Sorry mate, but I don't have an answer. However I do have an old mate who has suffered with major physical problems which seemed insurmountable, & destined only to deteriorate according to the medicos. He has been through a tunnel of darkness that was years long but has come out the other side when no-one, least of all himself, considered this possible. He now has a happy & satisfying life ........ sometimes what seems impossible isn't, so don't give up hope no matter how hopeless things may seem now.
Cuppa