How far east can you go before you're heading west?
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How far east can you go before you're heading west?
Nobody's perfect and I'm nobody
Confucius says....................... Early morning boredom makes for some bizarre postings on forums.
You can tell it's getting cold, when the homie kids start pulling their jeans up.
A good traveler has no fixed plans, and is not intent on arriving.
~Lao Tzu
Holiday Eating Tips
1. Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet table knows nothing of the Holiday spirit. In fact, if you see carrots, leave immediately. Go next door, where they’re serving rum balls.
2. Drink as much eggnog as you can. And quickly. It’s rare… You cannot find it any other time of year but now. So drink up! Who cares that it has 10,000 calories in every sip? It’s not as if you’re going to turn into an eggnog-alcoholic or something. It’s a treat. Enjoy it. Have one for me. Have two. It’s later than you think. It’s Christmas!
3. If something comes with gravy, use it. That’s the whole point of gravy. Gravy does not stand alone. Pour it on. Make a volcano out of your mashed potatoes. Fill it with gravy. Eat the volcano. Repeat.
4. As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they’re made with skim milk or whole milk. If it’s skim, pass. Why bother? It’s like buying a sports car with an automatic transmission.
5. Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort to control your eating. The whole point of going to a Holiday party is to eat other people’s food for free. Lots of it. Hello?
6. Under no circumstances should you exercise between now and New Year’s. You can do that in January when you have nothing else to do. This is the time for long naps, which you’ll need after circling the buffet table while carrying a 10-pound plate of food and that vat of eggnog.
7. If you come across something really good at a buffet table, like frosted Christmas cookies in the shape and size of Santa, position yourself near them and don’t budge. Have as many as you can before becoming the center of attention. They’re like a beautiful pair of shoes. If you leave them behind, you’re never going to see them again.
8. Same for pies. Apple , Pumpkin , Mincemeat. Have a slice of each. Or if you don’t like mincemeat, have two apples and one pumpkin. Always have three. When else do you get to have more than one dessert? Labor Day ?
9. Did someone mention fruitcake? Granted, it’s loaded with the mandatory celebratory calories, but avoid it at all cost. I mean, have some standards.
10. One final tip: If you don’t feel terrible when you leave the party or get up from the table, you haven’t been paying attention. Re-read tips; start over, but hurry, January is just around the corner. Remember this motto to live by:
“Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand and wine in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming “WOO HOO what a ride!”
Someones got tooooooooo much time on their hands.....lol good one Paul
When we see persons of worth, we should think of equaling them; when we see persons of a contrary character, we should turn inwards and examine ourselves.
~Confucius
“Three phrases that sum up Christmas are:
Peace on Earth, Goodwill to Men,
and Batteries not Included.”
~ Author Unknown
True laziness is being excited when plans get canceled.
- A woman drove me to drink ... and I didn't even have the decency to thank her!
Confucius say.......................He who thinks only of number one must remember this number is next to nothing!
Every time you kiss, you exchange DNA, fats, mineral salts and proteins - plus between 1 and 10 billion bacteria - with the recipient of your kiss.
Confucius says....................... A quiet Man is simply in deep thought , where as a quiet Woman is hatching a plan
Growler say man with hangover doesn't like sitting in airports:-)
“A smile is the light
in the window of your face
that tells people you’re at home.”
~ Author Unknown
When anger rises, think of the consequences.
~ Confucius
Growler say man with hangover must find bar in Melbourne airport to cure all
He who thinks only of number one will soon be reminded that number two, while generally less urgent, is at least as important! :-)Quote:
Originally Posted by snicko
Leadership: The art of getting someone else to do something you want done because he wants to do it.
Confucius say.......................Baseball is wrong: man with four balls cannot walk.
Growlers bet you to that one a few pages backQuote:
Originally Posted by snicko
Growlers is good!! Not here and still beats me!! hahahahaha
How about this one.....
Confucius says.......................Man who fly airplane upside-down bound to have crack up.
If you try and don't succeed, cheat.
Repeat until caught, then lie.
I know I am not perfect... but its scary how close I am!
"Unknown" But it sound a lot like a growlers comment............hahahahahahaha
We're all born small and weak. We all grow old and weak. What you do in between, is up to you.
Hanh Champion
The longer you wait for the future the shorter it will be.
Beau Evans
"Friends will keep you sane, Love could fill your heart, A lover can warm your bed, But lonely is the soul without a mate."
~ David Pratt
Strewth Snicko I got a headache thinking about that hahahaha
The ability to be happy is nothing other than the ability to come to terms with how things change.
Instead of being concerned that you have no office, be concerned to think how you may fit yourself for office. Instead of being concerned that you are not known, see to the (be?) worthy of being known.
~Confucius
Cross country skiing is great if you live in a small country.
~Steven Wright
Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.
~Mark Twain
Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.
~George Burns
And the last from me for the year.
I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day.
~Frank Sinatra
“Many people look forward to the New Year
for a new start of old habits.”
~ Author Unknown
This will probably be my final one for the year............... depending on how much I have to drink of course!!!!!!!
"Never regret anything because at one time it was exactly what you wanted!!!!"
~ unknown
How many of us go through life holding onto a belief that we cannot do something, simply because we failed at it once before? How many of us refuse to attempt something new and challenging because of our so called mindset?
Your attempt may fail, but never fail to make an attempt and choose not to accept the false boundaries and limitations created by the past.
when I decide 2 stop drinking, my heads is going 2 start hurting!
~ Author: The drunken bum typing this post :)