PMC hospital up-date!
Farkkkk, it has been one eventful day again for me to say the least. lol
Firstly, the operation lasted 2 hours; unfortunately, I gave everybody a bloody scare. I failed to properly come out of the general aesthetic; apparently it took the hospital staff in the recovery room 3 hours to get me back into the land of the living. I had lapsed into a temporary coma.
Secondly, my family were devastated when they were informed that I might not recover at all. The Coffs Harbour RSL sent a padre to help support my wife. My mum was devastated.
Farkk, personally I do not know what all the bloody fuss was about, I cannot remember a bloody thing!
Thirdly, later this evening both the Surgeon and Anesthetise informed my wife and I that I cannot go under another general aesthetic for at least another 12 months, because there is a real possibility that I might never recover, in other words (I could pop my farken clogs, end up at the promise land or down stairs cleaning the dishes.) lol
Apparently the more times you have a general aesthetic, your chances of bloody survival decrease. So far this little black duck has had 21 operations in the last 3 years. I now have been given a formal written letter by the hospital stating that I have fallen into a very high risk category of not recovering at all from another operation, if I was to have another one this year.
Well Farkk me swinging Trendsetters, I cannot win a bloody trick when I received that news.
Then the farken drama started again folks, (why me o’lord) after the op I had difficulty urinating again, Yes the usual suspect the bloody morphine had hindered me taking a piss again.
You won’t believe my farken luck folks, out of all the pissing nurses to get the job of inserting the bloody catheter into the eye of the WANG, yep you guessed it. IT WAS FARKEN BUTCH the dreaded Arnold Schwarzenegger looking lesbian nurse with a moustache.
As previously stated once before, I am not saying that she is an ugly lass, but it would not surprise me if that both Butch and BloodyAussie worked in the same area at the Arnott’s biscuit factory years ago where the pair of them had their faces slammed into the dough to make farken Gorilla biscuit’s. lol
Folks, there has to be an international law preventing the WANG from being violated (Violently) by a brutish looking lesbian nurses. Lol,
I literally shite myself when she turned up. Her first words to me was “you again” I replied in a mouse like squeakily voice “yes” followed by a quick gulp!
With a look of sheer ecstasy on her face, she then said, “well you know the drill soldier boy”
Suddenly with-out warning she grabs or should I say, jungle gripped the poor ole WANG, nearly strangling the poor farker to death. Armed and ready, Butch proceeded with delight by slamming into the “EYE OF THE WANG” the 2 foot nylon catheter, I swear the bitch took to the catheter with a farken rasping file before she brought into my room. (Roughing up the edges)
I let out the traditional farkken Geeee susssssssssssssssssessss, type scream. “There” she said, “all done”.
Folks, all I wanted to do was to tell her to farkk-off, however, common sense prevailed me to bite my bloody tongue! The last thing I wanted was Butch to launch an early morning rear end type assault/attack, armed with a needle and the fantastic plastic (the dreaded strap-on!)
I am currently sleeping with one eye closed in combat mode! lol
PS, Farkk, do any of our members sell Lucky-Charms? I need one ASAP!
Kind regards
PMC
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