The Joke Thread

lol........Plassy your hurting my head.......lolololololol

hahahaha.

Meanwhile back at the ranch, there was a tap at the door.....

What a stupid place to put a tap!

You blokes are shocking........ Stop it the pare of you...........lol

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Plasnart

And down at that ranch there was a bar. A horse walked in and the barman said "Why the long face?"

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Had to read it twice but got it in the end. hahaha

LOLOLOLOLOLololololololOLOLOLOLOLOLOl............. ..............................................YOUR BLOODY FULL OF IT PLASSY.....................lololololololololol

lolololololol...................... Not even close........................lololololololol

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Plasnart

3 blokes from the Nissan Patrol Forum were on holiday in New York. Plasnart, CoR and Patch. Well they'd been driving all over the place for a week and looking at all the tourist sights and they had become bored. They were up on the observation deck of the Empire State Building and CoR said "I'm bored, what can we do?"

Patch said "Why don't we have a competition to see who's got the longest one?"

So Patch sticks his out and it went down 3 floors. "How's that fellas? 3 storeys long!!"

"That's nothing" said CoR. He stuck his out and it went down 12 floors! "Now that's what I call a whopper! 12 storeys long!!"

"Get out of the way you try-hards" said Plassy, and stuck his out.

All of a sudden he starts wiggling his hips like he's doing the hula-hoop.

"Bloody Hell what are you doing wiggling your hips around like that?" asked CoR.

"Dodging the traffic."

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LMFAO you funny bugger!!

Oh got another one:


Old Fart AFL Football

An old married couple no sooner hit the pillows when the old man passes gas and says, 'Goal, 6 Points.'

His wife rolls over and says, 'What in the world was that?'
The old man replied, 'its fart football.'

A few minutes later his wife lets one go and says 'Goal, tied score.'

After about five minutes the old man lets another one go and says,
'Aha. I'm ahead 12 points to 6.'

Not to be outdone the wife rips out another one and says,
'Goal, tied score.'

Five seconds go by and she lets out a little squeaker and says, a
'Point, I lead 13 to 12.'
Now the pressure is on the old man.

He refuses to get beaten by a woman, so he strains real hard.
Since defeat is totally unacceptable, he gives it everything he's got, and accidentally shits in the bed.

The wife says, 'What the hell was that?'

The old man says, 'Half time, switch sides.

and another:

Irish Joke


Muldoon lived alone in the Irish countryside with only a pet dog for company. One day the dog died – Muldoon was beside himself with grief.

He went to Father Patrick the local parish priest and asked…..
“Father me dog is dead! Can ya be saying a mass for the poor creature?”

Father Patrick replied….”I’m afraid not, we cannot have a service for an animal in the church, but there are some Baptists down the lane and there’s no telling what they believe….maybe they’ll do something for the poor creature”.

Muldoon says ..” I’ll go right away Father, do ya think 5000 pounds is enough to donate for the service?”

Father Patrick exclaimed “Sweet Mary, Mother of Jesus, why didn’t ya tell me the dog was Catholic”.

LOLOLOL Nicely done........& very funny too.....lololol