Originally Posted by
Cuppa
One thing that can make a big difference to somebody who is feeling at the point of no return is to ask them if they are thinking of harming themselves. Sounds like common sense, but is not a question commonly asked, presumably because folk are scared of what the answer might be, most likely because they are worried they wont know what to say or do if the answer is yes.
From experience in my past professional life asking the question helps. Letting go of the secret is often a relief. With it out in the open, the person doing the asking can provide a lot just by being there, & ‘hanging in’ with the suicidal person. Ask questions, How long, how often have you been feeling like this? How have you planned to kill yourself. i.e.. don’t try to minimise it by saying it’s silly, or that they are wrong & that everything is really ok. Hear them by being genuinely interested, AND be prepared to stay with them if either they or you don’t feel they are safe........ even if they tell you they will be ok, YOU decide, don’t just take there word for it........ for as long as it takes. Get help to manage their safety. Friends, family, professionals. It’s a big responsibility being a mate & if you shirk it, you might live to regret it. When my best mate told me he was thinking of killing himself I cried, right there in front of him, there was him feeling worthless & me suddenly vey fearful of losing him. Looking back I like to think that my reaction played a part in helping him understand that whilst he was feeling worthless that others valued him & wanted him around.
