Quick I need a Respirator

[Gary Vansleve]

Currently heavily sedated with the missus at my bedside looking up my Super Statement to see how much I am worth if I should fall off the perch.

The reason for my predicament I had a wander down to the local Nissan Dealer to see if I could get a workshop manual for the new ute. They said yep and promptly told me there were 2 manauls one for the bod and one for the motor. Told me to take a seat offered me a coffee and got the receptionist with the low cut cleavage to get my coffee and then promptly told me the price $710.00 for one and $560.00 for the other.

I politely asked if this was a gee up while the receptionist was wiping the spilt coffee off my lap. They assured me it wasn't. I walked out the door in a daze and can't remember getting home. The last thing I remember before going to sleep was the missus with a big smile on her face while putting my super statement back in the folder.

[happygu]

Grab a Haynes Manual, Gregorys, or similar from your local auto shop.

These are only around $40 .....

or download the manuals from the site here.

Mic

[MudRunnerTD]

LMFAO!! I like you! Yeah mate grab the 1200page manual from here mate and then grab the supplements too. Download them to you iPad then feel free to go back into that dealer and show them how smart you are.

Lol

[MEGOMONSTER]

Currently heavily sedated with the missus at my bedside looking up my Super Statement to see how much I am worth if I should fall off the perch.

The reason for my predicament I had a wander down to the local Nissan Dealer to see if I could get a workshop manual for the new ute. They said yep and promtly told me there were 2 manauls one for the bod and one for the motor. Told me to take a seat offered me a coffee and got the receptionist with the low cut cleavage to get my coffee and then promptly told me the price $710.00 for one and $560.00 for the other.

I politely asked if this was a gee up while the receptionist was wiping the spilt coffee off my lap. They assured me it wasn't. I walked out the door in a daze and can't remember getting home. The last thing I remember before going to sleep was the missus with a big smile on her face while putting my super statement back in the folder.

This is one of the manuals from Nissan.
38877lol

[barnelly]

Hi Chuck here,
This made me laugh thanks people starts my day well.
My bike manuals all come from Haynes or off the etherer, $710 dollars would be like a kick between the knees, hope you have recovered.

[Hodge]

This is one of the manuals from Nissan.
38877lol

Hahaha this is the ZD30/CRD manual. Every page in there should be "Do not buy!" in large font print.

[Hodge]

Currently heavily sedated with the missus at my bedside looking up my Super Statement to see how much I am worth if I should fall off the perch.

The reason for my predicament I had a wander down to the local Nissan Dealer to see if I could get a workshop manual for the new ute. They said yep and promptly told me there were 2 manauls one for the bod and one for the motor. Told me to take a seat offered me a coffee and got the receptionist with the low cut cleavage to get my coffee and then promptly told me the price $710.00 for one and $560.00 for the other.

I politely asked if this was a gee up while the receptionist was wiping the spilt coffee off my lap. They assured me it wasn't. I walked out the door in a daze and can't remember getting home. The last thing I remember before going to sleep was the missus with a big smile on her face while putting my super statement back in the folder.

Hahah thanks for the laugh Gary. Needed something like this after the last few days.

[Bloodyaussie]

Wow... I had to read that twice to make sure I got it right. .

Does the manual come with a high class hooker for a week?

[macca]

http://www.ebay.com.au/itm/NISSAN-PATROL-GU-1998-2011-PETROL-DIESEL-4WD-SERVICE-REPAIR-WORKSHOP-MANUAL-/200981904158?pt=AU_Clothing_Merchandise_Media&hash=item2ecb747b1e

http://www.ebay.com.au/itm/Haynes-Owners-Service-Repair-Manual-Nissan-Patrol-GU-Petrol-Diesel-1998-2011-/201003726558?pt=AU_Clothing_Merchandise_Media&hash=item2eccc176de

Is that a bit better?

[AB]

I'm not sure how they can even comprehend to charge that much.

If I got half that from every manual downloaded I would be on a tropical island now sipping piña caladas!!!!

[Winnie]

Currently heavily sedated with the missus at my bedside looking up my Super Statement to see how much I am worth if I should fall off the perch.

The reason for my predicament I had a wander down to the local Nissan Dealer to see if I could get a workshop manual for the new ute. They said yep and promptly told me there were 2 manauls one for the bod and one for the motor. Told me to take a seat offered me a coffee and got the receptionist with the low cut cleavage to get my coffee and then promptly told me the price $710.00 for one and $560.00 for the other.

I politely asked if this was a gee up while the receptionist was wiping the spilt coffee off my lap. They assured me it wasn't. I walked out the door in a daze and can't remember getting home. The last thing I remember before going to sleep was the missus with a big smile on her face while putting my super statement back in the folder.

Does she come with the manual?


Sent from my iPad using Motorculture mobile app

[Gary Vansleve]

This is one of the manuals from Nissan.
38877lol

Bwa ha ha good one.

Did a down load of a manual on the forum got a bit concerned when smoke started comming out of the speakers poor old thing wheezed and coughed a bit but got there in the end.

Will take a wander down the local library and have a gander at the manuals they have there to see whether the Max Ellery or Haynes is the better. Still can't believe the price they gave me.

Currently getting prices on lockers hope the old ticker stands up to the strain.

[mudski]

Wow... I had to read that twice to make sure I got it right. .

Does the manual come with a high class hooker for a week?

I still having visions of a receptionist with the low cut cleavage wiping spilt coffee of his lap.

[NP99]

I think the Nissan $ like other manufacturers was designed to stop us mere mortals having the knowledge to fix our cars....unlike the $40 manuals the nissan manual has implied mechanical knowledge.

[SonOf]

Bwa ha ha good one.

Did a down load of a manual on the forum got a bit concerned when smoke started comming out of the speakers poor old thing wheezed and coughed a bit but got there in the end.

Will take a wander down the local library and have a gander at the manuals they have there to see whether the Max Ellery or Haynes is the better. Still can't believe the price they gave me.

Currently getting prices on lockers hope the old ticker stands up to the strain.

That price is just madness. Get em fro here or you can get the CD/DVD version from fleebay for about $40. Personally woth getting a printed one for in the car and the electronic one for the shed. Neither comes with a bi boobed girl to wipe up after you but hey, they cost too much and take away the money you can spend on your troll

[fracster]

I'm not sure how they can even comprehend to charge that much.

If I got half that from every manual downloaded I would be on a tropical island now sipping piña caladas!!!!You mean you`re not?

[NP99]

I'm not sure how they can even comprehend to charge that much.

If I got half that from every manual downloaded I would be on a tropical island now sipping piña caladas!!!!

You are - it's called Australia :)

[Gecko17]

I still having visions of a receptionist with the low cut cleavage wiping spilt coffee of his lap.

I don't think she was wiping up spilt coffee.... I think she was just trying to find his wallet!

[threedogs]

I'll shade you and fan you with a palm frond.
Not telling how much the Range Rover one is then,
but we don't care

[Cuppa]

I'm not sure how they can even comprehend to charge that much.



It’s simple to understand.

Charge totally unreasonable sh*tloads of dosh for the manuals. Virtually no-one buys them, leaving far more folk to pay Nissan for all the servicing of their vehicles.

[TPC]

http://www.ebay.com.au/itm/NISSAN-PATROL-GU-1998-2011-PETROL-DIESEL-4WD-SERVICE-REPAIR-WORKSHOP-MANUAL-/200981904158?pt=AU_Clothing_Merchandise_Media&hash=item2ecb747b1e

http://www.ebay.com.au/itm/Haynes-Owners-Service-Repair-Manual-Nissan-Patrol-GU-Petrol-Diesel-1998-2011-/201003726558?pt=AU_Clothing_Merchandise_Media&hash=item2eccc176de

Is that a bit better?

I notice neither of these cover the CRD, was thinking of buying one but no point if my motor is not covered.
Manuals are never as easy to use when on a computer, I like to be able to flick through pages.

[macca]

I notice neither of these cover the CRD, was thinking of buying one but no point if my motor is not covered.
Manuals are never as easy to use when on a computer, I like to be able to flick through pages.

That's a damn nuisance, lucky you noticed the CRD was not covered.I don't like scrolling through pages on a computer either. Find them really hard to find what I want.