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I can't stop laughing to this! I hate shallow people and love evil cats! :DQuote:
Originally Posted by Wine_maker
They both suck the life out of you Plassy, only in it selfishly for themselves I says Mate [emoji23]Quote:
Originally Posted by Plasnart
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She's been a bit blowy today :)
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An American decided to write a book about famous churches around the world. So he bought a plane ticket and took a trip to Orlando, thinking that he would start by working his way across the USA from South to North. On his first day he was inside a church taking photographs when he noticed golden telephone mounted on the wall with a sign that read "$10,000 per call".
The American, being intrigued, asked a priest who was strolling by what the telephone was used for. The priest replied that it was a direct line to heaven and that for $10,000 you could talk to God.
The American thanked the priest and went along his way. Next stop was in Atlanta. There, at a very large cathedral, he saw the same golden telephone with the same sign under it. He wondered if this was the same kind of telephone he saw in Orlando and he asked a nearby nun what its purpose was. She told him that it was a direct line to heaven and that for $10,000 he could talk to God. "O.K., thank you," said the American.
He then traveled to Indianapolis, Washington DC, Philadelphia, Boston, and New York. In every church he saw the same golden telephone with the same "$10,000 per call" sign under it. The American, upon leaving Vermont decided to travel to AUSTRALIA to see if Australians had the same phone.
He arrived in Australia, and again, in the first church he entered, there was the same golden telephone, but this time the sign under it read "40 cents per call." The American was surprised so he asked the priest about the sign. "Father, I've traveled all over America and I've seen this same golden telephone in many churches. I'm told that it is a direct line to Heaven, but in the US the price was $10,000 per call. Why is it so cheap here?"
The priest smiled and answered, "You're in Australia now, son - it's a local call".
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It is a hacknayed joke but it is funny. "Smiles' is the longest word in English. Because there is a whole mile between the 1st and the last letters.
This funny bugger made my day. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=23FCd1L9bDE
I bought a cold slab of beer yesterday and on the way home, stopped at a servo for diesel.
There was a gorgeous redhead at the same bowser, filling her car. It was a stinking day and while at the pump, I thought that I should have put the beers in the car fridge straight away. So, after fuelling up and paying, I moved the vehicle to a parking area and proceeded to place the beers in the Engel.
Just then, the redhead walked out of the servo, saw the cold beers, came over and said, in an amazingly sexy voice " I'm a great believer in barter so, would you be interested in trading sex for beer?'
I thought for a second or two and then asked ' What kind of beer do you have?'
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Only the finest will do of course. .
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