Random joke and interesting pics

..............Attachment 38620

Just like my friend when winter comes.

http://www.nissanpatrol.com.au/forum.../2014/01/1.gif

Attachment 38889
............

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by menace 2

A blokes revenge..when girls don’t put out !

I thought I would share this event in my life..

I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differs so much.
And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing.
I have never figured out why men think with their heads and women with their hearts.

For Example :

One evening,my girlfriend and I were getting into bed.
Well , the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says,
“I don’t feel like it , I just want you to hold me”

I said “WHAT!!...what is that”?!!

So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear….
“Your’e just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough, for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man”

She responded to my puzzled look by saying, “can’t you just love me for who I am and not for what I do for you in the bedroom”?

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night…I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day away from work and spend the day with her.

We went out to a nice lunch and went shopping at a large department store.
I walked around with her while she tried on several different expensive out-fits.
She couldn’t decide which one to take so I told her that we could just buy them all.

She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said,.. “let’s get a pair for each out- fit”

We went on to the jewellery department where she picked out a set of pearl earings.

Let me tell you , she was so excited , she must have thought I was one sandwich short of a picnic.

I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet , when she doesn’t even know how to ,or play tennis !!

I think I threw her for a loop when I said “That’s fine honey”!

I believe she was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all the excitement.

Smiling with excited anticipation , she finally said , “I think this is all darling , let’s go to the cashier”

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out.. “No honey , I don’t feel like it”.

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled “WHAT”??

I then said.. “Honey !!...I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while”.
“Your’e just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman”!!

And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me , I added , “Why cant you just love me for who I am , not for the things I buy you”??

I dare to say , I wasn’t having sex that night either…..but at least that bitch knew that I was smarter than her.!!

---

How did no1 applaud you for this one.
Great read...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7zWNJHS9PBE

An oldie but this always makes me chuckle

Nice engine upgrade for a GQ, just a gew more bhp
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l2XsNPHd1AY

Attachment 39022


Yep they exist

What goes around comes around !!!

Q. What do you get if you cross the English cricket team with an OXO cube?


A. A laughing stock.


Q What’s the height of optimism?

A: English batsman putting on sunscreen.



Q What’s the difference between an English batsman and a Formula 1 car?


A. Nothing! If you blink you’ll miss them both.


Q. What do English batsmen and drug addicts have in common?

A. Both spend most of their time wondering where their next score will come from.


Q. What does an English batsman who is playing in The Ashes have in common with Michael Jackson?

A.They both wore gloves for no apparent reason.


Q. What is the difference between Cinderella and the Pommies?


A. Cinderella knew when to leave the ball.



Q. What's the difference between the Pommies and a funeral director?

A. A funeral director isn't going to lose the ashes.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by 93patrol

Attachment 39022


Yep they exist

---

Begs the question WHY!!!

..............Attachment 39261