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Thread: The Joke Thread

  1. #1081
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    Marriage Humour

    Wife: 'What are you doing?'
    Husband: 'Nothing.'
    Wife: 'Nothing...? You've been reading our marriage certificate for an hour.'
    Husband: 'I was looking for the expiration date.'
    -------------------------------
    Wife : 'Do you want dinner?'
    Husband: 'Sure! What are my choices?'
    Wife: 'Yes or no.'
    --------------------------------------------------------
    Stress Reliever

    Girl: 'When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles and lighten your burden.'
    Boy: 'It's very kind of you, darling, but I don't have any worries or troubles.'
    Girl: 'Well that's because we aren't married yet.'
    ------------------------------
    Son: 'Mum, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady.'
    Mom: 'Well, you have done the right thing.'
    Son: 'But mum, I was sitting on daddy's lap.'
    ________________________________

    A newly married man asked his wife, 'Would you have married me if my father hadn't left me a fortune?'

    'Honey,' the woman replied sweetly, 'I'd have married you, NO MATTER WHO LEFT YOU A FORTUNE!'
    ------------------------------------------------------------
    A wife asked her husband: 'What do you like most in me, my pretty face or my sexy body?'

    He looked at her from head to toe and replied: 'I like your sense of humor!'

  2. The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to lenkeit1234 For This Useful Post:

    growler2058 (10th February 2012), snicko (6th February 2012), Wine_maker (10th February 2012), Woof (6th February 2012)

  3. # ADS
    Circuit advertisement
    Join Date
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  4. #1082
    Patrol Freak Wine_maker's Avatar
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    I'm Alexander and I'm the happiest owner of GQ Nissan Safari in the whole Central Asia

  5. The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to Wine_maker For This Useful Post:

    Clunk (2nd March 2012), growler2058 (10th February 2012), snicko (14th February 2012)

  6. #1083
    Expert ozzyboy's Avatar
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    I borrowed a DVD from my mate, entitled Bald & Barely Legal.

    I rushed home, drew the curtains, put the DVD in the slot and made myself comfortable, expecting something really raunchy.

    Felt such an idiot when it turned out to be a Department Of Transport short film about tyre tread depths.

  7. The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to ozzyboy For This Useful Post:

    Clunk (2nd March 2012), growler2058 (12th February 2012), rusty_nail (20th March 2012), snicko (14th February 2012)

  8. #1084
    Administrator AB's Avatar
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    Shouldn't talk about politics but I just had to share this one...lol
    Attached Images Attached Images

  9. The Following 6 Users Say Thank You to AB For This Useful Post:

    Clunk (2nd March 2012), GUtsy ute (25th February 2012), Maxhead (25th February 2012), MC97GQ (25th February 2012), snicko (25th February 2012), Woof (25th February 2012)

  10. #1085
    Patrol Freak Wine_maker's Avatar
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    Epic fail



    Last edited by Wine_maker; 2nd March 2012 at 01:12 AM.
    I'm Alexander and I'm the happiest owner of GQ Nissan Safari in the whole Central Asia

  11. The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to Wine_maker For This Useful Post:

    Clunk (2nd March 2012), snicko (12th March 2012), taslucas (28th February 2012)

  12. #1086
    Patrol God taslucas's Avatar
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    Wow! that looks dodgy!
    Maybe should have hit it in third!? LMAO
    Hello from Under Down Under!

  13. #1087
    Patrol Freak Wine_maker's Avatar
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    The evil forest ate a car!

    Last edited by Wine_maker; 8th March 2012 at 10:51 PM.
    I'm Alexander and I'm the happiest owner of GQ Nissan Safari in the whole Central Asia

  14. #1088
    Expert LittleJohn's Avatar
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  15. #1089
    Expert Pete's GU3's Avatar
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    I went to my bosses house for dinner one night and his wife says

    "how many potatoes would you like "

    i said ' Oh just 1"

    she said "Oh you dont have to be polite "

    I said "Oh just 1 then you ugly bitch"!

  16. #1090
    Expert 45/70's Avatar
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    If you put a big Condom on a big c@#k,

    and a little Condom on a little C@#K,

    what would you put on a soft C@#K?








    a Collingwood jumper.

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