PMC hospital up-date!

[PMC]

Farkkkk, it has been one eventful day again for me to say the least. lol

Firstly, the operation lasted 2 hours; unfortunately, I gave everybody a bloody scare. I failed to properly come out of the general aesthetic; apparently it took the hospital staff in the recovery room 3 hours to get me back into the land of the living. I had lapsed into a temporary coma.

Secondly, my family were devastated when they were informed that I might not recover at all. The Coffs Harbour RSL sent a padre to help support my wife. My mum was devastated.

Farkk, personally I do not know what all the bloody fuss was about, I cannot remember a bloody thing!

Thirdly, later this evening both the Surgeon and Anesthetise informed my wife and I that I cannot go under another general aesthetic for at least another 12 months, because there is a real possibility that I might never recover, in other words (I could pop my farken clogs, end up at the promise land or down stairs cleaning the dishes.) lol

Apparently the more times you have a general aesthetic, your chances of bloody survival decrease. So far this little black duck has had 21 operations in the last 3 years. I now have been given a formal written letter by the hospital stating that I have fallen into a very high risk category of not recovering at all from another operation, if I was to have another one this year.

Well Farkk me swinging Trendsetters, I cannot win a bloody trick when I received that news.

Then the farken drama started again folks, (why me o’lord) after the op I had difficulty urinating again, Yes the usual suspect the bloody morphine had hindered me taking a piss again.

You won’t believe my farken luck folks, out of all the pissing nurses to get the job of inserting the bloody catheter into the eye of the WANG, yep you guessed it. IT WAS FARKEN BUTCH the dreaded Arnold Schwarzenegger looking lesbian nurse with a moustache.

As previously stated once before, I am not saying that she is an ugly lass, but it would not surprise me if that both Butch and BloodyAussie worked in the same area at the Arnott’s biscuit factory years ago where the pair of them had their faces slammed into the dough to make farken Gorilla biscuit’s. lol

Folks, there has to be an international law preventing the WANG from being violated (Violently) by a brutish looking lesbian nurses. Lol,

I literally shite myself when she turned up. Her first words to me was “you again” I replied in a mouse like squeakily voice “yes” followed by a quick gulp!
With a look of sheer ecstasy on her face, she then said, “well you know the drill soldier boy”

Suddenly with-out warning she grabs or should I say, jungle gripped the poor ole WANG, nearly strangling the poor farker to death. Armed and ready, Butch proceeded with delight by slamming into the “EYE OF THE WANG” the 2 foot nylon catheter, I swear the bitch took to the catheter with a farken rasping file before she brought into my room. (Roughing up the edges)

I let out the traditional farkken Geeee susssssssssssssssssessss, type scream. “There” she said, “all done”.

Folks, all I wanted to do was to tell her to farkk-off, however, common sense prevailed me to bite my bloody tongue! The last thing I wanted was Butch to launch an early morning rear end type assault/attack, armed with a needle and the fantastic plastic (the dreaded strap-on!)

I am currently sleeping with one eye closed in combat mode! lol

PS, Farkk, do any of our members sell Lucky-Charms? I need one ASAP!

Kind regards

PMC
:cheers:

[NP99]

Good read mate. You're not ready to be taken from us :) stay focused, all the best to you and Ally , Paul.
(Donna asks about you on a regular basis)
Shane.

[PMC]

Good read mate. You're not ready to be taken from us :) stay focused, all the best to you and Ally , Paul.
(Donna asks about you on a regular basis)
Shane.

Thanks mate!

Kind regards,

Paul

[MudRunnerTD]

Glad you came through mate, did they indicate how the actual surgery went? Hope you don't need anymore hey!!

[PMC]

Glad you came through mate, did they indicate how the actual surgery went? Hope you don't need anymore hey!!

G'evening Darren,

Farkkk, your to blame for the latest operation. lol

This operation was on my hernia whare my bowel bag used to be. I stuffed my bowel by removing the two diffs that I purchased from you in March. I did this by lifting the farkers from the boot of my wife's car and then placing them both on my workshop bench.

The diffs are still sitting on my bench as I have not been able to work on the Patrol due to me being ill.

PS, My stupid fault mate!

Kind regards,

Paul

[jack]

After reading that I can tell your on the road to recovery. Still laughing!

[93patrol]

Good to see your doing your best Schumacher impersonation by sleeping through.


Glad your alright though mate and you have some wits about you. Good luck with tangling with Butch again. I think they knew your a tough barstool so they sent in the big guns to sort you out.

Get well mate and finish that bloody car

[NissanGQ4.2]

Personally I think you like going back in so the butch bitch can tackle ur poor ole WANG.

Stay strong Paul

[growler2058]

Hope that's it for you mate
I'll see if I can find any lucky charms while I'm away this month for you.

[PMC]

Hope that's it for you mate
I'll see if I can find any lucky charms while I'm away this month for you.

Good onya growler, I need all the bloody help. lol

Regards,

Paul

[Bloodyaussie]

G'evening Darren,

Farkkk, your to blame for the latest operation. lol

This operation was on my hernia whare my bowel bag used to be. I stuffed my bowel by removing the two diffs that I purchased from you in March. I did this by lifting the farkers from the boot of my wife's car and then placing them both on my workshop bench.

The diffs are still sitting on my bench as I have not been able to work on the Patrol due to me being ill.

PS, My stupid fault mate!

Kind regards,

Paul

You bozo.... I have learnt that where possible I will get help to lift from a mate a quick phone call away or ask the strong fit 18 year old lad across the road...

We are not the 10 men we used to be so in future dont be afraid to ask for a quick hand.. now pull yourself together man you are a mess... lol .

[NP99]

He has always asked for a quick hand.... :)
Yeah mate, you're only as strong as 9 men now, so ask.

[PMC]

You bozo.... I have learnt that where possible I will get help to lift from a mate a quick phone call away or ask the strong fit 18 year old lad across the road...

We are not the 10 men we used to be so in future dont be afraid to ask for a quick hand.. now pull yourself together man you are a mess... lol .

So true Bloodyaussie,

The mind said yes and the body said no. lol

PS, that's what happens when you have a dick-brain moment!

Regards,

Paul

[PMC]

G'day Lounge Lizards,

If you folks would like to have a chat, call me on 02 6659-4577 this is my direct hospital room number. I will be here till Tuesday. So please feel free and call, I could use the camaraderie.

PS, if you ring and I do not answer straight away, I am more than likely having a crap. Wait 10 then call again.

Regards,

Paul

[Sir Roofy]

Talk about a tough nut be brave mate the butch
is on to you
glad alls well paul hope to see you in the future

[Avo]

Farrrrk mate...bet you don't know whether to sleep on ya stomach or ya back..you'll be Farked if sausages and butch walk in together..One eye open and one with a straw in it..Poor man....feel for your family mate,get well and hang in there hey..

[threedogs]

main thing is your still here and breathing and that is a blessing in itself.
need you out of hospital so I can go in so do what the big biatch says
looks like you have a great support team around you

[PMC]

G'day folks,

Thanks for the moral boosting phone calls today gents, I really appreciated the conversations.

It was good to here from you Jack, Paul, AB and a special call from Macca (Iain). I am glad to inform everyone that Macca is coming back to the forum.

My apologies to the other person that called has I have forgotten your name.

PS, those bloody meds.

Regards,

Paul

[MEGOMONSTER]

G'day folks, Thanks for the moral boosting phone calls today gents, I really appreciated the conversations. It was good to here from you Jack, Paul, AB and a special call from Macca (Iain). I am glad to inform everyone that Macca is coming back to the forum. My apologies to the other person that called has I have forgotten your name. PS, those bloody meds. Regards, Paul Glad to see your spirits are high.
Or is that the meds. Lol

[Cuppa]

Next time you think you are the circus strongman, just think of butch. Pleased to hear that it was only a hernia repair you went in for, could've been worse eh? Having had one of those myself (a hernia repair, not a butch), I now tend to be a bit more careful than I used to be, but even so still find myself taking occasional stupid risks & suffering afterwards for it.
I spoke with Macca this morning too, he tells me that you have been instrumental in his decision to return to the forum. For that I thank you, I've missed him here.

[PMC]

Next time you think you are the circus strongman, just think of butch. Pleased to hear that it was only a hernia repair you went in for, could've been worse eh? Having had one of those myself (a hernia repair, not a butch), I now tend to be a bit more careful than I used to be, but even so still find myself taking occasional stupid risks & suffering afterwards for it.
I spoke with Macca this morning too, he tells me that you have been instrumental in his decision to return to the forum. For that I thank you, I've missed him here.

G'day Cuppa,

Depression and stress causes us all to do and say things that are out of kilter at the time. Time is a healer for certain situations and a break away from whatever the situation was that causes a melt down is a good thing.

At the end of the day we are human beings and not machines.

PS, at present I am on the phone with Scott (husky) it is good to chat with Scott.

Regards,

Paul

[macca]

Thank you Paul, was good to speak to you today as it was to catch up with Roofy and Cuppa.
Andy was good enough to help me log back on, I understand he is rather busy today with a show? thanks for that.
I have only read this thread so far and mate wish you all the best. Hope you don't need a general again! And the hyperbaric does it's magic.
Time is a healer, conversation winds the spring. Thanks for all the chats Paul.
Now time needs to heal you, all our best thoughts from Old Bar from Pauly & me.
And mate if your gunna lift a faarrrkin diff give me a call I'm only 2.5 hours away!!!

[NP99]

You have been on the phone all day :), I'll try again tomorrow mate. Cheers

[TPC]

Glad to hear you survived Paul and have not lost your sense of humour.

[BigRAWesty]

Bahahahahahaha.. Brilliant read as always mate..
But fark me..
You can't catch a brake hay.. And them to get Butch... Bahahahahahaha.. You woulda been paying for a cold breeze and an innie.. Lol

Hang in there ya tough nut.

[mudnut]

I got into trouble because I was laughing as I was reading your post. Mate, it's good to see your warped sense of humour hasn't diminished. Take it easy, hey, because I'm sure you've entertained Butch enough.

[PMC]

G'evening folks,

I am knackered, time to go to sleep. Thank goodness Butch is not working tonight.

PS, once again thanks for your kind phone calls.

Regards,

Paul

[AB]

G'evening folks,

I am knackered, time to go to sleep. Thank goodness Butch is not working tonight.

PS, once again thanks for your kind phone calls.

Regards,

Paul

After our chat mate queenscliff would be a huge winner for me if we can swing that over chrissy mate.

Rest up and sort your health out!!!!!

[PMC]

After our chat mate queenscliff would be a huge winner for me if we can swing that over chrissy mate.

Rest up and sort your health out!!!!!

Great news AB,

That's the plan we will run with!

Kind regards,

Paul

[NP99]

One can only imagine what dreams young Paul is having now...

[TPC]

One can only imagine what dreams young Paul is having now...
He is probably dreaming that sausage fingers is giving him an rectal examination. (is it you he was referring to that has sausage fingers?)

[PMC]

One can only imagine what dreams young Paul is having now...

All about you chubby cheeks!

Woke up around 3.55am, unfortunately the bloody aesthetic pact that is now cannulated into the wound is farken wearing off big time.

PS, I woke up just when NP99 had me sitting on his lap (100kg of solid love beast) lol

Regards,

Paul

[macca]

Good morning Paul

[PMC]

Good morning Paul

G'day macca,

I note you only need 49 posts to hit your 2,000 mark. lol

Regards,

Paul

[macca]

That will take me a while Paul. LOL
Aside from waking early how are you travelling today?
Do they have you on a liquid diet, I know F-all about medical stuff!

[NP99]

All about you chubby cheeks!

Woke up around 3.55am, unfortunately the bloody aesthetic pact that is now cannulated into the wound is farken wearing off big time.

PS, I woke up just when NP99 had me sitting on his lap (100kg of solid love beast) lol

Regards,

Paul

116.8kg mate, I'm told I look slimmer in dreams though..... :)

[PMC]

G'day Lounge Lizards,

If you folks would like to have a chat, call me on 02 6659-4577 this is my direct hospital room number. I will be here till Tuesday. So please feel free and call, I could use the camaraderie.

PS, if you ring and I do not answer straight away, I am more than likely having a crap. Wait 10 then call again.

Regards,

Paul

G'day folks,

Just up-dating everyone that I will be getting discharged from hospital at 1300hrs (1.00pm) so I can continue my recovery at home.

The last 2 nights I have been sleep deprived (especially with Butch trying to have her wicked way with me) lol. No, the bloody single beds at the hospital are totally uncomfortable, I feel like I am being farken tortured.

Doc Sutherland has agreed for me to go home and rest-up.

So please folks no more calls after 1300hrs, unless some of you folks want to personally speak to Butch. lol

PS, I have just had a good conversation with Shane NP99, a special thanks again that called me over the last 2 days.

Kind regards,

Paul

[NP99]

Always good talking to you mate......your kind offer has won me many points, I'll talk in detail later with you. Cheers :)

[PMC]

G'day Trendsetters,

Sorry for the slow response, unfortunately I have been bed ridden for the last 27 hours. I think all the pain medication and general anaesthetic has taken its toll on me. Effetely my wife informed me that I slept 19 hours straight; woke-up had further medications and then slept another 8 hours. I finally arose around 10.00am this morning.

Anyhow it was great to leave hospital on Sunday afternoon, Thank goodness Butch was not on shift, I was dreading it was going to be her removing bloody booby-trapped catheter from the eye of the WANG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Ehhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!

Thank goodness, another nurse in her 30’s got the job, very empathetic, soft-warm hands, very gentle, spoke softly with a very effeminate reassuring voice, reminded me a lot of when I first met AB on the Cape Otway’s trip at Christmas. Lol

Anyhow made it home and finally collapsed in a heap my own bed, I have spent close to six months sleeping in hospital beds over the last 3 and half years in Brisbane, Coffs Harbour and Sydney, and unfortunately I can never get used to them.

There is nothing more comfortable than sleeping in your own fart-sack! I now been advised to take it easy for the next few months and I am thinking to myself, “I farken have for the last 3 years”. Tell me something different. Lol

PS, anyhow thanks for your kind support and phone calls, I really treasure your friendship.

Kind regards,

Paul

[Bloodyaussie]

So you slept through the cuddles I gave you.... you saying you dont remember??

[threedogs]

Good to see you are home, I'm never comfortable in hospital either.
Beds are crap, pillows are crap, temp is too cold no privacy even in a single room.
Best thing you can do is rest and by the sound of it you needed it

[mudnut]

Glad to read that you're home and on the mend, Paul. You should get an autographed photo of Butch. Hang it up in the shed, so next time you decide to lift anything heavy, by yourself, you'll get help.

[PMC]

So you slept through the cuddles I gave you.... you saying you dont remember??

I am so sorry Bloodyaussie, its not my fault that you lack in quality foreplay. lol

Regards,

Paul

[PMC]

Good to see you are home, I'm never comfortable in hospital either.
Beds are crap, pillows are crap, temp is too cold no privacy even in a single room.
Best thing you can do is rest and by the sound of it you needed it

You are so true about the pillows, however, the last two years I have brought my own in attempt to make myself more comfortable, however, that has failed because of the bloody beds.

Regards,

Paul

[PMC]

Glad to read that you're home and on the mend, Paul. You should get an autographed photo of Butch. Hang it up in the shed, so next time you decide to lift anything heavy, by yourself, you'll get help.

Mudnut,

That is a terrific idea! lol

Regards,

Paul

[Bloodyaussie]

I am so sorry Bloodyaussie, its not my fault that you lack in quality foreplay. lol

Regards,

Paul

What......there is plenty of quality there.. In fact I pride myself on the quality of my loving!!!!

You just so doped up you did not even notice the 3 gq comp trucks that drove through your bedroom

[PMC]

What......there is plenty of quality there.. In fact I pride myself on the quality of my loving!!!!

You just so doped up you did not even notice the 3 gq comp trucks that drove through your bedroom

Thanks Bloodyaussie,

I am starting to feel loved again! lol

Regards,

Paul

[NP99]

Glad to read that you're home and on the mend, Paul. You should get an autographed photo of Butch. Hang it up in the shed, so next time you decide to lift anything heavy, by yourself, you'll get help.

That would be Gina R. :)

[PMC]

That would be Gina R. :)

Are talking about loving or Pig Shooting. lol

Regards,

PMC

[NP99]

I'm getting a tingling sensation thinking about Gina :)