet that smell.
We park in a driveway and drive in a parkway.
And how can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same,
while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language
in which your house can burn up as it burns down,
in which you fill in a form by filling it out, and
in which an alarm goes off by going on.

And in closing, if Father is Pop, how come Mother's not Mop?



Someone said: the English language was born when a drunk fellow was talking and the other (also drunk, of course) did write it down...

[Bob]

“If you do not tell the truth about yourself
you cannot tell it about other people.”

~ Virginia Woolf
(1882-1941)

[nowoolies]

HOW SO TRUE

WORRY
Is there an imaginary cutoff period when
offspring become accountable
for their own actions?
Is there some wonderful moment when
parents can become detached spectators in
the lives of their children and shrug,
'It's Their life,' and feel nothing?

When I was in my twenties,
I stood in a hospital corridor
waiting for doctors to put a few stitches
in my daughter's head and I asked,
'When do you stop worrying?'
The nurse said,
'When they get out of the accident stage..'
My Parents just smiled faintly
and said nothing.

When I was in my thirties,
I sat on a little chair in a classroom
and heard how one of my children
talked incessantly, disrupted the class,
and was headed for a career
making license plates.
As if to read my mind, a teacher said,
'Don't worry, they all go through this stage
and then you can sit back,
relax and enjoy them.'
My Parents just smiled faintly
and said nothing.

When I was in my forties,
I spent a lifetime waiting
for the phone to ring,
the cars to come home,
the front door to open.
A friend said,
'They're trying to find themselves.
'Don't worry!
In a few years, they'll be adults.
'They'll be off on their own
they'll be out of your hair'
My Parents just smiled faintly
And said nothing.

By the time I was 50,
I was sick & tired of being vulnerable.
I was still worrying over my children,
but there was a new wrinkle..
Even though they were on their own
I continued to anguish over their failures,
be tormented by their frustrations and
absorbed in their disappointments..
and there was nothing I could do about it.
My Parents just smiled faintly
and said nothing.

My friends said that
when my kids got married
I could stop worrying
and lead my own life.
I wanted to believe that,
but I was haunted by my parent's warm smiles
and their occasional,
'You look pale. Are you all right' ?
'Call me the minute you get home'.
Are you depressed about something?'

My friends said that
when I became a grandparent
that I would get to enjoy
the happy little voices yelling
Grandma! Papa!
But now I find that I worry
just as much about the little kids
as the big ones.
How can anyone cope
with all this Worry?

Can it be that parents are sentenced
to a lifetime of worry?
Is concern for one another
handed down like a torch
to blaze the trail of human frailties
and the fears of the unknown?
Is concern a curse or is it
a virtue that elevates us
to the highest form of earthly creation?

Recently, one of my own children
became quite irritable, saying to me,
'Where were you?
I've been calling for 3 days,
and no one answered
I was worried.'
I smiled a warm smile.
The torch has been passed.

PASS IT ON TO OTHER WONDERFUL PARENTS
(And also to your children... That's the fun part)

[patch697]

That is just BRILLIANT........... Thanks Paul

[snicko]

awa.......nowooles..........sob.......... you made me cry.

I can see so much of myself there, where my kids are involved. Sob....sniffle....blow nose....

[timbar]

YEP .................................................. ..........................Thanks Paul Know that feeling !!

I call that....... Mission Acomplished hahahahahah .................................Pay Backs a Bit@h

Thanks Mate

[snicko]

Knowledge is power, and power corrupts. So study hard and be evil!!

[Bob]

“Man is the religious animal.
He is the only religious animal.
He is the only animal that has the ‘True Religion’
several of them.
He is the only animal
that loves his neighbor as himself
and cuts his throat, if his theology isn’t straight.
He has made a graveyard of the globe
in trying his honest best to smooth his brother’s path
to happiness and heaven.”

~ Mark Twain
(1835-1910)

[nowoolies]

“Man is the religious animal.
He is the only religious animal.
He is the only animal that has the ‘True Religion’
several of them.
He is the only animal
that loves his neighbor as himself
and cuts his throat, if his theology isn’t straight.
He has made a graveyard of the globe
in trying his honest best to smooth his brother’s path
to happiness and heaven.”

~ Mark Twain
(1835-1910)

that a good one Bob so flamming true