Depression

[jack]

In the last 20 years I've had three friends whose sons have committed suicide, all violently - one shot himself, one drowned himself and one hung himself.
Absolutely devastated the families, as they were all found by family members. They ranged from 17 to late 20's in age and only one left a note - which didn't really make sense.
For one there were some warning signs but so subtle they they didn't realise till after the event.

The families never recovered from it and all blame themselves in some form for not seeing it coming, if only they had come to the same realisation as your sister.
Anybody out there contemplating suicide - there is a future and help available no matter how bad it seems.

[NP99]

I read a suicide note from a young soldier some years back. He went into great detail on why he was doing it and fare welled each family member. He also apologised to his platoon sergeant for what he was about to do. It still chokes me up thinking about it.

[Cuppa]

One thing that can make a big difference to somebody who is feeling at the point of no return is to ask them if they are thinking of harming themselves. Sounds like common sense, but is not a question commonly asked, presumably because folk are scared of what the answer might be, most likely because they are worried they wont know what to say or do if the answer is yes.
From experience in my past professional life asking the question helps. Letting go of the secret is often a relief. With it out in the open, the person doing the asking can provide a lot just by being there, & ‘hanging in’ with the suicidal person. Ask questions, How long, how often have you been feeling like this? How have you planned to kill yourself. i.e.. don’t try to minimise it by saying it’s silly, or that they are wrong & that everything is really ok. Hear them by being genuinely interested, AND be prepared to stay with them if either they or you don’t feel they are safe........ even if they tell you they will be ok, YOU decide, don’t just take there word for it........ for as long as it takes. Get help to manage their safety. Friends, family, professionals. It’s a big responsibility being a mate & if you shirk it, you might live to regret it. When my best mate told me he was thinking of killing himself I cried, right there in front of him, there was him feeling worthless & me suddenly vey fearful of losing him. Looking back I like to think that my reaction played a part in helping him understand that whilst he was feeling worthless that others valued him & wanted him around.

[NP99]

Cuppa, your last sentence sums it up for a lot that consider themselves worthless. There will always be somebody that loves you. Sometimes they haven't let you know...

[PMC]

Furthermore to this, she recently did an interview for the Sydney Morning Herald, which is HUGE. she is also speaking at a Lived Suicide Experience Symposium next week at the Opera House. Pretty big stuff. check out her story below

http://www.smh.com.au/national/health/why-we-need-to-end-the-taboo-surrounding-suicide-20140613-zs6mr.html

G'day, rusty_nail,

What a fantastic young lady she is. I echo Apollofish's sentiments' I bet you and the family are so proud of her!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Kind regards,

Paul

[growler2058]

http://www.matesinconstruction.com.au/





http://www.matesinconstruction.com.au/flux-content/mic-2013/graphics/system/mic-logo.png

[PMC]

I read a suicide note from a young soldier some years back. He went into great detail on why he was doing it and fare welled each family member. He also apologised to his platoon sergeant for what he was about to do. It still chokes me up thinking about it.

G'day Shane,

That's why you were a good Officer, you cared about your men!

Kind regards,

Paul

[PMC]

One thing that can make a big difference to somebody who is feeling at the point of no return is to ask them if they are thinking of harming themselves. Sounds like common sense, but is not a question commonly asked, presumably because folk are scared of what the answer might be, most likely because they are worried they wont know what to say or do if the answer is yes.
From experience in my past professional life asking the question helps. Letting go of the secret is often a relief. With it out in the open, the person doing the asking can provide a lot just by being there, & ‘hanging in’ with the suicidal person. Ask questions, How long, how often have you been feeling like this? How have you planned to kill yourself. i.e.. don’t try to minimise it by saying it’s silly, or that they are wrong & that everything is really ok. Hear them by being genuinely interested, AND be prepared to stay with them if either they or you don’t feel they are safe........ even if they tell you they will be ok, YOU decide, don’t just take there word for it........ for as long as it takes. Get help to manage their safety. Friends, family, professionals. It’s a big responsibility being a mate & if you shirk it, you might live to regret it. When my best mate told me he was thinking of killing himself I cried, right there in front of him, there was him feeling worthless & me suddenly vey fearful of losing him. Looking back I like to think that my reaction played a part in helping him understand that whilst he was feeling worthless that others valued him & wanted him around.

G'evening Cuppa,

That's why you are a good man mate!

Kind regards,

Paul

[Gecko17]

You nailed it cuppa... was part of my old job to ask those questions too. Funnily enough, part of the 'new' career as well.

[growler2058]

I've done the MIC (mates in construction) inducted and connector training. They ask us to say suicide. "Are you thinking about suicide", not harming, hurting, topping, necking etc. Like cuppa said asking are you thinking about suicide can be the turning point in stopping someone or have them getting help/ speak to an expert.

[Cuppa]

http://www.matesinconstruction.com.au/





http://www.nissanpatrol.com.au/forums/

Looks like a good thing which could be copied in other work based environments. Shame it's not in every states. There's a lot more to you than just being a pisshead chili munching bogan. ;) goodonya mate. Have a well earned break & stay safe.

[NP99]

Sometimes we need to slow down and check on each other. Words too can push people over the edge as words of encouragement can save someone.

[Bloodyaussie]

After everything that has gone on with me this year I am managing to stay the course and keeping upbeat.

I find this place a great help and deal with my stress by having a laugh (I know there are some that dont get that) and being able to talk out loud to a bunch of normal blokes.

I know from reading on here there are others that are doing it much harder than myself and with some serious issues they must deal with and this puts things in perspective.

Its not so much the "Suck it up princess " thing but more that although this year has been one of the toughest I have had to deal with in 20 years it is all manageable and there is light and the end.

My health issues that have come on in the last year pale in comparison to some of you and what you go through and deal with on a day to day basis is inspiring.

Some stuff I have to deal with very soon have lost there edge as far as worry goes and the way I deal with it has changed... I have had some good advice from members on this forum and referred to family members for legal or emotional ... so thanks guys and gals !!!!!!!

[BigRAWesty]

Your right. There are people out there doing it much harder..
But I'm like you in a way. Mid last year I stopped worrying about life.
Shoit happens. You just gotta deal with it, manage the issue and move on..

My no1 issue still is money, but that's our mistakes as young adults.. We can't change it, we just gotta manage and fingers crossed once this round if house renos are done it'll free up some serious cash flow..

This was a poem read at the funeral Wednesday and it rings true in my ears..

The Dash
by Linda Ellis

I read of a man who stood to speak
at the funeral of a friend.
He referred to the dates on the tombstone
from the beginning...to the end.

He noted that first came the date of birth
and spoke the following date with tears,
but he said what mattered most of all
was the dash between those years.

For that dash represents all the time
that they spent alive on earth.
And now only those who loved them
know what that little line is worth.

For it matters not, how much we own,
the cars...the house...the cash.
What matters is how we live and love
and how we spend our dash.

So, think about this long and hard.
Are there things you'd like to change?
For you never know how much time is left
that can still be rearranged.

If we could just slow down enough
to consider what's true and real
and always try to understand
the way other people feel.

And be less quick to anger
and show appreciation more
and love the people in our lives
like we've never loved before.*

If we treat each other with respect
and more often wear a smile,
remembering that this special dash
might only last a little while.

So, when your eulogy is being read,
with your life's actions to rehash...
would you be proud of the things they say
about how you spent YOUR dash?

[PMC]

After everything that has gone on with me this year I am managing to stay the course and keeping upbeat.

I find this place a great help and deal with my stress by having a laugh (I know there are some that dont get that) and being able to talk out loud to a bunch of normal blokes.

I know from reading on here there are others that are doing it much harder than myself and with some serious issues they must deal with and this puts things in perspective.

Its not so much the "Suck it up princess " thing but more that although this year has been one of the toughest I have had to deal with in 20 years it is all manageable and there is light and the end.

My health issues that have come on in the last year pale in comparison to some of you and what you go through and deal with on a day to day basis is inspiring.

Some stuff I have to deal with very soon have lost there edge as far as worry goes and the way I deal with it has changed... I have had some good advice from members on this forum and referred to family members for legal or emotional ... so thanks guys and gals !!!!!!!

G'day Jonathon,

If you don't think your bloody anxiety, depression, sadness and stress impact your physical health, think again. All of these emotions trigger chemical reactions in your body, which can lead to inflammation and a weakened immune system. You must learn how to cope, my fussy-arsed friend. There will always be dark days ahead of us.

That's the thing about farken depression mate, a human being can survive almost anything, as long as he/she sees the end in sight. But depression is so insidious, and it compounds daily, that it's impossible to ever see the end. The darkness is like Collingwood winning a farken grand final. lol

PS, you know mate, you have a place to come up and stay, I am just a phone call away! the poet lol

Regards,

Paul

[Bloodyaussie]

G'day Jonathon,

If you don't think your bloody anxiety, depression, sadness and stress impact your physical health, think again. All of these emotions trigger chemical reactions in your body, which can lead to inflammation and a weakened immune system. You must learn how to cope, my fussy-arsed friend. There will always be dark days ahead of us.

That's the thing about farken depression mate, a human being can survive almost anything, as long as he/she sees the end in sight. But depression is so insidious, and it compounds daily, that it's impossible to ever see the end. The darkness is like Collingwood winning a farken grand final. lol

PS, you know mate, you have a place to come up and stay, I am just a phone call away! the poet lol

Regards,

Paul

Dont worry I have never been under the illusion that they are not connected but the side of things I have been worried about are things I need not... the things that have worried me as far as health goes have all been answered as my main fault was not seeing a doctor and coming up with all the worst things in my head... this is why I was relieved I only had arthritis in my rib cage and not an alien eating its way out or cancer or???

My back pain pails compared to what John goes through and the shit you go through so I need not worry or be depressed about these things... my moto this year is "Onwards and upwards"

[PMC]

Dont worry I have never been under the illusion that they are not connected but the side of things I have been worried about are things I need not... the things that have worried me as far as health goes have all been answered as my main fault was not seeing a doctor and coming up with all the worst things in my head... this is why I was relieved I only had arthritis in my rib cage and not an alien eating its way out or cancer or???

My back pain pails compared to what John goes through and the shit you go through so I need not worry or be depressed about these things... my moto this year is "Onwards and upwards"

Good onya mate!

As previously stated, your more than welcome to come up for a stay or holiday with my family in Coffs Harbour.

Regards,

Paul

[NP99]

Also found that the vibration of 18.98 Hz can cause depression and sadness. We can't hear it but the body feels it. A lot of study has gone into this sound wave frequency. It's also what makes people see ghosts......that frequency will also shake your eyeballs slightly, enough to give an illusion.

[growler2058]

Looks like a good thing which could be copied in other work based environments. Shame it's not in every states. There's a lot more to you than just being a pisshead chili munching bogan. ;) goodonya mate. Have a well earned break & stay safe.

Hahahahahahahaha surprise I'm a responsible alcoholic :)
Being "suicide aware",it's all part of the "package" of being a HSE professional
Suicide in the construction industry is 3x higher than the national average and 6x higher for blokes under 25. We spend (as a lot do) more time everyday with our work mates than with our families so really should be able to recognize if someone a bit off. My mates lad suicided just recently (18yr old construction worker ) left a lot of grief behind. Some if these people are now using the services of MIC. The aim is for it to become an Australia wide program for our industry.

[PMC]

Also found that the vibration of 18.98 Hz can cause depression and sadness. We can't hear it but the body feels it. A lot of study has gone into this sound wave frequency. It's also what makes people see ghosts......that frequency will also shake your eyeballs slightly, enough to give an illusion.

What's this got to do with your former employment at the Arnott's biscuit factory. lol

Regards,

PMC

[Parksy]

When motivation is hard, what makes people find that motivation again? Probably a very broad and general question, but times are hard at the moment and I am starting to understand just how easy it is to fall into trap.

[Clunk]

I take a good look at my kids, usually kicks me into gear

[Bloodyaussie]

One thing is to not put pressure on yourself to be clear of the fog that can fill your head... You are grieving mate and it is normal for you to feel this way.

It can be the little things that will set you straight but be aware of how you feel and not let that control you and take out your feelings on those that least deserve it.

My 2 cents mate.....

[Parksy]

Thanks blokes. I've made some new memories with my son tonight that I'm sure he will never forget them. I had a moment to myself where I needed to deal with grief, and my 11 month old son walked up to me and started tapping me on my arm and wrapped his arms around me. I felt even more proud of him. Having kids does help!

[Smoothrun]

G'day Aussie, If youve been there before and realise it, thats a positive cos you know how to push through it, Its a bumpy rd but you got the truck to do it. (pardon the pun) The moment to get a grip passes us by so quickly when your hurtin mate, just remember theres someone at school waiting to see you everyday. If she has a smile its yours, if she doesnt give her one.

The old saying, when ya goin through hell::::: keep goin.

Respect.

[macca]

Saw this on FB the other day

47075

[Evo]

How's everyone going these days?

Evo

[jack]

How's everyone going these days?

Evo
I'm going well thanks Evo, how about yourself. How are you doing mate?

[Stropp]

im well evo, how about you? i hope you have got things under control now mate and things are looking up.

[mudnut]

Travelling, Ok, these days, thanks for asking, Evo. How are things with you, mate?

[Woof]

Had a bad day this Monday, went off my medication for 4 days.....thought that I was tough and did not need them anymore

This is my trip report on it:

Went to work on Monday in a foul mood due to being a d#ckhead for being off my meds.
Lasted 3/4 of an hour and had to leave and go home otherwise I would have most likely bashed someone.
Got home and ranted and raved to myself as my youngest son was at work.
This part is very hard for me to say but suicide did cross my mind.
Slapped myself in the face and moved away from that thought.

Went to work on Tuesday and was on edge all day until I saw my doctor in the afternoon.
Doctor ripped me a new one for not renewing my prescription before running out.

Back on medication since Tuesday night and all is good.
My depression may be a strange one as I get very aggravated and my temper goes out of control, this I think is due to loosing my wife 12 years ago to Lymphoma and there are so many lowlifes in this world that deserve what my wife had.

PLEASE PEOPLE, DO NOT GO OFF YOUR MEDICATION

Forgot to add this.................Please do not comment or click on the thanks button...........this is only a warning for others

[Family4x4]

After reading that Doggy I am glad you are back on your meds.

Im sorry to hear about your wife.

[Stropp]

hey doggy you only need to call mate even if its just to abuse me :) get it off your chest mate and yes keep up the meds until the doc decides mate i think thats where people go wrong by feeling good they think they do not need the meds but its the meds that makes them feel good so unless you go to the doc and let him decide keep on them mate.

[oncedisturbed]

Know how you feel doggy, been there myself several times.

As Stropp said, we are only a telephonkin call away

[BigRAWesty]

Hay guys.
Just touching base as I have been quiet for a while.
First up I wanna say sorry for my outburst on Faceache a while back.
You guys know who you are, I'm sorry for it, and hopefully what I write next will clarify why I had a change of emotion and pretty much snapped..

This place I call work is a great place. Pays good, works good. Over all its good..
Except for my supervisors, 2 of...
Since the start of my back injury me and another work colleague who is also in work cover have been the target for some absolutely outrageous bullying and abuse.
This has been going on for months.. Nearly everyday there in our faces bringing us down and treating us worse than you would your dog.
About a month ago we had had enough and pushed back, took it to management..
Unfortunately seeing as one of the supers (we'll call him super A) is good mates with management he got let off and the other bloke took the full brunt of our complaints.

Needless to say nothing changed with super A but the other pulled his head in, apologiesed and we're good now..

But again it all came to a head on Wednesday last week when things went to far.
Super A gave us our jobs for the day and we went on with them..
My job involved a crane lift and 3 other work colleagues for the duration of the job, one being this other work comp mate.

About an hour had passed and we're finished with the crane and plugging along in the work shop with our job and the other 2 down on the work front plugging along on that..
Super A storms in and starts loosing his shoit.. If I wrote what was said ab would probably ban me..
All 4 of us copped it even being in 2 different sections of the mill we all copped the same crap.
The mechanic who was working next to us couldn't believe what he had just witnessed...
This was the last straw. We git the union bosses out and took it to management..
This time we demanded an independent investigation and got it.
Super A has been stood down pending the outcome and everyone has been interviewed..

So due to all of the above I've been averaging 3-4 hours of sleep a night for months, and after the recent coming I got 2 hours. I've now seen my doc and been prescribed sleeping pills to try and reset my sleeping pattern.. I'm still shaking while writing this so seeing a therapist hopefully this week, and yea I'm a but of a wreck atm..

Every part of me is crossed that I never have to see that ass hole again. But I'm not sure. I'm not sure how I'll go if he remains.. Guess I'll be off if he does, which is bs because he wins...

[Stropp]

Hay guys.
Just touching base as I have been quiet for a while.
First up I wanna say sorry for my outburst on Faceache a while back.
You guys know who you are, I'm sorry for it, and hopefully what I write next will clarify why I had a change of emotion and pretty much snapped..

This place I call work is a great place. Pays good, works good. Over all its good..
Except for my supervisors, 2 of...
Since the start of my back injury me and another work colleague who is also in work cover have been the target for some absolutely outrageous bullying and abuse.
This has been going on for months.. Nearly everyday there in our faces bringing us down and treating us worse than you would your dog.
About a month ago we had had enough and pushed back, took it to management..
Unfortunately seeing as one of the supers (we'll call him super A) is good mates with management he got let off and the other bloke took the full brunt of our complaints.

Needless to say nothing changed with super A but the other pulled his head in, apologiesed and we're good now..

But again it all came to a head on Wednesday last week when things went to far.
Super A gave us our jobs for the day and we went on with them..
My job involved a crane lift and 3 other work colleagues for the duration of the job, one being this other work comp mate.

About an hour had passed and we're finished with the crane and plugging along in the work shop with our job and the other 2 down on the work front plugging along on that..
Super A storms in and starts loosing his shoit.. If I wrote what was said ab would probably ban me..
All 4 of us copped it even being in 2 different sections of the mill we all copped the same crap.
The mechanic who was working next to us couldn't believe what he had just witnessed...
This was the last straw. We git the union bosses out and took it to management..
This time we demanded an independent investigation and got it.
Super A has been stood down pending the outcome and everyone has been interviewed..

So due to all of the above I've been averaging 3-4 hours of sleep a night for months, and after the recent coming I got 2 hours. I've now seen my doc and been prescribed sleeping pills to try and reset my sleeping pattern.. I'm still shaking while writing this so seeing a therapist hopefully this week, and yea I'm a but of a wreck atm..

Every part of me is crossed that I never have to see that ass hole again. But I'm not sure. I'm not sure how I'll go if he remains.. Guess I'll be off if he does, which is bs because he wins...



Hi Kallen, mate i hope they get rid of him, its not good when people do that and it is way wrong, but with the witnesses you should be able to get rid of him.

[93patrol]

That's effed up mate. Glad the other boys got to witness what you and old mate have had to deal with and now something is being done about it.

If that still doesn't get sorted take it to the fair work tribunal and get them involved things happen and shoit gets sorted with them.

[mudnut]

There is no place for bullies in the work place. I sincerely hope you get a good outcome. Kallen.

[BigRAWesty]

Thanks guys. I bloody hope so..
Makes it hard to turn up each day when facing that crap..
Probably why I enjoyed shift so much...?

[krbrooking]

That really sux Kallen I hope he gets what coming to him. There is no room in the workplace for that crap.

Sent from me using Forum Runner

[Woof]

Hang in there Kallen, hopefully he will get his mate

[BigRAWesty]

So I hear this carnt is back tomorrow..

[93patrol]

That's crap.

Get a diary and everytime he says something to you or someone else note down the time and date and what was said so if it continues you can take it back to the union or management and show them what is being said and how often and the like.


Good luck mate hope it all works out and he doesn't talk to you anymore

[BigRAWesty]

Well I guess we'll find out tomorrow

[Clunk]

Well I guess we'll find out tomorrow

Hey man font let the bastards grind you down...... Easier said tan done I know

[Evo]

Hey guys,

Sorry it took a while to get back.
Just not into anything anymore.

Unfortunately things have been on a slow downward for a while, doesn't seem like anything will change soon.
But hey, what can you do.

Evo

[Kelvinator]

Nothin worse than shit bosses. Everybody had a bit more respect when you could drag old mate out the back of the shed to sort things out.

[MEGOMONSTER]

Nothin worse than shit bosses. Everybody had a bit more respect when you could drag old mate out the back of the shed to sort things out. Unless your horrible boss was like this. 48658 Then there might other reasons for taking them to the back of the shed to sort things out. Lol

[BigRAWesty]

Thanks guys..
And mego.. We could only wish!!



Hey guys,

Sorry it took a while to get back.
Just not into anything anymore.

Unfortunately things have been on a slow downward for a while, doesn't seem like anything will change soon.
But hey, what can you do.

Evo

Hay evo. Doesn't sound good on your end mate.
Anything specific on the down or just general?

I went to see the psychiatrist yesterday and one of the things she mentioned for a happier life was exercise.
Now I'm must say I have been a bit of a gym bunny for the last few months smashing an hour out before work. I did notice an increase in energy and was happier given the situation.

So I must agree, a stroll before work around the block, hell throw the leg over (supposedly the best exercise one can get) and you'll feel better prepared for the day ahead..

Anyway, keep that head up evo.
Everyone has good time and bad times. The trick is focusing on the right ones..

[Bloodyaussie]

The mind is a funny thing thats for sure... this year I have had my mum die my car stolen the engine went in my 4wd (all this in a 2 week period) we have been hit again and again with financial crap and I have had to give up my business for the most part due to the body giving out but in all this I have managed to stay more upbeat than I have in years.

As many know my motto of late has been "Onwards and Upwards " for the first time in many years I want nothing more than to live and enjoy the many positives.. sure it is all to easy to see the bad and in can be all consuming but you have to see past the negatives and look towards what makes you happy and make that your goal.

I want to be here for my children and for the experiences I want to share with them and my beautiful wife of over 19 years and I look forward to the many trips I want to take both here in Oz and overseas.

Yes I still get down but that is normal... if we were happy all of the time I dont think we would be human.

Anyway its a beautiful day here in Melbourne I am going outside !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[clubbyr8]

I've never really thought about having depression, I've always looked at things as a swings and roundabouts scenario. Seems to me the swing I'm on is still going backwards. I haven't worked for 4 years and there's no prospects in sight. I'm totally supported by my partner (who works from home). Centrelink is a joke, I'm not eligible for Newstart so none of the job agencies are willing to assist in finding work. I'm a Telecommunications Technician by trade, 60 years old and on the scrapheap as far as employment is concerned. Hurt my back a few years ago so labouring is pretty difficult for me to do. My last job was making the backs for bus seats.

I don't have any money to spend on the Patrol so it's basically staying stock standard. My only joy is going out one day on the weekend to somewhere we haven't been and using my camera, but even that has been crap lately. I can't seem to take a decent shot which only adds negatively to things. The week just drags, I think my swing needs a push in the other direction..... :(

[BigRAWesty]

Where are you located clubby?
Maybe a weekend out with a club is needed?

[BigRAWesty]

So its true and confirmed. I have to face this prick tomorrow..
So that has pretty much set the bar at short of killing someone your free..

[Drewboyaus]

Nothin worse than shit bosses. Everybody had a bit more respect when you could drag old mate out the back of the shed to sort things out.


Hmmm.....not sure the world needs more thuggery......

Sent from my iPhone using Forum Runner

[Stropp]

So its true and confirmed. I have to face this prick tomorrow..
So that has pretty much set the bar at short of killing someone your free..

Kallen what has the union said? surely they dont agree with this or are they just piss week and dont care.

[BigRAWesty]

No they are as pissed off as us.. But we're having meetings around midday, again bs, to discuss what's going on....

[Winnie]

Hmmm.....not sure the world needs more thuggery......

Sent from my iPhone using Forum Runner

I was assaulted by a customer last Thursday at work, he tried to return product in unsaleable condition so I was just doing my job and said I could help him out a bit but not a full credit. He did not like that and so jumped the counter and hit me, then rang my bosses and lied about it. He is saying he is going to go to consumer affairs. I said that's fine, if you do that I'll go to the police, he got mad at that because the cops know him on first name basis.
I'm not upset about the incident, shit happens. It's a small town and word gets around

[BigRAWesty]

Yea that's not cool. But the blokes got balls jumping you I'll give him that..

But what a f wit..

[Winnie]

He's a 62 year old man and is twice the size of me and a foot taller, lol. I am just a big cuddly bear and fighting is not my thing.
I just stood there and was like, really??

[Bob]

Your a Lover not a Fighter Winnie LOL
Not good though getting attacked at Work.
Hope it was only your Pride that got hurt

[Drewboyaus]

I was assaulted by a customer last Thursday at work, he tried to return product in unsaleable condition so I was just doing my job and said I could help him out a bit but not a full credit. He did not like that and so jumped the counter and hit me, then rang my bosses and lied about it. He is saying he is going to go to consumer affairs. I said that's fine, if you do that I'll go to the police, he got mad at that because the cops know him on first name basis. I'm not upset about the incident, shit happens. It's a small town and word gets around

Jeezus mate. That's garbage, you shouldn't have to put up with that kind of crap. You ought to take it to the cops anyway as it's the only way c@nts like that will ever learn......wonder if he beats his wire and/or kids too.....
Your manager should also close his account. I would if I were in his shoes. I wouldn't want people like that in my branch.
Unbelievable!

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[macca]

Jeezus mate. That's garbage, you shouldn't have to put up with that kind of crap. You ought to take it to the cops anyway as it's the only way c@nts like that will ever learn......wonder if he beats his wire and/or kids too.....
Your manager should also close his account. I would if I were in his shoes. I wouldn't want people like that in my branch.
Unbelievable!


Was thinking exactly the same

[jack]

Agree with Drew & Macca, probably not the first time he's done that. Get away with once and to him it becomes acceptable behavior, it's not on Winnie- you should go to the Police.

[Winnie]

Your a Lover not a Fighter Winnie LOL
Not good though getting attacked at Work.
Hope it was only your Pride that got hurt
It was his pride that was hurt Bob, as I said everyone in town and even all the way to Bairnsdale are talking about what a scumbag he is... hahah!


Jeezus mate. That's garbage, you shouldn't have to put up with that kind of crap. You ought to take it to the cops anyway as it's the only way c@nts like that will ever learn......wonder if he beats his wire and/or kids too.....
Your manager should also close his account. I would if I were in his shoes. I wouldn't want people like that in my branch.
Unbelievable!

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Of course mate. He used to have an account (payment issues) so it was closed anyway. He has been trading under a cash account but now that is closed too. Cops were called (the manger's duty of care) but I did not press charges, I don't have time to go to court etc...
He is banned from every one of our branches Australia wide.

[macca]

Good to hear your boss backed you.
This bloke has real issues as you know first hand.
He needs to be taken to task, understand your position Winnie.
These people feed off that unfortunately, the law should be able to act without your input.
Hope the other wholesalers come on board with your company and send the message that way.

[NP99]

Assault is a disgusting low act.....grubs like this should not be allowed to share our streets. Mate, you have your reasons for not pressing charges, but by not laying them, his grub like behaviour is allowed to continue. United we stand divided we fall.

[Maxhead]

I would have given him a good royal flogging, after all it was self defense. The bigger they are the harder they fall:)

[Woof]

Hey guys,

Sorry it took a while to get back.
Just not into anything anymore.

Unfortunately things have been on a slow downward for a while, doesn't seem like anything will change soon.
But hey, what can you do.

Evo
Hey Evo, why not join us on the September long weekend down at Dwelly, mainly just chilling out with good people mate

[Evo]

Hey Evo, why not join us on the September long weekend down at Dwelly, mainly just chilling out with good people mate

Hey bud.

Depending how things go, I might be able to make a day trip down.
Not going to hold my breath on that one though.

Evo

[NP99]

A good read.....

http://www.abc.net.au/health/features/stories/2014/09/18/4087816.htm

http://www.abc.net.au/health/features/stories/2013/06/13/3781044.htm

[Drewboyaus]

Today has been a very tough day. Many of you who know me in "the real world" know that my lymphoma has unfortunately returned after 15-16 months in remission.
For the last week or so I've had no medical appointments or contact to raise my blood pressure. I've been able to live in a relative state of normality, something for which I am very jealous of the rest of the population. Today though, I've had to undergo a needle biopsy to confirm what is happening. This has brought to the surface all the lingering doubts and insecurities of my predicament. Quite simply it has made me quite sad.....am I depressed? I don't think so but I am currently on a wave of deep sadness as I reflect on what might happen to me in the future. And what of my wife and kids?
It's bloody hard to talk about (even with those closest to me) so I thought I'd write something down and I'm sorry you guys have had to read it but it's the only way I seem to be able to express myself. Many are doing the right thing to support me but sometimes I just can't do the whole "positive" mindset, the stiff upper lip, I'm not quite there in my own mind yet but will get to that state of mind soon enough. Just not today.
Really, I'm sad because I just want my health back......that's all.

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[Bob]

Really, I'm sad because I just want my health back......that's all.

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If I could give your health back I would.
Try to keep up your spirits

[Drewboyaus]

If I could give your health back I would. Try to keep up your spirits

Thanks Bob. Just having a bad day mate and needed to vent a little

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[liftlid]

Thanks Bob. Just having a bad day mate and needed to vent a little

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Any time you need to vent do it
Not every day is a happy day
Don't forget your family will be just as scared as you are, you will possibly come to terms with what's happening easier than your loved ones will.

[Bloodyaussie]

Yell out mate..... I'll come running!!!!!

[Stropp]

hey mate, i cannot for a minute understand what you are feeling or going thru but i know if it was me i would probably be similar to you, if you need a break and can get to this side of the country there is a bed for you and the family mate. Keep the positive thoughts and i hope things work out for you.

[Hodge]

Was just over at BA's, he mentioned what's happening Drew. Not good, but you'll kick that c*** of a thing in the nuts again mate for good!
It definitely helps to let it out... Even if it means keyboard bashing a few sentences together to let a few others know what's happening.

[threedogs]

Venting is good never bottle it up, always someone here to lend and ear,
PM sent, as I said only 12 mins away

[Drewboyaus]

Yell out mate..... I'll come running!!!!!

It will be a good week next week mate.

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[growler2058]

Mate I'm sad with/for you Drew. Plenty of positive thoughts coming to you from my way. Stay strong brother.

[Cuppa]

Bummer...... but you can only do one day at a time. Bed here if you want a day or two out of the city without having to go too far.

[Rossco]

All the best Drew my thoughts have been are are with you with this truly s#!t thing. You've got a bloody good attitude towards it but at the end of the day we're all human and can't stay strong all the time. Hope tomorrow's a better day for ya mate.

[Winnie]

Sorry drew I don't know what to say. We all love you mate and will help you through this obstacle in your life.

[AB]

Can't imagine what your going through mate but all I can say is chin up and feel free to bounce off us here anytime for support Drew, you've made some great friends here who will always be there if need be mate!!!

[Drewboyaus]

Thanks guys for your kind words.....I might just take you up on some of those offers. I'm still adjusting to a new set of circumstances and I wrote that while recovering in the hospital from my biopsy procedure and was at a particularly low ebb.
The whole situation is wrong on so many levels even apart from the obvious. I'm fitter and healthier than I've been in years, just had a great promotion at work, I'm feeling great with no symptoms, just bizarre......

But Rossco you are right mate, tomorrow will be a better day.......and my arse still points to the ground.....

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[Maxhead]

Shit Drew mate, you've killed this thing before and knowing you and your strengths I know you will kill this beast again.
We are all behind you mate!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[krbrooking]

Man I can't imagine what you and your family must be going through. Don't ever be sorry for venting something like this in here mate that is why we are here and the whole reason this thread was created. My best wishes and prayers go out to you and your family. I am sure soon enough you will kick the s¥EUR£ out of it and be back on track.

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[Woof]

Drew if you ever need to vent mate this is the place to do it, or PM any of us here, I know what you are going through mate.
People always say "stay positive", the reason is that they really do not know what else to say at times like this.

[Sir Roofy]

If you need to vent then do it mate if you want to talk just call me

[mudski]

Drew if you ever need to vent mate this is the place to do it, or PM any of us here, I know what you are going through mate.
People always say "stay positive", the reason is that they really do not know what else to say at times like this.

Exactly. I am speechless! What does one say? All the best and fight this mofo with everything you got. Shit like this shouldn't happen to good people like you.

[BigRAWesty]

Never stew on thoughts drew, get it out mate..
Come for a drive mate. We're only 4 from ya, the girls will enjoy it.
Bring the tent mate and pull up stumps in the backyard

[mudnut]

I was knocked for six, when I read your post, Drew. Know that I am thinking of you and your family as you dig in for the fight. If you need to rage at someone, PM me.

[TPC]

Keep thinking positive Drew, I honestly believe that helps your body to fight.

[NP99]

Keep thinking positive Drew, I honestly believe that helps your body to fight.

It sure does....

[Avo]

don't know what to say....apart from wish you all the best and hope you and your family get through this mate.

[Family4x4]

At least no one asked you to pay for their damaged lawn today!

Please excuse my lame attempt at a joke Drew trying to make you laugh.

This is shocking news and my family and I wish you and your family all the best.

[Drewboyaus]

At least no one asked you to pay for their damaged lawn today! Please excuse my lame attempt at a joke Drew trying to make you laugh. This is shocking news and my family and I wish you and your family all the best.

You did! Thanks.

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[NP99]

This video is a great pick me up.....

http://www.abc.net.au/news/2014-09-24/inspirational-high-school-football-speech-apollos-hester/5766878

[Alitis007]

As been said before Drew best wishes mate! Just try and remember you're always in the middle, there's always someone better and someone worse off than you. Your lucky enough to have a loving family with children who look up and are inspired by you and friends, new and old who will lend a shoulder or ear or kick in the pants if you need (lol) so try not to feel down mate, its just another one of life's challenges to make you a better person. Chin up! And you'll get there eventually, no matter how long it takes you'll be right champ ! If you need anything, yell out or even come past Alcatraz coz i'm always here even if you want to chew the fat :D

[Cuppa]

Here’s another ‘pick me up’ for anyone who’s feeling down ...... well that’s how I experienced it anyway .... a bit different to NP’s

http://www.youtube.com/embed/uaWA2GbcnJU (https://www.youtube.com/embed/uaWA2GbcnJU)

[NP99]

Here’s another ‘pick me up’ for anyone who’s feeling down ...... well that’s how I experienced it anyway .... a bit different to NP’s

http://www.youtube.com/embed/uaWA2GbcnJU (https://www.youtube.com/embed/uaWA2GbcnJU)

You can't help but feel good when doing good in SE Asia. I've had some weird looks helping elderly locals in Vietnam, I guess its not what they expect a boofhead to do :)

[93patrol]

https://m.facebook.com/290611141314/photos/a.381900586314.165141.290611141314/10152288624416315/?type=1&source=48 This is Ben Quilty he is a painter and was asked by the ADF to head over to Afghanistan and paint the soldiers and what it's like over there. When he came back he has hung around a lot of the old diggers and has done a lot of paintings for the national gallery. He's a rockingham local and is family friends if my wife's parents. His parents spend a lot of time in SE Asia helping out orphans and building schools and the like. I thought I would post this up because it hits home about depression and how people deal with it. Please read what underneath under the painting Cheers Shane

This was uploaded from my mobile phone

[NP99]

https://m.facebook.com/290611141314/photos/a.381900586314.165141.290611141314/10152288624416315/?type=1&source=48 This is Ben Quilty he is a painter and was asked by the ADF to head over to Afghanistan and paint the soldiers and what it's like over there. When he came back he has hung around a lot of the old diggers and has done a lot of paintings for the national gallery. He's a rockingham local and is family friends if my wife's parents. His parents spend a lot of time in SE Asia helping out orphans and building schools and the like. I thought I would post this up because it hits home about depression and how people deal with it. Please read what underneath under the painting Cheers Shane

This was uploaded from my mobile phone

Those kids in SE Asia will melt your heart......they sell a lot of trinkets in the bars over there, I enjoy the price haggle with them, get them as low as I can get, then shake on the deal and pay double the original price.

[Stropp]

well sad to say but another old work colleague from the mining days up north has taken his life yesterday and left behind very distraught children, he had split up with his wife some years ago and last i saw him he was struggling as you do but its very upsetting to once again have to attend a funeral of an old mate :(

[krbrooking]

So sorry to here mate. Suicide is one of the worst things to experience, so many in answered questions. All the best to those left behind.



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[mudnut]

Very sorry to hear that, Stropp. They don't realise the long-lasting and sometimes devastating effect their action has on the people they leave behind.

[Stropp]

yes every time it happens those who really need help still do not reach out.

[BigRAWesty]

Never nice to hear.
Thoughts with the family that's for sure.
The big problem here is it'll get swept under the carpet. The big businesses will blame his personal life.
When really the hours they push for is sometimes unrealistic and very hard to maintain.

[Bloodyaussie]

Been tough of late dealing with all the issues of this year that seem to be compounding and getting very heavy on my chest.... does not help when some make idiotic comments and offer stupid advise that makes as much sense as an ashtray on a motorbike.

Yeah I have a sook but it is part of my coping method and the pom in me but its also out of shear frustration with the situation.

Something has to give as the strain is really starting to show on both my wife and myself.... f$£k this stupid car and f$%k the baggage associated with my mum........ going shooting tonight with some bloody good mates and hope that picks me up..!!!!

I seem to have given up on my years motto??

[Family4x4]

Keep pushing through the shit Johno.

[2TROLLFAM]

As Dori would say "just keep swimming, swimming, swimming"

2014 has got to be one of the worst years for nearly everyone I know. Dearh, distruction, illness, unexpected expenses etc etc

And it's tough but having been to the depths of despair and back again I know you guys can get through it. I'm so glad to see how many of you share your darkness here - you need to let it out and learn to move on from it in a positive way which is b£#% hardest thing to learn

In the end I had a fantastic therapist who got me over the line. What he taught me, broken down to basics was : the past is gone, you can NOT change it, some things in your here & now you can't change because it just is what it is. Don't sweat the small stuff and recognise what you can't change and then don't sweat it (easy said - hard to learn & do) work through it but don't allow it to consume you.

Earlier in the year I MASSIVE financial issues & had no idea what I was going to do but I joined MYBUDGET and in the small amount of time from April to now my $$$ are sorted, I'm on a strict budget but every bill is paid on time & there's even a stock pile ready for xmas :)

Would highly recommend it as did friends of mine to me.

I wish everyone all the best and please don't give up on yourselves

xXx

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[mudnut]

That would partly be my fault with the sell you Q to NN post, BA. Do you know how hard it is to be sitting here, isolated at my place, reading about you and other members having troubles? I can't be there to help you, which I would do in the blink of an eye.

[Clunk]

Been tough of late dealing with all the issues of this year that seem to be compounding and getting very heavy on my chest.... does not help when some make idiotic comments and offer stupid advise that makes as much sense as an ashtray on a motorbike.

Yeah I have a sook but it is part of my coping method and the pom in me but its also out of shear frustration with the situation.

Something has to give as the strain is really starting to show on both my wife and myself.... f$£k this stupid car and f$%k the baggage associated with my mum........ going shooting tonight with some bloody good mates and hope that picks me up..!!!!

I seem to have given up on my years motto??

Cheer up Jonno, things will get sorted in time mate...... and don't forget you and the tribe are always welcome over here if a break is ever needed and also so I can kick you in the nuts for being a dick :p:D

[Rossco]

Yeah really sux with the run of luck with the bloody motor, but awesome job so far its so close now. If you ever need a hand more than happy to help, no expert but can do what I can.
Have a good trip we all need a refresher.

The years not over yet don't give up on that motto just yet, it will get there you deserve to enjoy it:)

[Stropp]

hey mate, i know how hard it can be but as the others have said, keep pushing on mate and it does sound like you are so close with the patrol mate, keep plugging away and you will get there and as clunk says, always a bed over here in wa if you need a break.

[mudnut]

Well. It looks like I am A) In BA's bad books.
B) He misunderstood my post which meant: I would come and give you a hand if it was possible.
C) In BA's bad books.

That is a big problem with posting on a forum, as it is easy to get the wrong end of the stick.

As I have posted on your build thread, Jonathan, I wouldn't have had the patience to do a conversion and work through all the problems you have encountered. You are so close to having the vehicle you deserve.
I have the bad habit of looking at the bad things and letting them get on top of me too. I need to learn to tackle all problems one step at a time. Heres's to a timely success.

[Bloodyaussie]

Craig you are not in my bad books you paranoid nut.... could not be further from the truth mate !!!!!!

Cheers guys... waiting to head off shooting and keeping my mind busy with that has kept me from thinking about my car... until a few minutes ago I walked past it and my mind strayed back...blah!!!

Tonight should be very good therapy !!!!

[mudnut]

" you paranoid nut "

Hence the name mudnut ...:1087:

[nissannewby]

Like rossco said mate you are doing an awesome job. It's easy to look at what's not going your way. However keep in mind how much you have learnt from this, not just mechanically, but how many people are willing to help a good bloke like yourself out. Also all the info you have now supplied to those who will tackle this in the future not just with the td42 but also the info that has come about with your petrol motor as well.

Enjoy your weekend mate and remember there are plenty of us willing to help. You have my number bloke don't be scared to use it.

[AB]

Like rossco said mate you are doing an awesome job. It's easy to look at what's not going your way. However keep in mind how much you have learnt from this, not just mechanically, but how many people are willing to help a good bloke like yourself out. Also all the info you have now supplied to those who will tackle this in the future not just with the td42 but also the info that has come about with your petrol motor as well.

Enjoy your weekend mate and remember there are plenty of us willing to help. You have my number bloke don't be scared to use it.

You've become emotional now that you're a father ;)

[nissannewby]

You've become emotional now that you're a father ;)

Haha. Your going the right way for a slap you hot pant wearing girly man :p

[AB]

Haha. Your going the right way for a slap you hot pant wearing girly man :p

That's better...

[Maxhead]

Look after yourselves blokes!

[Ben-e-boy]

Haha. Your going the right way to get slapped by a hot pant wearing girly man :p

You've changed man...

[Bloodyaussie]

Like rossco said mate you are doing an awesome job. It's easy to look at what's not going your way. However keep in mind how much you have learnt from this, not just mechanically, but how many people are willing to help a good bloke like yourself out. Also all the info you have now supplied to those who will tackle this in the future not just with the td42 but also the info that has come about with your petrol motor as well.

Enjoy your weekend mate and remember there are plenty of us willing to help. You have my number bloke don't be scared to use it.

Mate I have not wanted to bother you at this stage as you have a bit going on...

Last night was a highlight and has helped heaps. .. cannot wait to get out again.

[Bloodyaussie]

Constantly getting called a winger mostly in jest but some that are nasty about it.... getting sick of it !!!!!

I grew up dirt poor and in the worst parts of this country with guns stabbings people beaten to death robbery drugs ...... I am proud that I made it through all that and have 2 brilliant kids and the most loving wife..

Yes i carry on but it far better than where I was heading before I met Mags.... so back off and dont tell me to take it easy princess !!!!!

[Winnie]

Who was it, let me at 'em!

[rusty_nail]

Constantly getting called a winger mostly in jest but some that are nasty about it.... getting sick of it !!!!!

I grew up dirt poor and in the worst parts of this country with guns stabbings people beaten to death robbery drugs ...... I am proud that I made it through all that and have 2 brilliant kids and the most loving wife..

Yes i carry on but it far better than where I was heading before I met Mags.... so back off and dont tell me to take it easy princess !!!!!

more dribble... and you say im bad?

but in all seriousness, your a top bloke and you have done well for yourself, i mean you are punching way above your weight with your missus, your kids are super cool and you are ok yourself. keep on keeping on mate, its people like you who give me motivation to get outta bed in the morning =D

[TPC]

Constantly getting called a winger mostly in jest but some that are nasty about it.... getting sick of it !!!!!

I grew up dirt poor and in the worst parts of this country with guns stabbings people beaten to death robbery drugs ...... I am proud that I made it through all that and have 2 brilliant kids and the most loving wife..

Yes i carry on but it far better than where I was heading before I met Mags.... so back off and dont tell me to take it easy princess !!!!!

Hope it wasn't me, don't think I have given you a hard time on here in a while as I have seen how much shit you are going through.
I would hope nobody on here would mean to be nasty with comments, this place should always be friendly.

I just read how you have your car going again which is great news, had not looked on your Patrol thread for a while as I am mechanically challenged so had nothing to offer except stupid comments and it became obvious that your thread needed to be kept to serious advise on how to sort the problems.

Keep smiling and ignore the unwanted comments if you can.

[growler2058]

Sounds like someone shoulda got a LoKKa

[krbrooking]

Constantly getting called a winger mostly in jest but some that are nasty about it.... getting sick of it !!!!! I grew up dirt poor and in the worst parts of this country with guns stabbings people beaten to death robbery drugs ...... I am proud that I made it through all that and have 2 brilliant kids and the most loving wife.. Yes i carry on but it far better than where I was heading before I met Mags.... so back off and dont tell me to take it easy princess !!!!!

Mate after all you and your family have been through this year and you are still able to get up every morning and put a smile on your face, is a credit to your character and the kind of person you are a lot of other ppl would not be still standing as tall as you.

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[TheFlyingBadger]

Just a reminder for anyone who's in the golden west that the Western Patrol Club have a guest speaker from Beyond Blue (www.beyondblue.org.au) at their meeting tonight. Christmas (and the run up to it) are some of the toughest times of the year for people who suffer from depression (speaking from personal experience as well as what the stats apparently say), I'm not sure what tonight's talk is going to cover - but if it even helps 1 person by 1% then it's been a worthwhile exercise.

Meeting is at 7:00 at Belmont Sports & Rec Club, corner of Abernethy Rd and Keane St (https://maps.google.com.au/maps?q=-31.969648,115.943034&ll=-31.968274,115.945458&spn=0.005789,0.011319&num=1&t=h&z=17). Get there early so that we can all talk crap in the car park.

[mudnut]

It is now 18 years since I sustained my work related injury (upper spinal injury). 15 years ago I was sacked because of the injury and other health issues brought on by the situation.

After an initial phase, I made the decision not to fight for workers comp as I witnessed the devastating effect the system had on a co-worker and his family. He eventually won his case, but the price he paid, in my opinion was far too great. I was also in a bad state of mind then as well.

I am so very blessed to still have my family after all I have put them through.

I know many spouses would have been unable to stay, in such terrible circumstances and I am taking this opportunity to to thank my loving wife.

There are so many of you that are battling far worse things than me. Please believe me that my thoughts are with you and I wish you all the best in turning your struggle into victory.

This forum has been an absolute godsend, as all the friends I have made in this area have been forced to move away because of lack of employment or failing health. I have met so many good people here and the forum has kick started a new social life, albeit an electronic one.

[threedogs]

@ MN I completely understand the heart ache and frustration an injury can have not only on your self but your wife and children as well.
My youngest son is having his first fight tomorrow and I have not lifted him up once as a baby and that plays on my mind a lot.
Not going to try it now the bugger weighs in at 93kg lol.
For those with an injury feel free to PM as often as you like I've been going through this shite since Sept 18 1991.
I still feel let down by the system, and as some of you know you are only a number.
Not once has any one from the insurance Co rang and said "How are you today John can we do anything to help"
Yeah right thats gunna happen, No point whinging cause after so long it all falls on deaf ears, none of your mates call any more etc.
I've always been a loner so it looks like it will stay that way.
As for the back I'm putting up with it until I can see the surgeon about what we can do next if nothing I will be devastated, but
I'll cross that bridge when I get to it, rant over for now but better for it

[mudnut]

I could rage for a long time about the system and how it degrades the injured worker. The insurance companies have a duty of care, but they are in the business to make a profit.

[growler2058]

Feel a bit better today after a co-worker died at work Thursday. I've till got his dead eyes in my head whenever I think about what happened. Will be chatting to a councillor Monday I think

[Woof]

Feel a bit better today after a co-worker died at work Thursday. I've till got his dead eyes in my head whenever I think about what happened. Will be chatting to a councillor Monday I think

Don't think about it mate, do it

[TPC]

As doggy said, just do it, talking helps.

[93patrol]

Chin up growler.

Talking to a counsellor or even a mate is the best help you can get mate. And not to mention we are here as well.

Same goes for everyone on here

[oncedisturbed]

With all the crap going on with my back and being shafted, treated like dirt from the employer and insurance, not making things easy or pleasant at the moment as it looks like I will be out of a job and also lose the patrol.

To top it off, my ex father in law (we were both very close regardless of splitting up with his daughter 14yrs ago), was given 2-3 months left due to a rapid cancer, passed away 24hrs later, just after lunch today, has not made things any easier.

Have never met a more kind or steadfast man (besides my own pop before he passed) who was my sons inspiration and rock to take up soccer.

As others have said, everyone at some point, needs an ear to bend or shoulder to lean upon, for those who are unsure, take that 1st step as the following steps become easier to cope over time.

[Clunk]

Struggling with motivation today after a huge flare up yesterday, pain killers and anti inflammatorys not working........ tomorrow will be a better day

[growler2058]

What have you done to yourself clunky?

[growler2058]

Chin up growler.

Talking to a counsellor or even a mate is the best help you can get mate. And not to mention we are here as well.

Same goes for everyone on here

Had a mate from work over today working on his Mav. Chatted about it and felt good, no sadness at all

[taslucas]

Had a mate from work over today working on his Mav. Chatted about it and felt good, no sadness at all

Ofcourse not, they're basically a gq!




Just kidding mate, that's good to hear :-)

[Clunk]

What have you done to yourself clunky?
nowt mate, just the A.S. givin it loads

[93patrol]

With all the crap going on with my back and being shafted, treated like dirt from the employer and insurance, not making things easy or pleasant at the moment as it looks like I will be out of a job and also lose the patrol. To top it off, my ex father in law (we were both very close regardless of splitting up with his daughter 14yrs ago), was given 2-3 months left due to a rapid cancer, passed away 24hrs later, just after lunch today, has not made things any easier. Have never met a more kind or steadfast man (besides my own pop before he passed) who was my sons inspiration and rock to take up soccer. As others have said, everyone at some point, needs an ear to bend or shoulder to lean upon, for those who are unsure, take that 1st step as the following steps become easier to cope over time.

Sorry to hear that OD. It's amazing the people you connect with. All the best mate and if you need a chat just let me know.

[cgm]

It is now 18 years since I sustained my work related injury (upper spinal injury). 15 years ago I was sacked because of the injury and other health issues brought on by the situation.

After an initial phase, I made the decision not to fight for workers comp as I witnessed the devastating effect the system had on a co-worker and his family. He eventually won his case, but the price he paid, in my opinion was far too great. I was also in a bad state of mind then as well.

I am so very blessed to still have my family after all I have put them through.

I know many spouses would have been unable to stay, in such terrible circumstances and I am taking this opportunity to to thank my loving wife.

There are so many of you that are battling far worse things than me. Please believe me that my thoughts are with you and I wish you all the best in turning your struggle into victory.

This forum has been an absolute godsend, as all the friends I have made in this area have been forced to move away because of lack of employment or failing health. I have met so many good people here and the forum has kick started a new social life, albeit an electronic one.

Mudnut, it's definitely good that you are feeling at home here. I don't post too much here, but I read a lot and I keep noticing how you always seem to be positive or at least looking for the positive. It always encourages me. Maybe you don't always feel that way, but that's the way it seems to come across to me.

And as for those birds and their nest - spoilt rotten. :) Good to have you around.

[mudnut]

Aww, shucks. Thanks mate. I'm not just at home, I'm addicted. :)

[Gecko17]

Was feeling a bit down today as, in a fit of madness and stupidity, I volunteered to work another swing, at a different site, over Christmas. Never been big on Christmas but will miss seeing my daughter who has been excited for weeks....

But after seeing what you other guys have/are going through, I quickly realise I have fark all to whinge about.

Merry Christmas all.

[Stropp]

well done gecko mate of mine does that as he is single so lets the other married blokes on the rig go home

[oncedisturbed]

Had my case hearing monday for my back, well and truly being shafted by the other side. Like others, not something we really need coming upto xmas as it is putting huge strain on the mrs and me.

We are making sure as hell munchkin has a good xmas as it isnt fair that he misses out due to the actions of others.

Hardest part is finding out that the "quack" the other side is relying on has had several civil suits against him from 97-08 and not caring about the impact it is having.

[threedogs]

No good mate that sucks big ones,
You can also see your local member if you feel you're being shafted,
well shafted more than usual.
You can always ask for another Doctor of their choice if this one is shoddy

[Stropp]

Had my case hearing monday for my back, well and truly being shafted by the other side. Like others, not something we really need coming upto xmas as it is putting huge strain on the mrs and me.

We are making sure as hell munchkin has a good xmas as it isnt fair that he misses out due to the actions of others.

Hardest part is finding out that the "quack" the other side is relying on has had several civil suits against him from 97-08 and not caring about the impact it is having.

not good to hear mate, things are bad enough without the problems associated with fighting your employer, hope things turn for the better.

[krbrooking]

Had my case hearing monday for my back, well and truly being shafted by the other side. Like others, not something we really need coming upto xmas as it is putting huge strain on the mrs and me. We are making sure as hell munchkin has a good xmas as it isnt fair that he misses out due to the actions of others. Hardest part is finding out that the "quack" the other side is relying on has had several civil suits against him from 97-08 and not caring about the impact it is having.

Mate that really sux, it is so disappointing to hear how these p!/$(s can get away with it. There should be no grey area if you are injured at work, they should be forced to pay x for y injury no questions asked, no courts nothing, just pay or the government should re posses assets to the value of the injury. It's bad enough that you have to deal with the injury. I really hope this works out for you.

[krbrooking]

Not so much depressed but really dejected atmo. My wife's grandfather past away last night from a nearly 9 yr battle with lukheamia. I really feel for her mum's family at the moment as only a few months ago Tan's mum's brother in law committed suicide. Then around a 3weeks ago the brother had a stroke and nearly died but is now brain damaged and still in a pretty serious condition as he has blood clots in his neck that they can't really operate on as it could kill him and the medication to thin his blood is not really working either and now this with the grandfather. The thing that tops it off is that Tan and her mum had planned to go down and see the grandfather today and pretty much say their goodby's and he didn't make it through the night. I know how I felt when my grandfather past and I was not able to say goodby as he was in Africa and I was hear and had not seen him in over 12 years, I was not able to go over with my parents when they went over to say goodby when went down hill with testicular cancer and he past not long after they left.
So ppl if you have the chance to say goodby do not hesitate make sure you do at any cost.

[Stropp]

Not so much depressed but really dejected atmo. My wife's grandfather past away last night from a nearly 9 yr battle with lukheamia. I really feel for her mum's family at the moment as only a few months ago Tan's mum's brother in law committed suicide. Then around a 3weeks ago the brother had a stroke and nearly died but is now brain damaged and still in a pretty serious condition as he has blood clots in his neck that they can't really operate on as it could kill him and the medication to thin his blood is not really working either and now this with the grandfather. The thing that tops it off is that Tan and her mum had planned to go down and see the grandfather today and pretty much say their goodby's and he didn't make it through the night. I know how I felt when my grandfather past and I was not able to say goodby as he was in Africa and I was hear and had not seen him in over 12 years, I was not able to go over with my parents when they went over to say goodby when went down hill with testicular cancer and he past not long after they left.
So ppl if you have the chance to say goodby do not hesitate make sure you do at any cost.



My condolences to you and your wife mate, yes totally agree, get in while you can no matter what you need to make time as they can go sooner than you think, same thing happened to me with a mate one time, went and seen him and said i would drop in on the way back to the airport and was running late and he died that night :(

[BigRAWesty]

Not so much depressed but really dejected atmo. My wife's grandfather past away last night from a nearly 9 yr battle with lukheamia. I really feel for her mum's family at the moment as only a few months ago Tan's mum's brother in law committed suicide. Then around a 3weeks ago the brother had a stroke and nearly died but is now brain damaged and still in a pretty serious condition as he has blood clots in his neck that they can't really operate on as it could kill him and the medication to thin his blood is not really working either and now this with the grandfather. The thing that tops it off is that Tan and her mum had planned to go down and see the grandfather today and pretty much say their goodby's and he didn't make it through the night. I know how I felt when my grandfather past and I was not able to say goodby as he was in Africa and I was hear and had not seen him in over 12 years, I was not able to go over with my parents when they went over to say goodby when went down hill with testicular cancer and he past not long after they left.
So ppl if you have the chance to say goodby do not hesitate make sure you do at any cost.

Never a nice thing to happen.
Condolences to everyone.

[krbrooking]

Thanks everyone. I also found out today that the poor grandmother suffered a heart attack when she got the news. She is till in hospital but seems to be ok. Thanks goodness.

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[Stropp]

Thanks everyone. I also found out today that the poor grandmother suffered a heart attack when she got the news. She is till in hospital but seems to be ok. Thanks goodness.

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gee mate you are not having any luck, lets hope things pick up from here.

[Gecko17]

Ok, If I haven't said this before, I'm gonna say it now.... If any of you feel depressed and need to talk... FFS do it! Pick up that phone or go see someone and talk. A true friend will listen, regardless of time or place! If you feel you don't have anyone you can talk to, use one of the government sponsored phone lines. If all else fails, phone me! (Please tell me who you are and why you are calling though...) I am sick of losing friends to suicide! Another friend lost yesterday, way before his time and left a bewildered wife and teenaged boys wondering why....

[Stropp]

Ok, If I haven't said this before, I'm gonna say it now.... If any of you feel depressed and need to talk... FFS do it! Pick up that phone or go see someone and talk. A true friend will listen, regardless of time or place! If you feel you don't have anyone you can talk to, use one of the government sponsored phone lines. If all else fails, phone me! (Please tell me who you are and why you are calling though...) I am sick of losing friends to suicide! Another friend lost yesterday, way before his time and left a bewildered wife and teenaged boys wondering why....

sorry to hear that mate, i have posted basically the same on here and fb, i like you have lost too many to this sickening disease and one is too many :(

[growler2058]

Ok, If I haven't said this before, I'm gonna say it now.... If any of you feel depressed and need to talk... FFS do it! Pick up that phone or go see someone and talk. A true friend will listen, regardless of time or place! If you feel you don't have anyone you can talk to, use one of the government sponsored phone lines. If all else fails, phone me! (Please tell me who you are and why you are calling though...) I am sick of losing friends to suicide! Another friend lost yesterday, way before his time and left a bewildered wife and teenaged boys wondering why....


No good mate sorry to hear.

They don't realise how many people are affected by their death. Very sad

[Gecko17]

Missed another birthday for my daughter.... 4th time in a row, due to working away and still another 3 weeks of this stint to go.... sometimes being the major bread winner sucks.

[Family4x4]

This morning I learned of a friend from my teenage / early adulthood life overdosed and died in his car this morning in Melbourne. I find it particularly sad that he died alone on a dark rainy night at the young age of 37.

He had been offered help and was not long out of rehab but for what ever reason he was not ready or able to make different lifestyle choices. He was also not afforded something that a lot of us take for granted and that was a strong family unit. This does not give reasons for his choices or an excuse but I know it helped guide his decisions.


I hope he finds peace.

[Bloodyaussie]

You know you can call me Sean if you want to talk... got dentist at 4.45pm but before or after mate.

[BigRAWesty]

That very sad.
I cannot stress enough if anyone needs to chat open up here. There is usually someone listening.

[Stropp]

This morning I learned of a friend from my teenage / early adulthood life overdosed and died in his car this morning in Melbourne. I find it particularly sad that he died alone on a dark rainy night at the young age of 37.

He had been offered help and was not long out of rehab but for what ever reason he was not ready or able to make different lifestyle choices. He was also not afforded something that a lot of us take for granted and that was a strong family unit. This does not give reasons for his choices or an excuse but I know it helped guide his decisions.


I hope he finds peace.

Sorry to hear that mate, hope you are ok.

[Cuppa]

Please consider signing this petition if you haven’t already. Shame it only focusses on Qld, same issues country-wide. This is in the spotlight right now following coverage on ABC Tv.

https://www.change.org/p/qld-health-my-son-s-suicide-could-have-been-avoided-stop-turning-away-mental-health-patients

Cuppa

[krbrooking]

So sorry to hear about your mate. Family4x4. This sort of thing is getting more and more regular.

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[Evo]

Hey all,

Just checking in as I have been in and out for a while...

How is everyone travelling?

Evo

[BigRAWesty]

Hey all, Just checking in as I have been in and out for a while... How is everyone travelling? Evo

Good mate. And yourself?

[threedogs]

Yeah Evo all good this end thanks for asking,
How is it at your end???

[Evo]

Good to hear.

Aside from the issues with the Patrol (which isn't helping in itself), not the best unfortunately.
Things really haven't looked up much, but I guess I just hide it when I have to brave the world or talk to people...
Having time on your hands to procrastinate is not a good thing.
Not being able to sleep because your mind won't stop racing isn't good either.

Evo

[BigRAWesty]

Good to hear. Aside from the issues with the Patrol (which isn't helping in itself), not the best unfortunately. Things really haven't looked up much, but I guess I just hide it when I have to brave the world or talk to people... Having time on your hands to procrastinate is not a good thing. Not being able to sleep because your mind won't stop racing isn't good either. Evo

I went threw that mate while going threw some pretty bad times at work.
Do yourself a favour and see the docs and get a round of sleeping pills to reboot the system. It made a huge difference for me bloke, only a week. But a week of good sleep made a big difference.

[Stropp]

once again too close to home :( one of my installers twin brother tried to hang himself thursday night but was found by his wife but he has been in an induced coma hoping he would be ok but unfortunately he is brain dead so they now need to make the decision to turn of his life support, it would be hard enough without having to go through that. Guys and Girls please talk to someone if life is getting you down.

[BigRAWesty]

once again too close to home :( one of my installers twin brother tried to hang himself thursday night but was found by his wife but he has been in an induced coma hoping he would be ok but unfortunately he is brain dead so they now need to make the decision to turn of his life support, it would be hard enough without having to go through that. Guys and Girls please talk to someone if life is getting you down.

shit mate that is devastating.. please pass on deepest sympathies to all the family mate.. bloody gut wrenching

[Stropp]

They have turned off his life support and he has passed away :(

[BigRAWesty]

They have turned off his life support and he has passed away :(

.......... Don't know what to say bloke.

Pass on our regards.

[krbrooking]

So sorry to hear mate. Best wishes and regards to everyone around him.

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[Family4x4]

Thats terrible Stropp, it is very sad, roughly how old was he?

[macca]

So sad to read of another loss, for a relatively small number of people who are members here there is a lot of these terrible losses that are relayed to us.

Just awful for everyone.

They may have found peace, but what have they left?

My condolences to the families and friends.

[Stropp]

Thats terrible Stropp, it is very sad, roughly how old was he?

Hi mate 43, far too young

[threedogs]

They have turned off his life support and he has passed away :(

Never good and now the family is left to pick up the pieces,
FFS talk to someone ANYONE, this sort of thing can be avoided

[Evo]

Sorry to hear Stropp...

[Evo]

I went threw that mate while going threw some pretty bad times at work.
Do yourself a favour and see the docs and get a round of sleeping pills to reboot the system. It made a huge difference for me bloke, only a week. But a week of good sleep made a big difference.

Hey bud,

Have had 2 different ones prescribed, plus doc tried a couple of different quantities with each, don't work...

Evo

[Avo]

sorry to hear stropp..

[Bloodyaussie]

Funny i always get down around this time of year and just then read the first post for the first time in a long time... funny how true one line is and that is friends that are unwavering and truthful... i ducking hate lying a specially from mates.. sticking with my moto (but is hard at times) onwards and upwards!!!

[krbrooking]

Funny i always get down around this time of year and just then read the first post for the first time in a long time... funny how true one line is and that is friends that are unwavering and truthful... i ducking hate lying a specially from mates.. sticking with my moto (but is hard at times) onwards and upwards!!!

Can you really call them mates if they can lie to you.

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[Lexx]

Hey Stropp, I'm sorry to hear about what happened. It doesn't matter what happens a person always thinks what they could have done better, or different to prevent what has happened. To the person suffering, no one can say anything that would seem to help. But in the end, saying anything is the step to recovery. It doesn't have to be targeted, it can be anything.

To all here, if you see or know of someone suffering, just say hello... Ask questions about anything whatsoever, sometimes trying to help makes it worse, just being mate is all a person sometimes needs. Just having normality makes things exactly that... normal. Dealing with the black dog doesn't have to be 'depressing' sometimes it is literally just a 'mates night in'.

I hope all are well in the cold weather setting in, remember lads, we have Patrols and that makes us smile :)

[Evo]

Hey guys.

Can't believe it myself yet, but recent things in life have not gone to plan. So my GU Patrol has gone up for sale.
Financially, things are difficult, my health hasn't been the greatest as you may already know, and my head is all over the place.

Hard decision, very hard...

Already had someone view it today...

...

Evo

[Bloodyaussie]

Hey guys.

Can't believe it myself yet, but recent things in life have not gone to plan. So my GU Patrol has gone up for sale.
Financially, things are difficult, my health hasn't been the greatest as you may already know, and my head is all over the place.

Hard decision, very hard...

Already had someone view it today...

...

Evo

Chin up mate.. you always have a place to put your feet up here.

[BigRAWesty]

Hey guys.

Can't believe it myself yet, but recent things in life have not gone to plan. So my GU Patrol has gone up for sale.
Financially, things are difficult, my health hasn't been the greatest as you may already know, and my head is all over the place.

Hard decision, very hard...

Already had someone view it today...

...

Evo

Bugger mate.
But you gotta do what you gotta do.
hang around though mate. All here to support each other.

[krbrooking]

Hey guys. Can't believe it myself yet, but recent things in life have not gone to plan. So my GU Patrol has gone up for sale. Financially, things are difficult, my health hasn't been the greatest as you may already know, and my head is all over the place. Hard decision, very hard... Already had someone view it today... ... Evo

Hey mate sorry to hear about having to sell the troll, must have been a hard decision. Good luck in the future mate and hopefully things sort them selves out to find you back in one bigger and better.

[Evo]

Someone else had a look today...

If their plans work out, I might be without wheels of my own by mid week...

Trying not to think about it all...

Not going to get upset...

Not going to get upset...

Not going to 😭 😭 😭

[BigRAWesty]

Someone else had a look today...

If their plans work out, I might be without wheels of my own by mid week...

Trying not to think about it all...

Not going to get upset...

Not going to get upset...

Not going to [emoji24] [emoji24] [emoji24]

Must be to cheap

[mudnut]

I do understand where you're

coming from, Evo. I am still

debating whether to sell the

Old Trol. Since my 4wd club

closed, I will only get the

chance to go out and about,

maybe a couple of times a

year. With the a amount of

cash I need to spend on the

car, just to keep it roadworthy

and serviced, I can't really

justify owning it, while we

are on one income.

Good luck with the sale and

enjoy the extra cash it will

bring you.

[krbrooking]

I am also in the same boat as well. I can't keep justifying paying the rego on something I have not even used once this year. I only drive it now and then to keep it running.

[Evo]

1998 GU 4.5 manual ST with 246000kms running dual fuel.
Has a lot of gear on it, just no dual batteries or winch.
What's the going price???

Sometimes we just gotta do what we gotta do...
But sometimes doing what we think is the right thing isn't always doing the right thing...

Evo

[Bob]

1998 GU 4.5 manual ST with 246000kms running dual fuel.
Has a lot of gear on it, just no dual batteries or winch.
What's the going price???

Sometimes we just gotta do what we gotta do...
But sometimes doing what we think is the right thing isn't always doing the right thing...

Evo

Here is one for $11,500 which I would consider the top price

http://www.carsguide.com.au/cars-for-sale/CG_3591679/used-1998-NISSAN-PATROL-TI-(4X4)-GU--Unleaded-SUV-in-.html?searchKey=cg_s.a12b3408386a8f43b36cb2e060a43 d3b#/pos10

[Evo]

Here is one for $11,500 which I would consider the top price

http://www.carsguide.com.au/cars-for-sale/CG_3591679/used-1998-NISSAN-PATROL-TI-(4X4)-GU--Unleaded-SUV-in-.html?searchKey=cg_s.a12b3408386a8f43b36cb2e060a43 d3b#/pos10

Wow, that's a Ti... Mine was only an ST.

Still miss seeing it when opening the front door each day...

Evo

[BigRAWesty]

Wow, that's a Ti... Mine was only an ST.

Still miss seeing it when opening the front door each day...

Evo

Has it gone already??? Dam that was quick

[Evo]

Has it gone already??? Dam that was quick

Yeah, advertised on a Friday, sold the next day...

Evo

[BigRAWesty]

Yeah, advertised on a Friday, sold the next day...

Evo

Well at least it was short and painless.
The time will come again. Hopefully it's lightened the finical load a bit for you guys.

[Evo]

Hey guys, I'm still lurking around in the shadows...

I don't think it has really lightened the load as such, but due to the sale, we were able to put most of what I got for the GU into a term deposit.
And with the little bit I had left over, paid off a few things that were overdue, finally took the cat to the vet (months and months overdue), got a service and new brakes for the mrs car, filling my prescription for meds, and I ended up having to get another car anyway, a cheap daily drive, as it was too much hassle with1 car and the mrs having inconsistent start/finish times at work...

Almost back where we were in the sense of day to day living, but things might be looking a bit better for the future...

I still have my dark days, but I might be starting to believe in that mystical 'light at the end of the tunnel', even though I haven't seen it yet.

Evo

[Woof]

Hey guys, I'm still lurking around in the shadows...

I don't think it has really lightened the load as such, but due to the sale, we were able to put most of what I got for the GU into a term deposit.
And with the little bit I had left over, paid off a few things that were overdue, finally took the cat to the vet (months and months overdue), got a service and new brakes for the mrs car, filling my prescription for meds, and I ended up having to get another car anyway, a cheap daily drive, as it was too much hassle with1 car and the mrs having inconsistent start/finish times at work...

Almost back where we were in the sense of day to day living, but things might be looking a bit better for the future...

I still have my dark days, but I might be starting to believe in that mystical 'light at the end of the tunnel', even though I haven't seen it yet.

Evo

Great news there Evo, yes there is always a light at the end of the tunnel, but sometimes we have to go around a few corners first to find it mate

[Stropp]

Hey guys, I'm still lurking around in the shadows...

I don't think it has really lightened the load as such, but due to the sale, we were able to put most of what I got for the GU into a term deposit.
And with the little bit I had left over, paid off a few things that were overdue, finally took the cat to the vet (months and months overdue), got a service and new brakes for the mrs car, filling my prescription for meds, and I ended up having to get another car anyway, a cheap daily drive, as it was too much hassle with1 car and the mrs having inconsistent start/finish times at work...

Almost back where we were in the sense of day to day living, but things might be looking a bit better for the future...

I still have my dark days, but I might be starting to believe in that mystical 'light at the end of the tunnel', even though I haven't seen it yet.

Evo



good to see you still here mate, glad that you were able to put some cash aside too makes things better to know you have a little stash if you need it.

[oncedisturbed]

Good to hear things are getting a bit easier for you Evo


Never underestimate the power of the tap, let it flow through you.

[SpecialDave]

so i guess this post belongs here.. Its going to be short because i'm at work and about to head into a meeting.

Last night I tucked my infant son into bed, waited until he'd settled, and then collected my clothes for work today and jumped in the currently plague ridden mobile fortress and drove 45 minutes to the couch i would be sleeping on and my interim accommodation whilst i figure out how does ones wife stop loving you, how does ones wife say they cannot live under the same roof as you and how does one not make the mistakes his own father did when his parents separated and ultimately divorced....

Im not going to do anything stupid, i have my son to live for so thats not even an issue, but the absolute earth shattering devastation that sees me randomly break down sobbing and incapable of speaking is so much worse than ive ever experienced in a life that has seen some highs and more lows than most has rocked me to the core. Of course today they then announce a restructure that whilst has no immediate concern for employment absolutely hamstrings 4 years of best practise delivery and career planning despite a very carefully and well considered submission during consulting phase that would future proof the organisation and yield outstanding customer experience uplift - basically everything i am passionate about professionally and personally has in the space of 30 hours been ripped violently away from me and to my mind the battle i see ahead of me on both fronts to retain even a grip is almost, almost, beyond reach.

I am not giving up, I will fight but right now I am sadder than i have ever been before - chances are i'll have a parking ticket on the car to round the day out...

Anyhow - What im going to take from this and what i hope others do is that ive been through some pretty ordinary (understatement) crap in my life but this is by far the worst, and I am not giving up. I am not waiting for someone to walk up and lick me up because that is my job. I am responsible for me. I am going to make the best out this situation somehow. I am going to find a way that suits everyone and ensures i still get tto be the dad i never had, that i dreamed i would be and that my son deserves. somehow.......

anyhow, thanks for reading...

PS have you ever noticed that at times like this every friggen song you hear is about lost love or please stay etc etc etc... Universe, God, Aliens whoever its not funny

[Bloodyaussie]

so i guess this post belongs here.. Its going to be short because i'm at work and about to head into a meeting.

Last night I tucked my infant son into bed, waited until he'd settled, and then collected my clothes for work today and jumped in the currently plague ridden mobile fortress and drove 45 minutes to the couch i would be sleeping on and my interim accommodation whilst i figure out how does ones wife stop loving you, how does ones wife say they cannot live under the same roof as you and how does one not make the mistakes his own father did when his parents separated and ultimately divorced....

Im not going to do anything stupid, i have my son to live for so thats not even an issue, but the absolute earth shattering devastation that sees me randomly break down sobbing and incapable of speaking is so much worse than ive ever experienced in a life that has seen some highs and more lows than most has rocked me to the core. Of course today they then announce a restructure that whilst has no immediate concern for employment absolutely hamstrings 4 years of best practise delivery and career planning despite a very carefully and well considered submission during consulting phase that would future proof the organisation and yield outstanding customer experience uplift - basically everything i am passionate about professionally and personally has in the space of 30 hours been ripped violently away from me and to my mind the battle i see ahead of me on both fronts to retain even a grip is almost, almost, beyond reach.

I am not giving up, I will fight but right now I am sadder than i have ever been before - chances are i'll have a parking ticket on the car to round the day out...

Anyhow - What im going to take from this and what i hope others do is that ive been through some pretty ordinary (understatement) crap in my life but this is by far the worst, and I am not giving up. I am not waiting for someone to walk up and lick me up because that is my job. I am responsible for me. I am going to make the best out this situation somehow. I am going to find a way that suits everyone and ensures i still get tto be the dad i never had, that i dreamed i would be and that my son deserves. somehow.......

anyhow, thanks for reading...

PS have you ever noticed that at times like this every friggen song you hear is about lost love or please stay etc etc etc... Universe, God, Aliens whoever its not funny

No words for you mate just here listening to you and hope it helps.

[DX grunt]

so i guess this post belongs here.. Its going to be short because i'm at work and about to head into a meeting.

Last night I tucked my infant son into bed, waited until he'd settled, and then collected my clothes for work today and jumped in the currently plague ridden mobile fortress and drove 45 minutes to the couch i would be sleeping on and my interim accommodation whilst i figure out how does ones wife stop loving you, how does ones wife say they cannot live under the same roof as you and how does one not make the mistakes his own father did when his parents separated and ultimately divorced....

Im not going to do anything stupid, i have my son to live for so thats not even an issue, but the absolute earth shattering devastation that sees me randomly break down sobbing and incapable of speaking is so much worse than ive ever experienced in a life that has seen some highs and more lows than most has rocked me to the core. Of course today they then announce a restructure that whilst has no immediate concern for employment absolutely hamstrings 4 years of best practise delivery and career planning despite a very carefully and well considered submission during consulting phase that would future proof the organisation and yield outstanding customer experience uplift - basically everything i am passionate about professionally and personally has in the space of 30 hours been ripped violently away from me and to my mind the battle i see ahead of me on both fronts to retain even a grip is almost, almost, beyond reach.

I am not giving up, I will fight but right now I am sadder than i have ever been before - chances are i'll have a parking ticket on the car to round the day out...

Anyhow - What im going to take from this and what i hope others do is that ive been through some pretty ordinary (understatement) crap in my life but this is by far the worst, and I am not giving up. I am not waiting for someone to walk up and lick me up because that is my job. I am responsible for me. I am going to make the best out this situation somehow. I am going to find a way that suits everyone and ensures i still get tto be the dad i never had, that i dreamed i would be and that my son deserves. somehow.......

anyhow, thanks for reading...

PS have you ever noticed that at times like this every friggen song you hear is about lost love or please stay etc etc etc... Universe, God, Aliens whoever its not funny

Firstly, thank you for sharing part of your life with me.

Without going into too much detail, about 16 years ago, I separated then divorced.

I had to leave behind my 4 boys aged from 2-12, so I fully understand your roller coaster ride of emotions and feelings.

I've had temporary accommodation, too. I lived in a converted bathroom at a caravan park for a while, until I sorted myself out.

I'd strongly encourage you to seek professional help - sooner rather than later, please. I didn't for such a long time and found that it did help.

I don't know you from 'a bar of soap', but you sound like the type of bloke that would have unconditional love for his son. Hang onto that- no matter what!

You are 'special', Dave. We all are, in our own unique way.

Take care out there, bro.

Rossco

[oncedisturbed]

so i guess this post belongs here.. Its going to be short because i'm at work and about to head into a meeting.

Last night I tucked my infant son into bed, waited until he'd settled, and then collected my clothes for work today and jumped in the currently plague ridden mobile fortress and drove 45 minutes to the couch i would be sleeping on and my interim accommodation whilst i figure out how does ones wife stop loving you, how does ones wife say they cannot live under the same roof as you and how does one not make the mistakes his own father did when his parents separated and ultimately divorced....

Im not going to do anything stupid, i have my son to live for so thats not even an issue, but the absolute earth shattering devastation that sees me randomly break down sobbing and incapable of speaking is so much worse than ive ever experienced in a life that has seen some highs and more lows than most has rocked me to the core. Of course today they then announce a restructure that whilst has no immediate concern for employment absolutely hamstrings 4 years of best practise delivery and career planning despite a very carefully and well considered submission during consulting phase that would future proof the organisation and yield outstanding customer experience uplift - basically everything i am passionate about professionally and personally has in the space of 30 hours been ripped violently away from me and to my mind the battle i see ahead of me on both fronts to retain even a grip is almost, almost, beyond reach.

I am not giving up, I will fight but right now I am sadder than i have ever been before - chances are i'll have a parking ticket on the car to round the day out...

Anyhow - What im going to take from this and what i hope others do is that ive been through some pretty ordinary (understatement) crap in my life but this is by far the worst, and I am not giving up. I am not waiting for someone to walk up and lick me up because that is my job. I am responsible for me. I am going to make the best out this situation somehow. I am going to find a way that suits everyone and ensures i still get tto be the dad i never had, that i dreamed i would be and that my son deserves. somehow.......

anyhow, thanks for reading...

PS have you ever noticed that at times like this every friggen song you hear is about lost love or please stay etc etc etc... Universe, God, Aliens whoever its not funny

Having been in the same boat nearly 14 years ago when my son was only 7 months old, I fully understand how you feel and what you're going through as do many of the members here, both those who have spoken out and those who choose to remain silent, no disrespect to those members.

It is a hard and sometimes very lonely road to travel, unfortunately the kids in many cases become the innocent victims.

It took a few years to sort itself out but luckily enough now that my wife and I get on well with my Ex and her partner for the sake of our son. We have been fortunate to be able to join in with bbq's, birthdays, camping trips and overseas holidays etc as combined "extended" families and are far better as friends then we ever were together.

Always show and tell your kids how much you love and care for them regardless of what happens with what you're going through, they will almost always see through any smoke and mirrors that are put up in front of them.

The members are only to happy to lend an ear if you or anyone else needs it, whether it is an email, SMS, pm or phone call.


Never underestimate the power of the tap, let it flow through you.

[Stropp]

so i guess this post belongs here.. Its going to be short because i'm at work and about to head into a meeting.

Last night I tucked my infant son into bed, waited until he'd settled, and then collected my clothes for work today and jumped in the currently plague ridden mobile fortress and drove 45 minutes to the couch i would be sleeping on and my interim accommodation whilst i figure out how does ones wife stop loving you, how does ones wife say they cannot live under the same roof as you and how does one not make the mistakes his own father did when his parents separated and ultimately divorced....

Im not going to do anything stupid, i have my son to live for so thats not even an issue, but the absolute earth shattering devastation that sees me randomly break down sobbing and incapable of speaking is so much worse than ive ever experienced in a life that has seen some highs and more lows than most has rocked me to the core. Of course today they then announce a restructure that whilst has no immediate concern for employment absolutely hamstrings 4 years of best practise delivery and career planning despite a very carefully and well considered submission during consulting phase that would future proof the organisation and yield outstanding customer experience uplift - basically everything i am passionate about professionally and personally has in the space of 30 hours been ripped violently away from me and to my mind the battle i see ahead of me on both fronts to retain even a grip is almost, almost, beyond reach.

I am not giving up, I will fight but right now I am sadder than i have ever been before - chances are i'll have a parking ticket on the car to round the day out...

Anyhow - What im going to take from this and what i hope others do is that ive been through some pretty ordinary (understatement) crap in my life but this is by far the worst, and I am not giving up. I am not waiting for someone to walk up and lick me up because that is my job. I am responsible for me. I am going to make the best out this situation somehow. I am going to find a way that suits everyone and ensures i still get tto be the dad i never had, that i dreamed i would be and that my son deserves. somehow.......

anyhow, thanks for reading...

PS have you ever noticed that at times like this every friggen song you hear is about lost love or please stay etc etc etc... Universe, God, Aliens whoever its not funny


Mate I know exactly how you feel, twice married twice divorced, the last one so bad I just can't bring myself to have a relationship as I just can't put my trust in another human that much, things will take time but trust me it will, been 15 yrs but I have had both my kids live with me and they have their own partners now and one has a son my first grandchild so yes things do get better but it takes a long time. If you need anyone to talk to pm me.

[dom14]

Hey Dave,
Sorry to hear you're going through some tough times mate, but you are lot tougher than you think.
These times will pass and you'll recover in no time.
And I have no doubts you'll be a good dad for your kid.
There's no easy answers why the relationships go stale and we don't feel the same way as before.
Sometime it's just hormones taking over and by the time we realize that we already have started a family. Other times, we simply grow apart as our individual lives take their own natural path, which leads to separation.
What you are now, not necessary what you were five years ago. We don't necessarily see ourselves change, but we do notice others going through such changes.
You and your partner may go your own ways for the long term, or may get back.
Either way, learn the valuable lesson that we can't base our happiness on our partners.

We are products of our parents. All the good and the bad comes with it.
Not making same mistakes as your parents is pretty doable, but not as easy as it seems to be.
Only way to break the cycle is to be conscious about it and do the best to be conscious about our decisions.

There's a subtle but powerful mechanism at work here. We tend to live our parents lives and make the mistakes they do. The amazing thing is that sometime, the very things we do to not make our parent's mistakes lead us in the same boat via backdoor. subconsciously we end up making the same mistakes by simply trying not to. Again, finding these behaviour patterns is not so easy. Then changing those behaviour patterns is even harder.

About the mid life crisis. It's an absolute crapper, and we all have to go through it. It is as inevitable as death, taxes and puberty, except there's no fixed age frame for to go through that down time. Some of us unfortunate animals, it can last for years, and you ain't gonna be one of them. I think you get your strength from a good source. One is your infant son, the other is yourself. For me, mid life crisis helped me to rediscover myself and my passions. I got into great hobbies like 4wd'ing and bikes, also a plethora of creative hobbies. I'm not sure not having kids has helped or hindered the recovery, but in the end you recover. Like they say, what doesn't kill you make you stronger.

My friendly advice is that be conscious of that and get some help. I know it feels like crap and crying all the time. But, it's ok to feel intensely sad and depressed at times. Talking to your mates or the family can help, but the best is to talk to a professional. A good therapist can ask you some good questions and help you to pinpoint where you did the wrong, or even help you to find out whether it's you at all. It's even possible you may have nothing to do with it at all. Sometime the shit just happens and we can't control everything.
These days we tend to take "happy tablets" from the doctor to get through depressive periods.
Personally, I think unless a person has pregenetic disposition to fall into longer depression, talk therapy is the way to go, be it a therapist or the family or mates. Depression feels like absolute crap, but it can also teach us valuable lessons of life, about how to get through tough times.

Letting go is not easy, but necessary part of life, be it for our personal growth or for the goodness of our loved ones. So, feel the sadness and then get your strength from it, then let go.

Don't necessarily expect your partner to understand you and help you with your most inner emotional struggles and changes you go through. Rarely one of us get a partner like that, but majority of us have to rely on ourselves. Your partner can love you, but not necessarily understand your depths. Having realistic expectations on them can help us not to base all aspects of our happiness on them.

Cheers mate
Dom

[SpecialDave]

I tip my hat with the deepest of gratitude to all of you.

Bad things happen to good people in riding the roller coaster of emotion keenly aware of where in the stages of loss I happen to be at any given time whilst also understanding my wife's are unlikely to be synchronised. Denial, Anger and Bargaining were instant and short lived and I find myself occupying depression and have decided it will be a short stay. I am aware however that acceptance may be a very distant state of mind and that the previous stages may at times suddenly overwhelm me.

I have been an ambassador for beyondblue and aside from never thinking I would need them I have and will along with our company assistance program.

But there is certainly something to be said for the kindness of strangers and you sharing your stores that evidence getting past this are extraordinarily kind and restore my faith in humanity. Thank you all for sharing and your support.




Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Cuppa]

I tip my hat with the deepest of gratitude to all of you.

Bad things happen to good people in riding the roller coaster of emotion keenly aware of where in the stages of loss I happen to be at any given time whilst also understanding my wife's are unlikely to be synchronised. Denial, Anger and Bargaining were instant and short lived and I find myself occupying depression and have decided it will be a short stay. I am aware however that acceptance may be a very distant state of mind and that the previous stages may at times suddenly overwhelm me.

I have been an ambassador for beyondblue and aside from never thinking I would need them I have and will along with our company assistance program.

But there is certainly something to be said for the kindness of strangers and you sharing your stores that evidence getting past this are extraordinarily kind and restore my faith in humanity. Thank you all for sharing and your support.




Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


Mate, I like the way you write .................you are special.

Cuppa

[dom14]

I found out that 4WD'ing, bikes etc are good to get the male aggression and risk taking out of my blood into a productive activity(well, within reason of course,)
Also found out introducing myself to meditation, nature, writing and music(learning to play an instrument and fool around with it) etc helped with the mid life crisis as well as finding out
a whole different side of me.
It can be pottery, painting, sketching, or any kind of soothing hobby your natural self can connect with.
One of my mate's been practicing martial arts for years, to get the aggression out as well as a soothing technique.
He does get beaten up occasionally and whines about the aches and pains, but for the most part, he's happy about the outcome.
I prefer the non contact version of it, as I can't afford to accidentally break wrists, ribs, teeth, etc. :)

So, I say with confidence, find more soothing hobbies that you can connect with, mate. When you find the benefit and the overall balance they give you.
you'll always find time for them.

[Snafu]

I tip my hat with the deepest of gratitude to all of you.

Bad things happen to good people in riding the roller coaster of emotion keenly aware of where in the stages of loss I happen to be at any given time whilst also understanding my wife's are unlikely to be synchronised. Denial, Anger and Bargaining were instant and short lived and I find myself occupying depression and have decided it will be a short stay. I am aware however that acceptance may be a very distant state of mind and that the previous stages may at times suddenly overwhelm me.

I have been an ambassador for beyondblue and aside from never thinking I would need them I have and will along with our company assistance program.

But there is certainly something to be said for the kindness of strangers and you sharing your stores that evidence getting past this are extraordinarily kind and restore my faith in humanity. Thank you all for sharing and your support.




Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Hi Dave
This will sound hypocritical.
From someone that has and is still suffering from depression for a number of years seeking help is the best way to go. Myself who thought I can fix this and finally found out that I can't. This has cost me plenty in lost friends and my hobbys that I used to enjoy and was passionate about, amongst other things.
All I can say is don't walk the path that I have as it's bloody hard to return from it.
Keep your head held up and surrond yourself with friends and family.
I wish you all the best.
SNAFU.

[LaughingBeagles]

Well said mate and thanks for sharing.


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

[BigRAWesty]

Hi Dave
This will sound hypocritical.
From someone that has and is still suffering from depression for a number of years seeking help is the best way to go. Myself who thought I can fix this and finally found out that I can't. This has cost me plenty in lost friends and my hobbys that I used to enjoy and was passionate about, amongst other things.
All I can say is don't walk the path that I have as it's bloody hard to return from it.
Keep your head held up and surrond yourself with friends and family.
I wish you all the best.
SNAFU.
Absolutely..
I nearly lost my wife as I was holding back a lot of shit.
she was just about to walk when I broke.
It was work related and she got me to take it further..
The problem is still here which Sucks but he is no longer my boss which is a positive..
She was my rock in my time of need.
Definitely recommend speaking out.
Even here.
There is always someone's ear to chew

[malik52]

awww so sad to hear about your experience. May GOD help you heal from all this stuff. please contact a specialist doctor and don't delay it dear

[Snafu]

Bloody Aussie & Special Dave how things going with you guys ?
I hope all is ok.

SNAFU

[Avo]

it's nearly been a year..i am happy go lucky at the best of times,but of late it's changed...my mrs is coping the brunt of it..... it ain't her fault..to be honest it's not anyone's... ....the hardest thing is to even start..I know you guys say..hey drop a line,have a chat or a coffee(thanks stropp and others)but in all honesty....i find it hard to even go there...we have the person invovled in councelling...which took over 4 months....-ah the country life..it's good until some one you love needs real help,then you realise how far away from help you really are.. i appreciate this forum and the comradery we all have...but to even open your mouth and say hey Fuck...here's my problem is so hard...what we are going through is so hard for me to even put to words...but i hope in writing this it relieves some pressure...i don't need anything i just needed to get this out.....all day everyday when you work alone it chews you up and spits you out and the mind doesn't stop..

[Clunk]

it's nearly been a year..i am happy go lucky at the best of times,but of late it's changed...my mrs is coping the brunt of it..... it ain't her fault..to be honest it's not anyone's... ....the hardest thing is to even start..I know you guys say..hey drop a line,have a chat or a coffee(thanks stropp and others)but in all honesty....i find it hard to even go there...we have the person invovled in councelling...which took over 4 months....-ah the country life..it's good until some one you love needs real help,then you realise how far away from help you really are.. i appreciate this forum and the comradery we all have...but to even open your mouth and say hey Fuck...here's my problem is so hard...what we are going through is so hard for me to even put to words...but i hope in writing this it relieves some pressure...i don't need anything i just needed to get this out.....all day everyday when you work alone it chews you up and spits you out and the mind doesn't stop..
You know where i am mate..... anytime. You know that

[BigRAWesty]

Vent away mate. You guys have had a very tough year..
No one is going to judge you that's for sure..

[Stropp]

it's nearly been a year..i am happy go lucky at the best of times,but of late it's changed...my mrs is coping the brunt of it..... it ain't her fault..to be honest it's not anyone's... ....the hardest thing is to even start..I know you guys say..hey drop a line,have a chat or a coffee(thanks stropp and others)but in all honesty....i find it hard to even go there...we have the person invovled in councelling...which took over 4 months....-ah the country life..it's good until some one you love needs real help,then you realise how far away from help you really are.. i appreciate this forum and the comradery we all have...but to even open your mouth and say hey Fuck...here's my problem is so hard...what we are going through is so hard for me to even put to words...but i hope in writing this it relieves some pressure...i don't need anything i just needed to get this out.....all day everyday when you work alone it chews you up and spits you out and the mind doesn't stop..

yes mate, sometimes it gets a hard, pm me if you want or need to, like clunk says just a message or phone call away, i know its difficult but think of the good shit and try not to dwell on the bad. have a merry xmas and happy new year Neil keep the chin up mate and love the little things that make you happy like the bike rides mate :)

[TPC]

Today is the worst of my life so far but it may be eclipsed soon.
I am absolutely devastated, my son who has been battling cancer has had serious complications from lung surgery.
He is being put on a ventilator today in ICU but things are looking real bad.
We (me, my wife and his two girls who are 4 and 6) are heading up to Sydney tomorrow morning to be with him and his wife.
I can not imagine not having him around, he is my son and my best friend.

[Winnie]

Tony I'm sorry I don't know what to say to you. My thoughts are with you and your sons families.

[Rossco]

Sh#t mate that's devastating. Can't imagine what you must be going through but thoughts are with you and really really hope things turn up. Wishing you all the best.

[BigRAWesty]

Fark mate that is devastating news. Was really hoping for a positive outcome..
Have a safe trip over mate. Drive safe..
Thoughts are with you all..

[Sir Roofy]

Cant imagine what your going through mate hope it goes well

[Clunk]

Tony, our thoughts are with you and your family mate

[ova50]

Tony, our thoughts, prayers and well wishes for you and your entire family.
Daryl

[Stropp]

Tony, along with the others my sympathy, thoughts and prayers are with your family and son at this terrible time.

[Bloodyaussie]

I have no words for you only my thoughts......... take care of yourself Tony and your loved ones around you.

[mudnut]

Our thoughts are with you and your family, Tony.

[threedogs]

Strength to your right arm Tony, only positive thoughts going your way,
My BIL had a lung removed, it was a long haul but hes ok now.
wish only the same outcome for you,
Surround yourself with loved ones,

[MyGU8]

Hey Tony, sorry to hear that mate.
All our thoughts are with you and your family.
Wishing for a positive outcome mate.

[Roosim]

Hi - I live close by (Aldinga) do you need any help at your place while you are away ?

[TPC]

Thanks everybody for your support, I have calmed down a bit now as have been surrounded by family all afternoon/evening.
I have to remain positive now and believe he can still beat this.
He is now in a induced coma and on a ventilator and is going to be transferred to RPA where he can receive the best care.
I was thinking about driving up but have booked flights instead to be there quicker.

Roosim thanks for the offer of help with my place, it is under control with family members but really appreciate the offer.

[MyGU8]

....but have booked flights instead to be there quicker.



That's a really good idea mate, take care Tony...

Cheers

[4bye4]

I can not imagine not having him around, he is my son and my best friend.
I had the same relationship with my father and now have the same with my own son. I don't know you Tony but can, because of things that have happened over the years, imagine a little of what you and your family are going through. I hope for a positive outcome for you all. Stay strong.

[katwoman]

Thanks everybody for your support, I have calmed down a bit now as have been surrounded by family all afternoon/evening.
I have to remain positive now and believe he can still beat this.
He is now in a induced coma and on a ventilator and is going to be transferred to RPA where he can receive the best care.
I was thinking about driving up but have booked flights instead to be there quicker.

Roosim thanks for the offer of help with my place, it is under control with family members but really appreciate the offer.

If there's any thing we can do.....................

[Maxhead]

Hey Tony, thoughts are with you mate. Hoping for the best outcome possible





….................... On the move

[Hodge]

So sorry to hear whats happened mate. Heres hoping for the best outcome ! Stay strong!

[Chubba]

Adding my support for you mate.

[Bloodyaussie]

Thanks everybody for your support, I have calmed down a bit now as have been surrounded by family all afternoon/evening.
I have to remain positive now and believe he can still beat this.
He is now in a induced coma and on a ventilator and is going to be transferred to RPA where he can receive the best care.
I was thinking about driving up but have booked flights instead to be there quicker.

Roosim thanks for the offer of help with my place, it is under control with family members but really appreciate the offer.

How are things Tony...?

[MudRunnerTD]

Hey Tony, sorry sorry to read this news mate, apologies I missed your post last week. My thoughts are with you and your family at this time, I hope you see some improvement in the coming days.

Thoughts are with you mate.

Regards Darren and family.

[mudnut]

I hope your son improves, quickly, Tony. Sending positive thoughts, mate.

[TPC]

Things are not good, thanks for your support guys.

[Avo]

if you need one more wish or prayer mate..just ask....