Depression

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Originally Posted by oncedisturbed

Evo, unfortunately it does take time. As with other's, I still go through it on a regular basis and unfortunately without meds, I would be a lot worse and also the support the minister has given when she could have bailed and not put herself through it all is a bonus.

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I have to admit the missus has been there for me through it all.
We knew each other, but sort of got together after she pulled me back from the edge a couple of times
Especially over the last couple of years of not being able to work from back issues. She had plenty of reasons to walk, but just kept on without even blinking an eye.
I think at the moment, for me, the hours she is at work are the hard ones.
Even when she's sleeping, it makes things easier just to know the house isn't empty...

And it is very, very true. People say that they understand, they know what you are going through, but (and I know you will agree) without being there, they can't even begin to imagine how dark of a place you can be.

Finding others who can share your experiences (as I have seen on here) looks to be a better step in the right direction than many other options and recommendations out there.

Evo

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Originally Posted by 93patrol

I just have to say something that has bugged me for a week or so.

I was in a real low last Sunday week and needed to talk to someone so I rang beyond blue thinking I could have a chat and instead I was given more numbers to ring and it took a fair bit of working up just to ring them I couldn't bring myself to call the other numbers. I was lucky one of my work mates saw my predicament and pulled me aside for a good chat and helped me get through the low.

Now I thought Beyond Blue was a number to call to help not to pass you onto someone else which to me was very disheartening is this the norm with them or did I just get a dud?

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Can't say I've heard of beyond blue...
Must get out from under my rock more.
I have found that a lot of places seem to pass you on rather that try to help you themselves, regardless of what the issue is.
Has anyone else noticed that?

Evo

Yup, see that regularly through work as well and not just in relation to to me, could be other staff or member's of public that we deal with and get passed over

I don't believe what happened to 93patrol is what is supposed to have happened.
I would consider sending them an email outlining what has happened because that is simply not good enough. I would expect they would be shocked to hear you have had that experience.

Ok guys I have been on the phone with Beyond Blue and they have stated that the are more of a referral service guiding you in what direction you may need to take to get help eg: doctor, shrink, drugs and so on.

Now for those that need to talk to someone in the moment you need to call the Life Line on 13 11 14

I will put this info in the first thread..

This is my update on the first page.........................

Update on services to call:

Life Line is the number you need to call for immediate help on 13 11 14

Beyond Blue is more of a referral service to guide you in the right direction as far as counseling or doctors or drugs (only call if you need to take it the next step)
1300 22 4636

If you have other numbers send them to me with what they do and how they help and I will post it here on the first page

Remember to look out for the signs from a family member or friend and not be dismissive.

also depends on where you may live as well.

WA also has Crisis Care - 92231111 and Family Helpline - 92231100

Unfortunately for me the work up to actually call someone was distressing enough but to get referred onto another number was a bit too much at that time. Would have been better to maybe have the referred numbers on their website. Or at least have the person on the other end to actually have a listen and a chat maybe

Pm me if you ever need to bend an ear

Thanks mate will do if I crash again

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Originally Posted by Bloodyaussie

Ok guys I have been on the phone with Beyond Blue and they have stated that the are more of a referral service guiding you in what direction you may need to take to get help eg: doctor, shrink, drugs and so on.

Now for those that need to talk to someone in the moment you need to

call the Life Line on

13 11 14

I will put this info in the first thread..

This is my update on the first page.........................

Update on services to call:

Life Line is the number you need to call for immediate help on 13 11 14

Beyond Blue is more of a referral service to guide you in the right direction as far as counseling or doctors or drugs (only call if you need to take it the next step)
1300 22 4636

If you have other numbers send them to me with what they do and how they help and I will post it here on the first page

Remember to look out for the signs from a family member or friend and not be dismissive.

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Originally Posted by oncedisturbed

also depends on where you may live as well.

WA also has Crisis Care - 92231111

and Family Helpline - 92231100

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When I get near a computer I will embed both of those posts in the first post of this thread if you don't mind BA, sure you won't ;)

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Originally Posted by oncedisturbed

Pm me if you ever need to bend an ear

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Same offer from me.
That offer stands for anyone else too.
Seeing as I'm kicking around not doing much most of the time.
Could be mutually beneficial.

Evo

I hope you all admire this man as I do, just shows there is a good chance someone can help

http://au.news.yahoo.com/world/a/196...uffalo-bridge/

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Originally Posted by macca

I hope you all admire this man as I do, just shows there is a good chance someone can help

http://au.news.yahoo.com/world/a/196...uffalo-bridge/

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Hero right there.

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Originally Posted by macca

I hope you all admire this man as I do, just shows there is a good chance someone can help

http://au.news.yahoo.com/world/a/196...uffalo-bridge/

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Thats makes me want to cry... there are some good people out there on planet earth.

I get upset when school kids die as a result of school bullies, most times their parents have no idea.

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Originally Posted by macca

I hope you all admire this man as I do, just shows there is a good chance someone can help

http://au.news.yahoo.com/world/a/196...uffalo-bridge/

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That is amazing.
The world wouldn't be so brutal if there were mor people like that out there.
Sickening that the pedestrians and a cyclist didn't even give her a second look and went right past...

Evo

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Originally Posted by RLI

G'day threedogs,

With due respect, your referral to "Roberts-Thomson the VC medal guy" is wrong! It is Benjamin Roberts-Smith VC MG. The following is his bio;

Benjamin "Ben" Roberts-Smith VC MG (born 1 November 1978) is a former Australian soldier and a recipient of the Victoria Cross for Australia, the highest award in the Australian honours system.[1] His Victoria Cross, together with his Medal for Gallantry awarded during a tour of Afghanistan in 2006, make Roberts-Smith the most highly decorated member of the Australian Defence Force and any other Commonwealth army in recent years.

Roberts-Smith was awarded the Victoria Cross for Australia for his actions during a helicopter assault into Tizak on 11 June 2010 as part of an offensive in the Shah Wali Kot region, while serving with the Special Air Service Regiment during the War in Afghanistan.[2] He was presented with the medal by the Governor-General of Australia, Quentin Bryce, in a ceremony in Perth on 23 January 2011.[3] In 2006, Roberts-Smith was awarded the Medal for Gallantry for a previous action in Afghanistan.

PS, stop drinking alcohol with your meds, it clouds your judgement!

Kind regards,

RLI

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http://www.whitecloudfoundation.org

I'm so down at the moment.....

As you guys know I'm having to sell my house due to the ongoing problems with the aboriginal housing tenants next door, Yesterday we went to the mortgage broker to get a heads up on our borrowing capabilities and were dealt another blow. Since we now have 2 kids we've lost 75k of borrowing since we borrowed to purchase our current house. Totally devastated, I feel like we are being kicked in the guts. My wife is so down she just keeps crying.... My eldest daughter knows something is up as well. Its just shit that we are going to lose all we have worked for here because nobody can put the problems next door right.

My wife asked me what if we stayed here, I said I'd get to a point and crack and then I'd regret my actions for the rest of my life.... Everytime I see them now I burn so hard with anger..... But I can't keep my kids here for them to grow up in this place with that. It's not fair on them......

It's a tough situation, mate. Have you thought of renting your place out and paying rent somewhere more suitable as a temporary solution.

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Originally Posted by mudnut

It's a tough situation, mate. Have you thought of renting your place out and paying rent somewhere more suitable as a temporary solution.

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Hey, We thought about that, But then we thought of all the hassles of upkeep and insurances and the real estate etc, To us its not worth the effort. Thanks for the reply, I'm just sad of all that is happening at the moment.

Cheers.

I hear you, mate. Are they permanent tenants next door?

My son is a 26 year old train driver ... has both his Metro and Diesel Freight ticket. He loves his job with a passion. From the day he could walk and talk, he knew what he wanted to do with his life. He has already been involved in two fatal crashes ... one when a driver drove straight in front in front of them while on his mobile phone (bells were ringing), and another when someone jumped from a bridge in front of the train. The family of the deceased takes years & years to get over this. The driver of the train is scarred for life. The mother of the driver is beside herself for what it is doing to her son. These suicides are not documented in the papers .. PLEASE, PLEASE ... if you EVER feel this way, seek help. I have been there, done that. I have taken a few steps backwards in the last few weeks due to circumstances, but am now back on track.
On another note, a body was found in a popular camping ground near where I live on Thursday. He had shot himself. I wish he had had someone to talk to like we do.
Thanks again for being there xx

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Originally Posted by mudnut

I hear you, mate. Are they permanent tenants next door?

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Unfortunately yes.

Is there some sort of mediation available?

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Originally Posted by mudnut

Is there some sort of mediation available?

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Besides a tin of petrol a match or a few bullets, No.

Nobody wants to do anything about them, rang all appropriate people, police hands are tied won't do anything, the housing body wont do anything, Hell DOCS won't even step in over the welfare issues of the children there.....


Cheers.

Try the Human Rights Commission....trust me, they are a powerful body to lodge a complaint with.

Trekster I feel for you, stuck between a rock & a hard place. Part of what makes the situation so hard is the feeling like you have no choice in what you can do because the the choices are so limited & unpalatable.
I’m gonna make a some suggestions but I don’t expect you to be enthusiastic about them, particularly the third one.

First one might help, & is probably worth a try. Although you have made previous complaints & reports about your concerns over what is going on next door, I wonder if you could support future reports with video evidence whether this might be enough to get the authorities to act. Showing kids out of control & in risky situations. However filming would need to be done without the knowledge of the next door tenants or it would likely just make things worse. No guarantees that this course of action would get the authoties to act, but at least having a thought out strategy would help you & your wife to feel that thre is something you can do, which is really important ..... & it might help. Just document events & report when you have built up a body of evidence.

Secondly (& potentially in conjunction with the first), I wonder if there may be any value in a concerned but measured & respectful approach to the local aboriginal elders in your area in the hope that if they shared your concerns that they might be able to have some influence over your tenants. I don’t know how you would go about this in your area, & it may take time. My limited experience with aboriginal folk is that time is important in establishing a trusting relationship.

Thirdly, things may get to a point where you decide that it is better to cut your losses & leave rather than to continue living in a situation which constantly drives you down. Accepting such loss would be painful, but staying in the situation feeling helpless is likely to be more painful. Once out of the situation, you would likely feel angry about the loss you had to take, but it wouldn’t be long before you were once again feeling in control of your lives, albeit having to ‘start again’. It’s not fair, but it might be your best option. Continuing to live in this situation which affects all of you clearly isn’t doing you or your family any favours, so if other strategies don’t help, then an early rather than late decision for you & your wife to do what’s best for your kids may be the best thing.

Mate I’m just thinking aloud & feeling for you. I pretty much expect that if you come back to me on this post it will be with a ‘Yes but” response, most folk would, but if I’ve sown even just the smallest seed of hope for a pathway out of this shitty situation, it’ll have been worth it even if it’s hard to recognise right now.

regards
Cuppa.

To me all of your post sounds like a well thought out response, thanks Cuppa, you have obviously though a lot about this.

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Originally Posted by Cuppa

Just document events & report when you have built up a body of evidence. Cuppa.

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My wife works on the fringes with people like your neighbour's (all races and backgrounds). She has said the same, document every thing you can and as accurate as possible.
Best of luck there mate.

That's a great post Cuppa. I think particularly the idea about approaching local elders respectfully is a very good suggestion.

I've also been thinking about what Mudnut posted and I think the moving out and renting option would be better in the short term (if you decide to move) than selling up and buying again.
A few reasons:
1. You potentially put yourself in a better tax situation and then have the opportunity to negatively gear the property (you will have to pay tax on any capital gain though when you do finally sell).
2. At the moment in most situations by renting you can free up cash flow that would otherwise be disappearing into the mortgage but because you're negatively gearing your interest payments can become a tax deduction (you might get a start on making up the 75k the bastards at the bank are denying you or build up more equity in the house).
3. It also gives time for your neighbours to move out or for you to resolve the problem before selling your property.

I also reckon you should speak to a few different banks and particularly credit unions. We used the VTU credit union for a previous loan and they were excellent people to deal with. Very flexible, low rates and will treat you with respect......generally unlike a bank (a credit union may also take your sh!tty situation into account and assist with finding a financial solution for you)

Another option to help out on the loan front is interest only loan.. It's not ideal for paying a house Off for obvious reasons but could claw back some of that lost money due to the Family changes.

The more I think about it I reckon you have to change banks.
Our bank has never asked us about kids. In fact the last time I dropped into the bank with the wife was the first time anyone has asked us in my entire lending history......and that was more of a "how do you do?" than anything probing.......
I get that in theory with kids now you have less cash to service a loan but the banks actuaries should have factored that in on day one when assessing the original finance......a young couple+home loan = kids generally at some point......

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Originally Posted by Cuppa

Thirdly, things may get to a point where you decide that it is better to cut your losses & leave rather than to continue living in a situation which constantly drives you down. Accepting such loss would be painful, but staying in the situation feeling helpless is likely to be more painful. Once out of the situation, you would likely feel angry about the loss you had to take, but it wouldn’t be long before you were once again feeling in control of your lives, albeit having to ‘start again’. It’s not fair, but it might be your best option. Continuing to live in this situation which affects all of you clearly isn’t doing you or your family any favours, so if other strategies don’t help, then an early rather than late decision for you & your wife to do what’s best for your kids may be the best thing.

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This really would have to be the last option 2 take, I feel for you as I have great neighbours now, we did go through a 6 month stage when we first moved in that one of our neighbours was abusive to his dog which was hard to listen 2. Lucky for us he moved out 6 months after we go here.

Up and moving may also not solve your problems either sorry to say, there is no guarantee your new neighbours won't be neighbours from hell also.

Maybe you should move down 2 VIC and buy cuppa's place, I here its going cheap and there is no close neighbours :)

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Originally Posted by NissanGQ4.2

This really would have to be the last option 2 take, I feel for you as I have great neighbours now, we did go through a 6 month stage when we first moved in that one of our neighbours was abusive to his dog which was hard to listen 2. Lucky for us he moved out 6 months after we go here.

Up and moving may also not solve your problems either sorry to say, there is no guarantee your new neighbours won't be neighbours from hell also.

Maybe you should move down 2 VIC and buy cuppa's place, I here its going cheap and there is no close neighbours :)

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And the neighbours we do have are top shelf.

If you think negative gearing is an option, get advise 1st.
You may not be able to transfer the property to an investment. Your bank might not accept the change to the type of loan, interest rates may change as well.
Also I was told you can only claim a tax deduction if the interest and outgoings exceeds the income.
It has to cost you more than you make, the principle is not in the equation.
I am in no way sure about this, but be informed before setting your mind on that type of solution.

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Originally Posted by macca

Also I was told you can only claim a tax deduction if the interest and outgoings exceeds the income.
It has to cost you more than you make, the principle is not in the equation.
I am in no way sure about this, but be informed before setting your mind on that type of solution.

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That is pretty much right and absolutely, you should always get advice on such things from your accountant.
Just chucking ideas out there to show there is more than one way to skin the cat.

Rang a mate today , been a while but just chatting in general and noticed his tone was different.
So said SUP bro and yes he is a plumber self employed and lately seems with all the work etc he cant see the rewards what with taxs, etc'
So I've reminded him of our previous VENT sessions up Tallarook. what we do is light a fire and vent till the esky is empty. Get it all off your chest.
Seems to work, the hangover is extra

I am so sick of people.......... f%$king fed up and sometimes it is bloody hard to stay chipper when the world is full of selfish lying cheating scum!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!

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Originally Posted by Bloodyaussie

I am so sick of people.......... f%$king fed up and sometimes it is bloody hard to stay chipper when the world is full of selfish lying cheating scum!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!

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You alright mate?

As long as everyone gets what THEY want!!!!

Tell me people are you the type of person that steals ,cheats, parks in handicap spacers, drives up the left side and jams in in front of traffic.............. dont let people in at blocked intersections, dumps all your rubbish in that vacant block, speeds up to block someone from changing lanes, is your pal when they want something........ fark I could go on and on.. yeah I know " Harden the f$%k up".

I think I am tired???

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Originally Posted by Bloodyaussie

As long as everyone gets what THEY want!!!!

Tell me people are you the type of person that steals ,cheats, parks in handicap spacers, drives up the left side and jams in in front of traffic.............. dont let people in at blocked intersections, dumps all your rubbish in that vacant block, speeds up to block someone from changing lanes, is your pal when they want something........ fark I could go on and on.. yeah I know " Harden the f$%k up".

I think I am tired???

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And for some reason breaking peoples legs is frowned upon by authorities