The Joke Thread

[Bob]

A woman gets on a bus with her baby.
The bus driver says: ''Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!''
The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming.
She says to a man next to her: ''The driver just insulted me!''
The man says: ''You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you.''

[Bob]

One day an Irishman, who has been stranded on a desert island for over ten long years, sees an unusual speck on the horizon.

"It's certainly not a ship," he thinks to himself. As the speck gets closer and closer, he begins to rule out the possibilities of a small boat, then even a raft.

Suddenly, emerging from the surf comes a drop dead gorgeous blonde woman wearing a wet suit and scuba gear.

She approaches the stunned man and says to him, "Tell me how long has it been since you've had a cigarette?"

"Ten years," replies the Irishman.

With that, she reaches over and unzips a waterproof pocket on her left sleeve and pulls out a pack of fresh cigarettes. He takes one, lights it, takes a long drag and says, "Faith and begorah! Is that good!"

"And how long has it been since you've had a sip of good Irish Whiskey?" she asks him.

Trembling, the castaway replies, "Ten years."

She reaches over, unzips her right sleeve, pulls out a flask and hands it to him. He opens the flask, takes a long swig and says, "Tis absolutely fantastic!"

At this point she starts slowly unzipping the long zipper that runs down the front of her wet suit, looks at the man and asks, "And how long has it been since you've played around?"

With tears in his eyes, the man falls to his knees and sobs, "Oh, Sweet Jesus! Don't tell me you've got golf clubs in there too."

[Clunk]

A cowboy walked into a bar and ordered a whiskey.
Then the bartender delivered the drink, the cowboy asked.
"Where is everybody?"
The bartender replied. "They've gone to the hanging."
"Hanging? Who are they hanging?"
"Brown Paper Pete." The bartender replied.
"What kind of a name is that?" The cowboy asked.
"Well," said the bartender. "He wears a brown paper hat, brown paper shirt, brown paper trousers and brown paper shoes."
"Weird guy!" Exclaimed the cowboy. "What are they hanging him for?"



































"Rustling."

[growler2058]

Very very very very baaaad Clunkster

[Clunk]

Very very very very baaaad Clunkster

yeah I know, great hey!!!!???? hahahahahaha

[jack]

Very very very very baaaad Clunkster

I agree, but won't stop me using it as a DAD joke.

[Woof]

yeah I know, great hey!!!!???? hahahahahaha

I hate to say it, but that sort of joke really appeals to my weird sense of humour mate...hahahaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaah ahahhaha

[P4trol]

That's a tearable joke.

[growler2058]

One day I'll meet Clink and because of that joke I'm gunna punch him in the throat hahaha

[mudnut]

That's a tearable joke.

That's not punny!