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I went to the doctor the other day and he asked what brought me here to day, I said my legs. But seriously I told him I thought I had a cricket ball up my bum, he says `howzat`. Don`t you start I said.
Some bloke walked up to the counter today and said, "Burger and Fries please." "Certainly sir," I replied. "Are you eating in or taking out?" "Feck off you prick," he snapped before walking off with his food. I fecking love working in the prison canteen.