Random joke and interesting pics

[Clunk]

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[VK2FMIA]

Never seen a Nissan Patrol ambulance before. Looks like an interesting character.

From my cousins FB post. "Interesting chat this morning with roadworker Mark visiting the Bush Capital all the way from Cairns in his unique mobile work-of-art vehicle, kitchen, bedroom, museum, workshop, dog accommodation and art gallery".

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[Clunk]

I left a trail of rose petals from the front door, up the stairs, and to the bedroom. I sprinkled some more over the bed. I sat in the corner wearing nothing but her beautiful silk robe with a bottle of vintage wine on ice on the end table. I heard the door open and her walking up the stairs, I wanted this to be the most romantic evening ever. I was quite nervous.
Now all I needed was the perfect way to introduce myself.

[Clunk]

"This is all your fault!" My wife moaned this morning.
"Bloody hell, what have I done now?" I asked her.
"Give me a chance to think," she said, "I've only just woke up."

[Clunk]

My local drug dealer started dressing up as a Jehovah’s Witness so he wouldn’t arouse suspicion!
He got arrested after the police saw people actually letting him in.

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[Clunk]

9 things I hate about everyone
1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time.... I know where my watch is pal, where the hell is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is?
2. People who are willing to get off their ass to search the entire room for the T.V. remote because they refuse to walk to the T.V. and change the channel manually.
3. When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too". Damn right! What good is cake if you can't eat it?
4. When people say "it's always the last place you look". Of course it is. Why the hell would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they? Gonna Kick their asses!
5. When people say while watching a film "did you see that?". No Loser, I paid $10 to come to the cinema and stare at the damn floor you daft twat.
6. People who ask "Can I ask you a question?".... Didn't really give me a choice there, did ya sunshine?
7. When something is 'new and improved!' Which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it, couldn't be new.
8. When people say "life is short". What the hell?? Life is the longest damn thing anyone ever does!! What can you do that's longer?
9. When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks "Has the bus come yet?". If the bus came would I be standing here you tosser.

[Clunk]

I attended a speech at a local wheelchair convention about benefit cheats.
When the guy finished I gave him a standing ovation.
Then the bastard reported me for benefit fraud!

[Clunk]

I went into a Chinese takeaway last night. The owner of the shop said, "What do you do for a riving?"
I said, "What do I do for a living? I'm a bit of a comedian."
So the Chinese chap says, "Go on then, change colour."
I said, "No! I'm not a chameleon, I'm a comedian."
So then he says, "Tell me a joke, make me raff."
I said, "You want me to tell you a joke and make you laugh?"
Just then his wok caught fire, so I said, "Wok! Wok!"
And he said, "Who der?"

[Avo]

thougght this was funny and intersetiong...amd maybe a jole