Classic line from Benny Hill's Ernie "Would you like it pasteurised 'cause pasteurised is best, she said Ernie I'd be happy if it comes up to me chest".
Classic line from Benny Hill's Ernie "Would you like it pasteurised 'cause pasteurised is best, she said Ernie I'd be happy if it comes up to me chest".
Billy stops Paddy in Dublin and asks for the quickest way to Cork.
Paddy says: "Are you on foot or in the car?"
Billy replies: "In the car." "Well that's the quickest way," says Paddy
I'm not rude. I just hate bullshitters
Nissan Patrol 3.0 CRD 2" lift
33" mud terrain tyres
Roof rack and custom snorkel
Bidja (14th October 2018), Bush Ranger (28th October 2017), GQtdauto (27th October 2017), Plasnart (27th October 2017)
But I wouldn't be starting from here.Originally Posted by PatrolLord
GQtdauto (28th October 2017)
Descartes walks into a bar. The bartender says, “Are you having a beer?”
Descartes says, “I think not”, and ceases to exist.
2005 GU IV ST 3.0. Snorkel. Roof rack. Awning. Spots. Welded I/C. Dual batteries & VSR. UHF. Barn door hinge extension. Roof top spot lights. Rear drawers. 2" lift. NADS. EGT and boost gauges. Trans temp and water temp gauges. Provent 200 catch can. Rear ladder
And crawling on the planet's face, some insects called the human race. Lost in time. And lost in space... and meaning.
In the great days of the British Empire, a new commanding officer was sent to a South African bush outpost to relieve the retiring colonel. After welcoming his replacement and showing the usual courtesies (gin and tonic, cucumber sandwiches, etc. which protocol decrees), the retiring colonel said, "You must meet my Adjutant, Captain Smithers, he's my right-hand man and is really the strength of this office. His talent is simply boundless.”
Smithers was summoned and introduced to the new CO, who was surprised to meet a hunchback, one eyed, toothless, hairless, scabbed and pockmarked specimen of humanity, a particularly unattractive man less than three feet tall. "Smithers, old man, tell your new CO about yourself."
"Well, sir, I played cricket for England, graduated with honours from Sandhurst, won the Military Cross and Bar after three expeditions behind enemy lines.
I have researched the history of . . . "...... At that point, the colonel interrupted.
"Yes, yes, never mind all that, Smithers, he can find all that in your file."
"Tell him about the day you told the witch doctor to fu@k off."
Cheers
Jack
2024 Isuzu MUX
Formerly 2012 Simpson 50th Anniversary Edition.
WARNING: Towballs used for recoveries can, and do kill people and damage property.
Had to visit a psychiatrist as part of medical examination for a job I had applied for.
After many questions about my life, family and current job, he asked if I thought I had an superpowers.
I replied yes, raised my left my hand and wiggled my fingers.
After a minute or so he asked what my superpower was.
Laughing, I told him it was to get psychiatrists to look at my left hand for a freakishly long time.
Didn't get the job, though.
My advice is: not to follow my advice.
My son actually did that to a psych
More from him...
What do you call a sinking sheep ship?
A ewe boat.
Do you think that glass coffins will become fashionable?
.
Remains to be seen.
My advice is: not to follow my advice.
GQtdauto (13th October 2018)
.gif "GQtdauto's Avatar")
Did you pinch that joke book from Clunk?My son actually did that to a psych
More from him...
What do you call a sinking sheep ship?
A ewe boat.
Do you think that glass coffins will become fashionable?
.
Remains to be seen.
The difference between flying pigs and politicians?
The f.
My advice is: not to follow my advice.
...........
Bob (30th November 2018), GQtdauto (7th March 2019), MB (30th November 2018), mudnut (7th March 2019), PeeBee (30th November 2018), Rossco (30th November 2018), TPC (30th November 2018), VK2FMIA (30th November 2018), Wine_maker (30th November 2018), Yeti's Beast (26th January 2019)
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