Random joke and interesting pics

[Wine_maker]

That's briliant GQtdauto!
Where did you find our local news report?
Actually, it's a vocal warm-up and not a routine Kazakh language. But its best! :smileyvault-cute-bi

[GQtdauto]

That's briliant GQtdauto!
Where did you find our local news report?
Actually, it's a vocal warm-up and not a routine Kazakh language. But its best! :smileyvault-cute-bi

Someone posted it to YouTube asking if it sounded like a cold Diesel engine being started which it does sort of , good to know he is just testing the vocals winemaker .

[Hodge]

Hey Winemaker does this sound like a diesel motor being started in the cold ?

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=DfIc5CX7mF4Lmfao ...
I just spent last 10 minutes trying to take a breath after laughing at this ...
My wife thought I was gonna die .
One of the funniest memes I've seen forever . Hahahahaha

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[GQtdauto]

Was going to buy one of these but realised I already had one .

https://www.ebay.com.au/i/253202856927?ul_ref=https%253A%252F%252Frover.ebay .com%252Frover%252F1%252F705-240336-24755-0%252F16%253Fmpre%253Dhttps%25253A%25252F%25252Fww w.ebay.com.au%25252Fi%25252F253202856927%2526itemi d%253D253202856927%2526SCL_cname%253Dfb-eg%2526tracking%253D23843116525410703%2526SCL_ADGR OUP_ID%253D23843116525410703%2526SCL_PLATFORM%253D facebook%25252Cinstagram%2526SCL_PLACEMENT%253Ddes ktopfeed%25252Cmobilefeed%25252Cinstagramstream%25 26fbclid%253DIwAR2EfvTznggTWYmv5jXLW3YrSJMdwP_SIS--ohstcIllhF7eJsH8QXcS0LQ%2526srcrot%253D705-240336-24755-0%2526rvr_id%253D1850309971237%2526rvr_ts%253Dcb48 ff121680ac84e6b2e9fdfff54b57

[TPC]

Was going to buy one of these but realised I already had one .

https://www.ebay.com.au/i/253202856927?ul_ref=https%253A%252F%252Frover.ebay .com%252Frover%252F1%252F705-240336-24755-0%252F16%253Fmpre%253Dhttps%25253A%25252F%25252Fww w.ebay.com.au%25252Fi%25252F253202856927%2526itemi d%253D253202856927%2526SCL_cname%253Dfb-eg%2526tracking%253D23843116525410703%2526SCL_ADGR OUP_ID%253D23843116525410703%2526SCL_PLATFORM%253D facebook%25252Cinstagram%2526SCL_PLACEMENT%253Ddes ktopfeed%25252Cmobilefeed%25252Cinstagramstream%25 26fbclid%253DIwAR2EfvTznggTWYmv5jXLW3YrSJMdwP_SIS--ohstcIllhF7eJsH8QXcS0LQ%2526srcrot%253D705-240336-24755-0%2526rvr_id%253D1850309971237%2526rvr_ts%253Dcb48 ff121680ac84e6b2e9fdfff54b57


Mine can hold more beer than that one.

[TPC]

.............
77890

[GQtdauto]

Queensland drivers must be shit if they have to install traffic lights at roundabouts.

77912

[MB]

https://youtu.be/_TkxDa4rKnI


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[Ghosts]

GQtdauto There`s one round about in Bunbury, that has a set of lights. Slightly larger in size as the one mentioned and it may be a new trend to see how they can spend money weirdly. I can see why they did it, as there was the odd dingle from time to time.

[GQtdauto]

GQtdauto There`s one round about in Bunbury, that has a set of lights. Slightly larger in size as the one mentioned and it may be a new trend to see how they can spend money weirdly. I can see why they did it, as there was the odd dingle from time to time.

Roundabouts simples , give way to the right , they keep the flow of traffic going and get rid of traffic lights .

[garett]

mate some one should tell the poms about that. they put multiple sets of lights on a roundabout.

[Ghosts]

Roundabouts simples , give way to the right , they keep the flow of traffic going and get rid of traffic lights .

Obviously some one out there still doesn`t understand them, or the govt wanted to spend some cash to create another job for some one.
I know there were a few accidents on that round about and that`s the reason why the lights put in, I heard. But I do agree they are simple to use.

[BillsGU]

Roundabouts simples , give way to the right , they keep the flow of traffic going and get rid of traffic lights .

In NSW you have to give way to a vehicle already on the roundabout. Even if you are on their right - you still must give way.

[10G]

Old sign from an auto parts place near home ...


77941

[Winnie]

Is the joke the price, or the picture of the finished piece?

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[Plasnart]

Is the joke the price, or the picture of the finished piece?

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The cover pic vs the product.

[taslucas]

Jamie used to say "why buy it from the shop in packets when you can whip up your own in no time at home, lovely jubbly.."
You have betrayed me James.

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[Plasnart]

Jamie used to say "why buy it from the shop in packets when you can whip up your own in no time at home, lovely jubbly.."
You have betrayed me James.

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Selling shit to the masses. At least Ronald McDonald was fictional and never pretended to be a good food crusader.

[taslucas]

Selling shit to the masses. At least Ronald McDonald was fictional and never pretended to be a good food crusader.They totally pretend to be good food crusaders

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[Clunk]

mate some one should tell the poms about that. they put multiple sets of lights on a roundabout.Haven't lived there in 16 years so things may we'll have changed but initially lights were put in place and only in use during peak rush hour times and were not used at any other times.

Have you played on this one yet?
https://youtu.be/6OGvj7GZSIo

[Ghosts]

Plasnart I was looking at a couple of packets of the said product in Woolies, that were marked down in price and thought the same of picture and actual product. At least they can do, is to show some respect for the chook that died and match it to the picture.

[Plasnart]

Plasnart I was looking at a couple of packets of the said product in Woolies, that were marked down in price and thought the same of picture and actual product. At least they can do, is to show some respect for the chook that died and match it to the picture.

The supermarkets now stooping to Mc Garbage photography bullshit. Jamie Oliver is either a sellout or has cause to sue Woolworths. Who would agree go sell that shit with their face on the pack??

[taslucas]

The supermarkets now stooping to Mc Garbage photography bullshit. Jamie Oliver is either a sellout or has cause to sue Woolworths. Who would agree go sell that shit with their face on the pack??Alas, I believe Jamie's a sell out! And I used to really like him 15 years ago

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[Plasnart]

Alas, I believe Jamie's a sell out! And I used to really like him 15 years ago

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But he cares for kid's canteen menus, and Woolworths are the fresh food people. Haha! :D

[taslucas]

His super foods series was cool.

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[garett]

Haven't lived there in 16 years so things may we'll have changed but initially lights were put in place and only in use during peak rush hour times and were not used at any other times.

Have you played on this one yet?
https://youtu.be/6OGvj7GZSIo

should check out the either direction roundabout thingy in hemal Hempstead.
https://www.google.com/maps/@51.7462862,-0.4733119,136m/data=!3m1!1e3

[Mc4by]

But he cares for kid's canteen menus, and Woolworths are the fresh food people. Haha! :D

20 years of hard work stolen by criminal accountants. Now it is all about getting quick money to get back on top.

[Clunk]

should check out the either direction roundabout thingy in hemal Hempstead.
https://www.google.com/maps/@51.7462862,-0.4733119,136m/data=!3m1!1e3Same principle but on a larger scale.

[10G]

Intersting pic? Maybe. A joke? Most definately.

77949

I thought the joke was that it is a dead animal, but RSPCA approved. Oh the hypocrisy.

[Wine_maker]

Only this way

77958

[Touses]

Only this way

77958

Valentines day from different perspectives.

[taslucas]

20 years of hard work stolen by criminal accountants. Now it is all about getting quick money to get back on top.Oh really, what happened?

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[Mc4by]

Oh really, what happened?

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I heard an interview with him last year where he talked about thinking he was indestructible and then found he was near broke.
His restaurants were failing and he owed millions.
With the number of his shows currently running on the box he appears to be getting back on top.
It may have been his fault but you would think his advisors would be giving input.

[taslucas]

77960

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[Plasnart]

Sweet!! 2 for 1.

[taslucas]

77961

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[the evil twin]

I met a hard core commo many years ago...

The Thai Army boys had caught him the night before during a dust up in the bush after him and his mates had wrecked a rail bridge.
The locals had set up an A frame thingy in a Monsoon drain in the Village and had him climbing up one side, down the other then crawling under the base in the mud, turds and dead critters and would give him a kicking if he went too slow.

He wasn't all that talkative... must have been enjoying the Fitness Class too much to stop and chat.

We were on the train about a week later heading back to Malaysia and it was constantly stopping for Thai Army dudes getting on and off at bridges etc where they had set up outposts.
Bit scary for the wives and kids but the locals weren't worried saying they reckon the Army had brassed up all the CT's involved in it a few days prior.

[Avo]

Alas, I believe Jamie's a sell out! And I used to really like him 15 years ago

Sent from my G8141 using TapatalkWhen he was a naked chef no doubt

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[Wine_maker]

The right choice was made here

77973

[GeeYou8]

77985
It caught me

[TPC]

I am in, who wants to join me.

78011

[Mc4by]

I am in, who wants to join me.

78011

I hate that I had to read that twice......
I blame excessive alcohol...

[Clunk]

............
http://www.nissanpatrol.com.au/forums/images/imported/2019/02/162.jpg

[Clunk]

..........

[PeeBee]

[QUOTE=Clunk;778920]..........


This made my day - a GREAT starter theme! Might bring it up in the pre-start instead of some benign intangible concept like the case of the boiling frog.

[Ghosts]

Clunk Similar to the joke when little Johnny`s mum asks him how was his first week of school holidays at grandpas farm went. Johnny says he helped feed the chooks with grandma, helped round up the sheep for the shearers and helped feeding the f^ckers. Mum was shocked and told him not to swear. Little Johnny said well, grandpa calls them eifers, but I knew what he was on about.

[TPC]

..........



Last edited by Woof; 27th February 2019 at 05:31 PM. Reason: No suitable Clunky, you should know better

What a grouch, the swearing was in the image, not the text so it wouldn't come up in a search. :animierte-smili

[Woof]

What a grouch, the swearing was in the image, not the text so it wouldn't come up in a search. :animierte-smili

Does not matter, if adults or children look at that post it is not a good look for our forum
Got a problem with that the speak to AB:harhar:

[Clunk]

..........Well yes, I should know better but some f#*ker needs to keep you in work..... And that would be me elc#*tino f#kstardo wind up Doggio

You all set for you cuddle overload?

[Woof]

Well yes, I should know better but some f#*ker needs to keep you in work..... And that would be me elc#*tino f#kstardo wind up Doggio

You all set for you cuddle overload?

All good mate.........................don't do cuddles, maybe just a quick hug from a distance though

[Avo]

All good mate.........................don't do cuddles, maybe just a quick hug from a distance thoughYou won't have a fekkin choice

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[Clunk]

Sounds like they went to Avo's place .Not yet [emoji1][emoji1][emoji1]

[Brissieboy]

Proud to say I have never had one of those - and never will.78027

[Mc4by]

NASA has invented a new pen.
It writes under water. It can write other words as well.

[Avo]

Sounds like they went to Avo's place .Easy fella...we do it quiet around hete...no creeks n no squealin

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[Mc4by]

78039

No offense intended to my Irish friends.

[the evil twin]

NASA has invented a new pen.
It writes under water. It can write other words as well.

IBM invented the Computer Keyboard

It writes any word the user can spell plus heaps of others that the user cannot.

[Mc4by]

I found my hamster dead in his cage.
Apparently he fell asleep at the wheel.

[Ghosts]

I had an annoying person bothering me the other day. I took an analgesic, thinking that might help the pita to go away.

[GQtdauto]

This DIY wiring caper is a piece of piss , with the help of you tube and Mr Google .

78063

[PeeBee]

Someone must have been in and tidied up under my bonnet

[TPC]

..........
78110

[BigRAWesty]

..........http://www.nissanpatrol.com.au/forums/images/imported/2019/03/114.jpg

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[Ghosts]

..........
78110

I wonder if Alvis Parsley works there.

[4bye4]

Then you remember it's left hand thread.

78167

[TPC]

Australia Computer Terminology - Getting ready for NBN Broadband in the bush!!

LOGON:….Adding wood to make the Barbie hotter
LOG OFF:….Not adding any more wood to the Barbie.
MONITOR:….Keeping an eye on the Barbie.
DOWNLOAD:….Getting the firewood off the Ute.
HARD DRIVE:….Making the trip back home without any cold tinnies.
KEYBOARD:….Where you hang the Ute keys.
WINDOWS:….What you shut when the weather's cold.
SCREEN:….What you shut in the mozzie season..
BYTE:….What mozzies do
MEGABYTE:….What Townsville mozzies do.
CHIP:….A pub snack.
MICROCHIP:….What's left in the bag after you've eaten the chips.
MODEM:….What you did to the lawns.
LAPTOP:….Where the cat sleeps.
SOFTWARE:….Plastic knives and forks you get at Red Rooster.
HARDWARE:….Stainless steel knives and forks - from K-Mart.
MOUSE:….The small rodent that eats the grain in the shed.
MAINFRAME:….What holds the shed up.
WEB:….What spiders make.
WEBSITE:….Usually in the shed or under the verandah.
SEARCH ENGINE:….What you do when the Ute won't go.
CURSOR:….What you say when the Ute won't go.
YAHOO:….What you say when the Ute does go.
UPGRADE:…. A steep hill.
SERVER:….The person at the pub who brings out the counter lunch.
MAIL SERVER:….The bloke at the pub who brings out the counter lunch.
USER:….The neighbour who keeps borrowing things.
NETWORK:….What you do when you need to repair the fishing net.
INTERNET:….Where you want the fish to go.
NETSCAPE:….What the fish do when they discover a hole in the net.
ONLINE:….Where you hang the washing.
OFFLINE:….Where the washing ends up when the pegs aren't strong enough.

[10G]

Australia Computer Terminology - Getting ready for NBN Broadband in the bush!!

LOGON:….Adding wood to make the Barbie hotter
LOG OFF:….Not adding any more wood to the Barbie.
MONITOR:….Keeping an eye on the Barbie.
DOWNLOAD:….Getting the firewood off the Ute.
HARD DRIVE:….Making the trip back home without any cold tinnies.
KEYBOARD:….Where you hang the Ute keys.
WINDOWS:….What you shut when the weather's cold.
SCREEN:….What you shut in the mozzie season..
BYTE:….What mozzies do
MEGABYTE:….What Townsville mozzies do.
CHIP:….A pub snack.
MICROCHIP:….What's left in the bag after you've eaten the chips.
MODEM:….What you did to the lawns.
LAPTOP:….Where the cat sleeps.
SOFTWARE:….Plastic knives and forks you get at Red Rooster.
HARDWARE:….Stainless steel knives and forks - from K-Mart.
MOUSE:….The small rodent that eats the grain in the shed.
MAINFRAME:….What holds the shed up.
WEB:….What spiders make.
WEBSITE:….Usually in the shed or under the verandah.
SEARCH ENGINE:….What you do when the Ute won't go.
CURSOR:….What you say when the Ute won't go.
YAHOO:….What you say when the Ute does go.
UPGRADE:…. A steep hill.
SERVER:….The person at the pub who brings out the counter lunch.
MAIL SERVER:….The bloke at the pub who brings out the counter lunch.
USER:….The neighbour who keeps borrowing things.
NETWORK:….What you do when you need to repair the fishing net.
INTERNET:….Where you want the fish to go.
NETSCAPE:….What the fish do when they discover a hole in the net.
ONLINE:….Where you hang the washing.
OFFLINE:….Where the washing ends up when the pegs aren't strong enough.


Haha, good. Hmm, Netscape, must be an old jpeg.

[rusty_nail]

A-Team style!

78193Safety first lol

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[mudnut]

Is that an imprint of a GU bullbar on them, Plassy?

[GQtdauto]

Not sure if I posted this last year when I took this pic, but just came across it again in my Random Pics file. First and only time I ever saw a Sheriff "Divvy Van". Didn't know they had arrest powers?

78216

More power than a cop from what I've heard .

[Hodge]

Yeah? Always thought they were govt debt collectors. Can you be arrested for outstanding debts? I thought you'd be summonsed for something like that. I may very well be wrong but until I snapped this pic (and never since) have I ever seen a Sheriff custody van. Interesting, I might have to do some googling.There's a minor Sherif depot very close to my work. And just about every morning they congregate for donuts at the smoko shop next door. Friendly bunch it seems. Quiet often have a chat with them.
I will ask the question for you Plassy.
I will note that some of them are more armed than others and do drive more aggressive vehicles . They now have some Colorado's divvys from memory.
The rest are armed , but they drive Hybrid Camrys.



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[Maxhead]

Yeah? Always thought they were govt debt collectors. Can you be arrested for outstanding debts? I thought you'd be summonsed for something like that. I may very well be wrong but until I snapped this pic (and never since) have I ever seen a Sheriff custody van. Interesting, I might have to do some googling.

https://www.justice.vic.gov.au/justice-system/sheriffs-in-victoria/sheriff-enforcement-powers


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[MB]

An old vertical mine shaft just decided to unveil itself in the middle of our road.
http://www.nissanpatrol.com.au/forums/images/imported/2019/04/55.jpg
http://www.nissanpatrol.com.au/forums/images/imported/2019/04/56.jpg
http://www.nissanpatrol.com.au/forums/images/imported/2019/04/57.jpg
Crazy stuff as the amount of trucks, cars, horse trail rides and bikes over the years that have passed up and down here, so so lucky!
http://www.nissanpatrol.com.au/forums/images/imported/2019/04/58.jpg


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[Winnie]

Far out man that is unreal! That is so bloody dangerous, they must have known that when they built the road?

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[the evil twin]

.. looks like a good place to hide dead Greenies to me... just tell 'em it is a Lesser 3 Toed Fruit Bat Habitat and keep pushing them in until no more fit and bitumen over the top... simples

[PeeBee]

Holy Hell, that is something that could end badly for sure, going to be interesting as to how they sort it out, whether they survey it to see what direction it heads of simply backfill - wonder how many more are floating around. Impressive effort to dig it.

[MB]

SES kindly have Council Engineers on the way now mate.
Will be interesting for sure, our whole area is a maze of underground hard yakka mining from the early days.
Apparently there were more pubs (rum bark shanty’s) than anywhere in Australia here at its working peak.
This other one is only 3m off the side of the road nearby and some 50+m deep, super safe area for possum spotting pissed at night[emoji106]
http://www.nissanpatrol.com.au/forums/images/imported/2019/04/59.jpg



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[the evil twin]

... would add a new meaning to "pull over for a sec, I just need a wee....eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee...thud!!!!

Gotta be careful over here in the Gold Fields for that reason but there is usually a big mullock heap beside the abandoned shaft as a hint

[mudnut]

If you didn't want to hold the meet up at yours, then just tell us! Not go to such extravagant lengths:)

[Rossco]

Wow that's crazy. No shortage of drama on your side of the hill, lightning one week, mineshafts in the road the next [emoji1787] . . Got a pretty cool lightning bolt out of the blue last night sounded like it was right on the house lol. .

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[Clunk]

Grubs up ........http://www.nissanpatrol.com.au/forums/images/imported/2019/04/62.jpg

[MB]

If you didn't want to hold the meet up at yours, then just tell us! Not go to such extravagant lengths:)

Just be sure to pack your Maxtwax Muddy Mate, they should bridge the gap up to the block [emoji106][emoji106]


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[Clunk]

........
http://www.nissanpatrol.com.au/forums/images/imported/2019/04/65.jpg

[MB]

http://www.nissanpatrol.com.au/forums/images/imported/2019/04/69.jpg


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[Ghosts]

Plastic covered furniture, the new incontinence protection.

[AB]

Just went outside and thought I left the lights on last night!!!!

Sun rising up hitting the headlight perfectly lol

http://www.nissanpatrol.com.au/forums/images/imported/2019/04/75.jpg


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[BillsGU]

... would add a new meaning to "pull over for a sec, I just need a wee....eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee...thud!!!!

Gotta be careful over here in the Gold Fields for that reason but there is usually a big mullock heap beside the abandoned shaft as a hint

Trouble is a lot of these are air shafts and are dug from the inside of the drive upwards until they reach the surface - so there are no mullock heaps. I have been inside many of the old mines here in the North East and it is not unusual to find many animal bones at the bottom of these shafts. At least, I assumed they were animal bones.

[AB]

Trouble is a lot of these are air shafts and are dug from the inside of the drive upwards until they reach the surface - so there are no mullock heaps. I have been inside many of the old mines here in the North East and it is not unusual to find many animal bones at the bottom of these shafts. At least, I assumed they were animal bones.

Yep this one and many like this in Vic have adits downhill to remove the material so the vertical shafts can be hard to see sometimes.

I stumbled on one at Woodspoint prospecting and it would’ve been 50m deep and I only just saw it about 10m away in thick bush. Scary stuff!


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[Clunk]

...........
http://www.nissanpatrol.com.au/forums/images/imported/2019/04/92.jpg

[MB]

http://www.nissanpatrol.com.au/forums/images/imported/2019/04/93.jpg


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[Winnie]

My dad died last year when my family couldn't remember his blood type in time for paramedics to give him a blood transfusion.
As he was dying he kept insisting "be positive", but it's hard without him.

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[Clunk]

...........
http://www.nissanpatrol.com.au/forums/images/imported/2019/04/101.jpg

[GQtdauto]

I've got to buy one of these for my Prius !

http://vi.raptor.ebaydesc.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItemDescV4&item=112853835064&category=16039&pm=1&ds=0&t=1556533766292

[Hodge]

.http://www.nissanpatrol.com.au/forums/images/imported/2019/05/353.jpg

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[MB]

http://www.nissanpatrol.com.au/forums/images/imported/2019/05/358.jpg


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[MB]

http://www.nissanpatrol.com.au/forums/images/imported/2019/08/77.jpg


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[MB]

‘The Original & Best’ ....betterer at night with WA Zin Milk!
http://www.nissanpatrol.com.au/forums/images/imported/2019/09/74.jpg
Going to be hard to abstain oneself after such Pemberton goodness[emoji106][emoji106]





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[MB]

Saw a couple of Patrol fans out and about yesterday....

79332

Now that’s just sick B3 :-( !


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[Plasnart]

Now that’s just sick B3 :-( !


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Easy on the zin flakes mate! :D

[Brissieboy]

A simple urine test all males can do:
Have a leak in the garden.
If ants gather around, you have diabetes.
If you piddle on your feet, you have prostate problems.
If it smells like a barbecue, you have cholesterol problems.
If your wrist hurts when you shake it after your finished, you have osteoarthritis.
If you leave the old fella out when you return to the house, you have alzheimers.

[MB]

A quick ride into town with the DEVONPOLICE for our last Convict supper in Tassie on Friday night!
http://www.nissanpatrol.com.au/forums/images/imported/2020/01/228.jpg
http://www.nissanpatrol.com.au/forums/images/imported/2020/01/229.jpg



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[MB]

Had to love this old blokes ‘WinkyBago’ efforts boarding behind some yanky yuppies :-)
http://www.nissanpatrol.com.au/forums/images/imported/2020/01/230.jpg


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[MEGOMONSTER]

http://www.nissanpatrol.com.au/forums/images/imported/2020/01/235.jpg

[MB]

Scrolling through our iphony photo album from a recent Tassie adventure:

“Hey Darren, would you kindly mind taking a picture for us of our family in front of Montezuma Falls please mate”?

“No problem mate, I got this” !

http://www.nissanpatrol.com.au/forums/images/imported/2020/01/240.jpg

A Sneaky Bearded Buffoon I tells ya’ll :-)



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[rusty_nail]

100% that is something I would do lol. Good work dazz!!

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[jay see]

That's the reason why I stopped asking my son, but he doesn't stop at one you're lucky MB

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[MB]

Downloading Tinder McAppy now, please send in yours too Rusty_McKnackers!

“I got this, for ya’s both matchmaking” :-)


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[Rossco]

http://www.nissanpatrol.com.au/forums/images/imported/2020/01/235.jpgThat car looks remarkably like Darren's albeit with a better sidestep. .

http://www.nissanpatrol.com.au/forums/images/imported/2020/01/241.jpg

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[MB]

Well back silver fresh in the day on ‘The Madagassar Line’ [emoji106][emoji106]


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[MEGOMONSTER]

http://www.nissanpatrol.com.au/forums/images/imported/2020/01/246.jpg

[mudnut]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e7bWNAxtLvs

[MB]

http://www.nissanpatrol.com.au/forums/images/imported/2020/10/58.jpg

http://www.nissanpatrol.com.au/forums/images/imported/2020/10/59.jpg

http://www.nissanpatrol.com.au/forums/images/imported/2020/10/60.jpg

http://www.nissanpatrol.com.au/forums/images/imported/2020/10/61.jpg



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[Wine_maker]

82296
pic 1

[Plasnart]

82296
pic 1

I can't stop laughing to this! I hate shallow people and love evil cats! :D

[MB]

I can't stop laughing to this! I hate shallow people and love evil cats! :D

They both suck the life out of you Plassy, only in it selfishly for themselves I says Mate [emoji23]


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[Plasnart]

She's been a bit blowy today :)

82431

[Winnie]

An American decided to write a book about famous churches around the world. So he bought a plane ticket and took a trip to Orlando, thinking that he would start by working his way across the USA from South to North. On his first day he was inside a church taking photographs when he noticed golden telephone mounted on the wall with a sign that read "$10,000 per call".

The American, being intrigued, asked a priest who was strolling by what the telephone was used for. The priest replied that it was a direct line to heaven and that for $10,000 you could talk to God.

The American thanked the priest and went along his way. Next stop was in Atlanta. There, at a very large cathedral, he saw the same golden telephone with the same sign under it. He wondered if this was the same kind of telephone he saw in Orlando and he asked a nearby nun what its purpose was. She told him that it was a direct line to heaven and that for $10,000 he could talk to God. "O.K., thank you," said the American.

He then traveled to Indianapolis, Washington DC, Philadelphia, Boston, and New York. In every church he saw the same golden telephone with the same "$10,000 per call" sign under it. The American, upon leaving Vermont decided to travel to AUSTRALIA to see if Australians had the same phone.

He arrived in Australia, and again, in the first church he entered, there was the same golden telephone, but this time the sign under it read "40 cents per call." The American was surprised so he asked the priest about the sign. "Father, I've traveled all over America and I've seen this same golden telephone in many churches. I'm told that it is a direct line to Heaven, but in the US the price was $10,000 per call. Why is it so cheap here?"

The priest smiled and answered, "You're in Australia now, son - it's a local call".

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[Az Maksutai]

It is a hacknayed joke but it is funny. "Smiles' is the longest word in English. Because there is a whole mile between the 1st and the last letters.

[mudnut]

This funny bugger made my day. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=23FCd1L9bDE

[Winnie]

I bought a cold slab of beer yesterday and on the way home, stopped at a servo for diesel.
There was a gorgeous redhead at the same bowser, filling her car. It was a stinking day and while at the pump, I thought that I should have put the beers in the car fridge straight away. So, after fuelling up and paying, I moved the vehicle to a parking area and proceeded to place the beers in the Engel.

Just then, the redhead walked out of the servo, saw the cold beers, came over and said, in an amazingly sexy voice " I'm a great believer in barter so, would you be interested in trading sex for beer?'

I thought for a second or two and then asked ' What kind of beer do you have?'

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[Rossco]

Only the finest will do of course. .

http://www.nissanpatrol.com.au/forums/images/imported/2020/11/117.jpg

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