Holy Cow !!!
Just saw this in the paper this morning...
Hospitals around Australia were deluged with admissions yesterday after incredibly cruel April Fool prank backfired.
Hardest hit were regional areas of Victoria and South Australia where Emergency Rooms and Ambulance Services said the shortage of valium has reached such critical levels the RAAF has been carrying out around the clock operations airdropping supplies to rural medical centres.
Thankfully no fatalities have been reported however Authorities are thought to be extremely concerned about the potential flow on effects on Queensland when the prank arrives there in 10 to 15 years time.
A Qld health spokesman stated that if that occurred at the same time as the introduction of Daylight Saving it would have a impact greater than the introduction of Cane Toads.
Chemists and Supermarkets have also completely sold out of Tissues in most areas.
Armed Police have been mobilised after reports of looters targeting warehouses of Johnson & Johnson, Kleenex and in an as yet unexplained link to the prank, MAF cleaner.
One organised gang modus operandi is to use early model factory GU Patrols and are proving difficult to identify and apprehend as when approached by Police they escape on foot behind an impenetrable wall of noxious white smoke leaving only the abandonded disabled vehicles behind.
Addressing the nation from Canberra, Prime Minister Turnbull has declared the crisis of national magnitude and limited sales of alcohol, anti-depressants, and group hugs to only those people in possession of Nissan Patrol registration papers.
A move touted by the opposition as discriminatory to Cruiser owners who historically account for 95% of the consumtion of those products.
Legal Class Action is being mounted on behalf of all affected parties by renowned law firm Flaccid, Peepee & Piles.
Managing partners of FP&P, remain bouyed after the success of a suit against Muzz Buzz when a Prado Driver won an 8 figure settlement after extreme discomfort to the lips from sipping a hot latte.
FP&P are contemplating of one of Australias highest ever compensation payouts when proceeds of the liquidated assets sale from NissanPatrol of some 9 Spare Wheel bags, a Pentium 2 PC running Win97 and 1 Roof Top Bag prototype are completed.
Principles of Nissanpatrol are not commenting other than to say they are devasted by the siezure and sale of the intellectual property and R&D behind the Roof Top Bag which has been their total focus of some 5 years to date and consumed in excess of $250 of investor funding.
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