The Joke Thread

[Spock]

I was lying on the sofa watching TV when I heard my first wife's voice from the kitchen :


"What would you like for dinner sweetie....chicken, beef or lamb ?"


I said, "Thank you ; I'll have chicken."

She said "Get f#@ed, you're having soup. I was talking to the cat."

That's when I knew my marriage was in deep sh!t...