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Attachment 77187
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Attachment 77188
husband wondering what to get his wife of 40 years for xmas as has run out of ideas, so says to wife:
husband: "Darling, what would you like for a xmas present?"
After a few minutes, wife replies: "A divorce"
Husband replies: "Oh, I wasn't planning on spending that much"
Even my darling wife of 42 years liked this joke and sent it to all her friends and said to me "don't you forget it!" :)
I replied "No worries love. When we were younger, you couldn't afford to divorce me as you would have got half the debt!
Now things are different, so I understand"
cheers and wishing everyone a healthy , happy and prosperous 2019, although at my age, I will just settle for the healthy! lol.
john
Nice isn't it?
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They're both good mate, lifted or not. :)Quote:
Originally Posted by Wine_maker
I was walking down the street when I was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless man who asked me for a couple of dollars for dinner.
I took out my wallet, extracted ten dollars and asked,"If I give you this money, will you buy some beer with it instead of dinner?"
"No, I had to stop drinking years ago," the homeless man replied.
"Will you use it to go fishing instead of buying food?" I asked.
"No, I don't waste time fishing," the homeless man said.."I need to spend all my time trying to stay alive."
"Will you spend this on hunting equipment?" I asked.
"Are you NUTS!" replied the homeless man. "I haven't gone hunting in 20 years!"
"Well," I said, "I'm not going to give you money. Instead, I'm going to take you home for a shower and a terrific dinner cooked by my wife."
The homeless man was astounded. "Won't your wife be furious with you for doing that?
I replied, "Don't worry about that. It's important for her to see what a man looks like after he has given up drinking, fishing and hunting."
One noise against another
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Two rusted frames is better than one
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Alphabet
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Rust bucket now that's funny .
Hey Winemaker does this sound like a diesel motor being started in the cold ?
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=DfIc5CX7mF4
That's briliant GQtdauto!
Where did you find our local news report?
Actually, it's a vocal warm-up and not a routine Kazakh language. But its best! :smileyvault-cute-bi
Someone posted it to YouTube asking if it sounded like a cold Diesel engine being started which it does sort of , good to know he is just testing the vocals winemaker .Quote:
Originally Posted by Wine_maker
Lmfao ...Quote:
Originally Posted by GQtdauto
I just spent last 10 minutes trying to take a breath after laughing at this ...
My wife thought I was gonna die .
One of the funniest memes I've seen forever . Hahahahaha
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Was going to buy one of these but realised I already had one .
https://www.ebay.com.au/i/2532028569...b2e9fdfff54b57
Quote:
Originally Posted by GQtdauto
Mine can hold more beer than that one.
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Attachment 77890
Queensland drivers must be shit if they have to install traffic lights at roundabouts.
Attachment 77912
https://youtu.be/_TkxDa4rKnI
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@GQtdauto There`s one round about in Bunbury, that has a set of lights. Slightly larger in size as the one mentioned and it may be a new trend to see how they can spend money weirdly. I can see why they did it, as there was the odd dingle from time to time.
Roundabouts simples , give way to the right , they keep the flow of traffic going and get rid of traffic lights .Quote:
Originally Posted by Ghosts
mate some one should tell the poms about that. they put multiple sets of lights on a roundabout.
Obviously some one out there still doesn`t understand them, or the govt wanted to spend some cash to create another job for some one.Quote:
Originally Posted by GQtdauto
I know there were a few accidents on that round about and that`s the reason why the lights put in, I heard. But I do agree they are simple to use.
In NSW you have to give way to a vehicle already on the roundabout. Even if you are on their right - you still must give way.Quote:
Originally Posted by GQtdauto
Old sign from an auto parts place near home ...
Attachment 77941
Is the joke the price, or the picture of the finished piece?
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The cover pic vs the product.Quote:
Originally Posted by Winnie
Jamie used to say "why buy it from the shop in packets when you can whip up your own in no time at home, lovely jubbly.."
You have betrayed me James.
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Selling shit to the masses. At least Ronald McDonald was fictional and never pretended to be a good food crusader.Quote:
Originally Posted by taslucas
They totally pretend to be good food crusadersQuote:
Originally Posted by Plasnart
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Haven't lived there in 16 years so things may we'll have changed but initially lights were put in place and only in use during peak rush hour times and were not used at any other times.Quote:
Originally Posted by garett
Have you played on this one yet?
https://youtu.be/6OGvj7GZSIo
@Plasnart I was looking at a couple of packets of the said product in Woolies, that were marked down in price and thought the same of picture and actual product. At least they can do, is to show some respect for the chook that died and match it to the picture.
The supermarkets now stooping to Mc Garbage photography bullshit. Jamie Oliver is either a sellout or has cause to sue Woolworths. Who would agree go sell that shit with their face on the pack??Quote:
Originally Posted by Ghosts
Alas, I believe Jamie's a sell out! And I used to really like him 15 years agoQuote:
Originally Posted by Plasnart
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But he cares for kid's canteen menus, and Woolworths are the fresh food people. Haha! :DQuote:
Originally Posted by taslucas
His super foods series was cool.
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should check out the either direction roundabout thingy in hemal Hempstead.Quote:
Originally Posted by Clunk
https://www.google.com/maps/@51.7462.../data=!3m1!1e3
20 years of hard work stolen by criminal accountants. Now it is all about getting quick money to get back on top.Quote:
Originally Posted by Plasnart
Same principle but on a larger scale.Quote:
Originally Posted by garett
I thought the joke was that it is a dead animal, but RSPCA approved. Oh the hypocrisy.Quote:
Originally Posted by Plasnart