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A nerdy jokeAttachment 30143
Man calls 911 and says "I think my wife is dead". The operator says, "How
do you know?" He says "The sex is the same but the ironing is building up!"
Went for my routine checkup today and everything seemed to be going
fine until he stuck his index finger up my butt!
Do you think I should change dentists?
A wife says to her husband," you're always pushing me around and talking
behind my back." "He says what do you expect? You're in a wheel chair."
I was explaining to my wife last night that when you die you get
reincarnated but must come back as a different creature.
She said she would like to come back as a cow.
I said, "You're obviously not listening".
A buddy of mine has just told me he's getting it on with his girlfriend and
her twin.
I said "How can you tell them apart?"He said "Her brother's got a
moustache."
Top jokes, but you may wanna edit the last 2.. :D
Kallen Westbrook
Owner of
Westy's Accessories
Thanks, don't know how it got all screwy like that, I just copied and pasted. Bloody computers have a mind of their own sometimes.Quote:
Originally Posted by Westy's Accessories
Yea mine is playing games to.. keeps coming up treads closed when trying to reply, and odd dates like 1970 on replies... World's goin crazy...Quote:
Originally Posted by TPC
Kallen Westbrook
Owner of
Westy's Accessories
Why did the baker have smelly hands?
He kneaded a poo!!
Guys have vanadium nuts
http://www.nissanpatrol.com.au/forum...013/07/108.jpg
A group of doctors were out duck hunting, when a large bird flew overhead.
The family doctor raised his gun to shoot, but then lowered his gun saying "I am not sure that is a duck."
The Psychiatrist raised his gun, but then lowered it again saying “I know it's a duck, but I'm not sure that it knows it's a duck."
The surgeon raises his gun and blasts the bird out of the sky. He turns to the pathologist and says "Go see if that was a duck."
That looks very much like someone from here :-)......Quote:
Originally Posted by Wine_maker
At a wine merchant, the regular taster died and the director started looking for a new one to hire.
A drunkard with a ragged, dirty look came in to apply for the position.
The director of the winery wondered how to send him away.
He gave him a glass to drink.
The drunk tried it and said:
"It's a Muscat , three years old, grown on a north slope, matured in steel containers. Low grade, but acceptable.”
"That's correct", said the boss.
Another glass....
"It's a cabernet, eight years old, a south-western slope, oak barrels, matured at 8 degrees. Requires three more years for finest results."
"Correct."
A third glass...
''It's a pinot blanc champagne, high grade and exclusive,'' calmly said the drunk.
The director was astonished.
He winked at his secretary, secretly suggesting something.
She left the room, and came back in with a glass of urine.
The alcoholic tried it.
"It's a blonde, 26 years old, three months pregnant - and if I don't get the job, I'll name the father."
The most stupid thing.
http://www.nissanpatrol.com.au/forum...chmentid=34203
if you have a mate who have a Jeep you know what you should show him lol
http://www.nissanpatrol.com.au/forum...chmentid=34204
I saw a lot of guy's here who like hot sauces and peppers.
Who wants to taste this?
Euphorbia resinifera
http://www.nissanpatrol.com.au/forum...2013/09/93.jpg
Trinidad Moruga Scorpion Red - 2 000 000 - 5 300 000 units of Scovills scale
Euphorbia resinifera - 16 000 000 000 units of Scovills scale.
A child asked his father, "How were people born?
" So his father said, "Adam and Eve made babies, then their babies became adults and made babies, and so on."
The child then went to his mother, asked her the same question and she told him,
"We were monkeys then we evolved to become like we are now."
The child ran back to his father and said,
"You lied to me!"
His father replied, "No, your mom was talking about her side of the family."
Holy shite, Growler challenge has been put on the table. LolQuote:
Originally Posted by Wine_maker
That's a bloody cactus!! I ain't eating no cactus ;)Quote:
Originally Posted by MEGOMONSTER
I wanna see you taste 16 billion farkin hot points.Quote:
Originally Posted by growler2058
:oops: Its not a cactus!
Its - Euphorbia!
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Euphorbia_resinifera
But yes! Its bloody HOT! :furious::furious::furious:
Quote:
Originally Posted by MEGOMONSTER
Quote:
Originally Posted by Wine_maker
Nope ya can both get STUFFED I aint doing it!
I think that's a good decision.Quote:
Originally Posted by growler2058
Bahahah the great growler has met his match, weak as water mate!Quote:
Originally Posted by growler2058
Sent from my iPad using Motorculture mobile app
F.O. Poo...Quote:
Originally Posted by Winnie
Ok, ok we will waiting for this moment ... a few years ...Quote:
Originally Posted by growler2058
Сuriosity is very strong thing lol.
sssooooffffffttttt as butter...Quote:
Originally Posted by growler2058
Quote:
Originally Posted by Winnie
I agree, you two should give it a try and show him how its done.Quote:
Originally Posted by Westy's Accessories
Can you send some over Wine Maker.
http://www.ebay.com/itm/Euphorbia-re...item45fade58b1
It is waiting for you growler! And we all waiting for you. lol
Quote:
Originally Posted by Wine_maker
C'mon tough guy, get that into ya...LMAO
Nah he's a bit soft for that mate. Can handle the hottest chilli but a cactus scares him.
Did we actually see him eat the hottest chilly??? or was it another video illusion trickery???HAHAHHAHAHQuote:
Originally Posted by Winnie
Nuh, it must be true, I saw it with my own two eyes........Quote:
Originally Posted by Nisshead
he definitely ate a woolworths capsicum!!
It was a sweet chilli dipped in red dye, it only looked like a Trinidad Scorpion.Quote:
Originally Posted by Nisshead
Then he just jumped around screaming "ooooh farkin hell, farrrrrrrrk, farkkk"
Till the end of the video. Nothing to it really
Yeah, just as I thought...soft cokcQuote:
Originally Posted by MEGOMONSTER
"daddy was silly and ate the chilli"
....."than screamed like a little girl"Quote:
Originally Posted by taslucas
Oh, was that growlers? I thought it was his daughter.....Quote:
Originally Posted by Nisshead
Yeah the camera did duck down a bit when he put it in his mouth hey. I reckon he needs to do a retake.Quote:
Originally Posted by Nisshead
Hahahahaahah!!!!!Quote:
Originally Posted by taslucas
I was wondering why this is in the Joke thread but then realized the whole chili eating was a Joke on us...LMAO
I am glad I am not a fool or easily give into peer pressure. No chilli for me! Somebody better post some over for Oktoberfest, Lucas needs to try it!