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  1. Thread: The Joke Thread

    by Spock
    Replies
    1,797
    Views
    611,822

    What is a 710? No, it’s not like another number...

    What is a 710?
    No, it’s not like another number you know!

    A few days ago I was having some work done at my local garage. A blonde came in and asked for a seven-hundred- ten.

    We all looked...
  2. Thread: The Joke Thread

    by Spock
    Replies
    1,797
    Views
    611,822

    Some more Quickies for you. My neighbour...

    Some more Quickies for you.

    My neighbour knocked on my door at 2:30am this morning.......can you believe that....... 2:30am?!
    Luckily for him I was still up playing my Bagpipes.

    I sat on the...
  3. Thread: The Joke Thread

    by Spock
    Replies
    1,797
    Views
    611,822

    Last month a world-wide survey was conducted by...

    Last month a world-wide survey was conducted by the UN.


    The only question asked was: "Could you please give your honest opinion about solutions to the food shortage in the rest of the world?"...
  4. Thread: The Joke Thread

    by Spock
    Replies
    1,797
    Views
    611,822

    A woman goes into Myer to buy a rod and reel for...

    A woman goes into Myer to buy a rod and reel for her grandson's birthday.
    She doesn't know which one to get, so she just grabs one and goes over to
    The counter.
    The Myer salesman is standing...
  5. Thread: The Joke Thread

    by Spock
    Replies
    1,797
    Views
    611,822

    The French President is sitting in his office...

    The French President is sitting in his office when his telephone rings.
    'Hallo, Mr. Sarkozy!' a heavily accented voice said. 'This is Paddy down at the Harp Pub in County Clare , Ireland . I am...
  6. Thread: The Joke Thread

    by Spock
    Replies
    1,797
    Views
    611,822

    The ATO decides to audit Grandpa, and summons him...

    The ATO decides to audit Grandpa, and summons him to the ATO
    office.

    The auditor was not surprised when Grandpa showed up with
    his attorney.

    The auditor said, Well, sir, you have an...
  7. Thread: The Joke Thread

    by Spock
    Replies
    1,797
    Views
    611,822

    A blonde woman was speeding down the road in her...

    A blonde woman was speeding down the road in her little red sports car and was pulled over by a woman police officer who was also a blonde.

    The blonde cop asked to see the blonde driver's...
  8. Thread: The Joke Thread

    by Spock
    Replies
    1,797
    Views
    611,822

    Apologies to any Irish members, couldn't help...

    Apologies to any Irish members, couldn't help myself...



    Well, 'daylight saving' had just ended and in the early hours of that morning
    Paddy found his dyslectic mate, Seamus, covering his...
  9. Thread: The Joke Thread

    by Spock
    Replies
    1,797
    Views
    611,822

    AND FOR MY 100th POST ...... A teacher is...

    AND FOR MY 100th POST ......



    A teacher is explaining biology to her 4th grade students.
    "Human beings are the only animals that stutter,' she says

    A little girl raises her hand. 'I had a...
  10. Thread: The Joke Thread

    by Spock
    Replies
    1,797
    Views
    611,822

    Important message - New Gov't Programs Due to...

    Important message - New Gov't Programs

    Due to the current financial situation caused by the slowdown in the

    economy, The Gillard government has decided to implement a scheme to put

    workers...
  11. Thread: The Joke Thread

    by Spock
    Replies
    1,797
    Views
    611,822

    The Seven Dwarfs go to the Vatican and, because...

    The Seven Dwarfs go to the Vatican and, because they have requested an audience, and as they are THE Seven Dwarfs, they are ushered in to see the Pope. Dopey leads the pack.

    "Dopey, my son," says...
  12. Thread: The Joke Thread

    by Spock
    Replies
    1,797
    Views
    611,822

    An Australian Love Poem (Who said Australians...

    An Australian Love Poem
    (Who said Australians weren't romantic?)

    Of course I love ya darling
    You're a bloody top notch bird
    And when I say you're gorgeous
    I mean every single word

    So...
  13. Thread: The Joke Thread

    by Spock
    Replies
    1,797
    Views
    611,822

    I was lying on the sofa watching TV when I heard...

    I was lying on the sofa watching TV when I heard my first wife's voice from the kitchen :


    "What would you like for dinner sweetie....chicken, beef or lamb ?"


    I said, "Thank you ; I'll...
  14. Thread: The Joke Thread

    by Spock
    Replies
    1,797
    Views
    611,822

    Coyote Population The Alberta Government and the...

    Coyote Population
    The Alberta Government and the Alberta Forest Service were presenting
    an alternative to Alberta ranchers for controlling the coyote population.
    It seems that after years of the...
  15. Replies
    91
    Views
    31,159

    Another chapter in the Spock homestead..... ...

    Another chapter in the Spock homestead.....



    STUN GUN


    Don't buy your lovely wife a "pocket Taser" for your anniversary.

    Last weekend I saw something at Bairnsdale Pawn Shop that...
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