Why are farts funny...

[the evil twin]

OK all knowing forumites... Why are farts funny?

I mean an appropriately timed nice loud "Brrrraaaaaaat" out of the waste gate during a lull in conversation or event can collapse all in hearing into gales of laughter esp if followed with a couple of "Pops" as the throttle comes off and the orifice closes.

And don't even get me started on on the spontaneous hilarity generated in others by the look on peoples faces when the gentle waft of air currents subtley transport that first sniff of the reeking, fetid, stomach churning stench of a cloud of bio gas that is so putrid it should really be visible to the naked eye and not just on the perps undies.

Discuss...

(Replies shall be marked out of 5 using the time honoured smiley face method)

[threedogs]

Some hurt, singed a guys hair back in the 70s rlmfao then

[the ferret]

They are the sharpest thing in the world, they can go straight through your pants without even cutting them.
Cheers, the ferret.

[AB]

What's even funnier when someone says "pawww that stinks" and everyone instinctively goes for a smell too.

Even though they really don't want to smell it they just can't help themselves.

[threedogs]

even ate one once not a good experience.
you want a room cleared bring on my missus lol

[growler2058]

Santa bought my lil one a wooppee cushin that's why farts are funny

[threedogs]

oldie but a goodie,
both of us lying in bed then the MOF lets rip thinking I'm asleep,
has to be a record went for a good 15 seconds, no smell thank god.
got a little on my shoulder other than that I dodged a big bullit

[the evil twin]

Some hurt, singed a guys hair back in the 70s rlmfao then

Ahhh yes... reminds me that the noble art of lighting a fart is rapidly becoming lost to humanity. One used to be able to pass (excuse the pun) hours of quality time with ones mates. A slab or two (each), copius BBQ onions, licorice, peanuts or whatever your fuel of choice, a darkened but well ventilated room, throw in a Bic Lighter, disable the fire alarms and voila instant entertainment.

Perhaps the physical and emotional scars of attending the Emergency Department to have the molten remains of nylon jocks removed (including a goodly amount of body hair) after a mistimed ignition or that worst horror of all, an uncommanded blow back, has become too traumatic an event for modern youth? Have they not the mental toughness to just say Bugger it and go 'Commando'?

And that pay day favourite after the pub on the outskirts of town that was the most 'flexible' with the actual age of patrons closed and we retired to the river bank with a carton of long necks, yes my friends, I speak of...... Faggot Racing.
From a time when 'faggot' had a different meaning entirely and participation was a culmination of that long climp to the pinnacle of manliness and victory guaranteed to win the heart of the maidens of dubious morality known to frequent such venues.

Where using pages from a broadsheet newspaper to manufacture your faggot was considered akin to underarm bowling and a premature leap into the river to extinguish the flames subjected one to scathing derision and the occasional empty long neck. Truly a sport of epic courage and a builder of true character that stays with a person for a life time.

[growler2058]

I remember the first time I saw a fart lit hahahahahahahha and there were nylon trackies involved how lucky it went ok hahaha

[the evil twin]

snip...

even ate one once not a good experience.


I hope it wasn't a "Cough, Gag, splutter, I swallowed a fly" effort.
Did you use the "raw oyster" technique or did you require the use of condiments?

[93patrol]

if you ever want to smell putrid farts go into a lower primary school class, jeez you'd think the kids had a follow through but nooooo. They like to give you a little taste then the other kids join in and it become a concerto performance of sticking little whipper snappers dropping bombs like its going out of fashion.
What do parents feed some these kids

[TimE]

They are almost invisible, but at my age they can't be trusted


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aqCfVVkT2KI

[threedogs]

Even the name if funny "farts" tee hee yeah

That U tube thingy is off.

Has anyone had a SNIT, its when your in the shower
and you sneeze and no,2 at the same time a SNIT

[growler2058]

HAhahahahahah nah but ive sharted

[threedogs]

HHHHHAAAAA similar but not the same, you're funny

[TimE]

........ and because of the season, I give you this merry little number


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZgtHIgWd4k0

[Wine_maker]

I just leave it here lol

http://www.nissanpatrol.com.au/forums/images/imported/2013/12/155.jpg

[Coldcomfort]

Two indisputable rules of life.

1. Farts are funny.
2. Men love boobs (knockers, tits, love jugs or whatever you like to call them).

[NP99]

Two indisputable rules of life.

1. Farts are funny.
2. Men love boobs (knockers, tits, love jugs or whatever you like to call them).

And if you don't you're a poof.

[TPC]

I love to let out a silent but deadly one and ask gullible mates if they can smell gas, everybody will naturally take a big snort and fill their noses with the putrid fart.

[Drew]

Two indisputable rules of life.

1. Farts are funny.
2. Men love boobs (knockers, tits, love jugs or whatever you like to call them).

Absofartnlutely

[Drew]

And if you don't you're a poof.

Because you don't like farts or boobs ?

[Winnie]

I remember the first time I saw a fart lit hahahahahahahha and there were nylon trackies involved how lucky it went ok hahaha

First time I saw it, all my mates ass hairs caught fire. Bahaha

[growler2058]

First time I saw it, all my mates ass hairs caught fire. Bahaha


Sure it wasn't you waking up in random front yards without ya strides on?!

[Avo]

Farts that split you arse are funny,i still remember the face my daughter pulled when I say shit like that or that split my arse,or that just shot out my arse....she just cracks up and cannot help but laugh...little miss is 10 by the way.

[SonOf]

Most unnatural fart was one I did in the car with the air con on, cold fart it just wrong, even the misses agreed while laughing or it may have been gagging

[NP99]

Because you don't like farts or boobs ?

What MAN doesn't like boobs?

[growler2058]

What MAN doesn't like boobs?



And FARTS hahahahahahha my missus hate s my farts I think theyre very very funny

[NP99]

And FARTS hahahahahahha my missus hate s my farts I think theyre very very funny

It's a wife thing mate...

[Maxhead]

....I have real bad farts now!

[TimE]

http://cdn.motinetwork.net/demotivationalposters.org/image/demotivational-poster/1009/a-wet-fart-never-kiss-butt-cubby-demotivational-poster-1285640975.jpg

[TPC]

Its great to have to have control of the power windows in the car so you can let one go and put the window lock on.

[fracster]

Its great to have to have control of the power windows in the car so you can let one go and put the window lock on.I`m glad it is not only me that does that..........:biggrin:

[choppie]

Definition of a fart; The agonizing scream of a trapped shite:eck05::blowup:

[threedogs]

What about a DINO Fart that would flatten a small forest lol

[TimE]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dvopmcc86kU

[TimE]

...and if you thought blokes knew how to phart, we ain't got nothing on the sheilas, check this out



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rwGrX6GMUM0

[NP99]

...and if you thought blokes knew how to phart, we ain't got nothing on the sheilas, check this out



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rwGrX6GMUM0


Fanny farting.......it's different! :)

[threedogs]

that's just wrong on so many levels,
Little Dino got me laughing lol

a fart is just mother nature telling you to do number two's

[Winnie]

An old married couple went to bed one night. *As soon as they hit the pillows, the old man passes gas and says, "Touchdown! *Seven points!"His wife rolls over and says, "What in the world was that?"The old man replied, "It's fart football."A few minutes later his wife lets one go and says, "Touchdown! *Tie score!"After about five minutes the old man lets another one go and says, "A-ha! *I'm ahead 14 to 7."Not to be outdone the wife rips out another one and says, "Touchdown! *Tie score!"Five seconds go by and she lets out a little squeaker and says, "Field goal! *I lead 17 to 14."Now the pressure is on the old man. *He refuses to get beaten by a woman, so he strains real hard. *Since defeat is totally unacceptable, he gives it everything he's got and accidentally poops in the bed.The wife says, "What the hell was that?"The old man says, "Half time! *Switch sides!"

[Bush Ranger]

Why do farts smell?
So that deaf people can enjoy them too.

[threedogs]

Could this become "sticky" lol

[TimE]

Ahhhhhhhhhhhh, sticky farts


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3H039jWD9k4

[kevin07]

Ahhh yes... reminds me that the noble art of lighting a fart is rapidly becoming lost to humanity. One used to be able to pass (excuse the pun) hours of quality time with ones mates. A slab or two (each), copius BBQ onions, licorice, peanuts or whatever your fuel of choice, a darkened but well ventilated room, throw in a Bic Lighter, disable the fire alarms and voila instant entertainment.

Perhaps the physical and emotional scars of attending the Emergency Department to have the molten remains of nylon jocks removed (including a goodly amount of body hair) after a mistimed ignition or that worst horror of all, an uncommanded blow back, has become too traumatic an event for modern youth? Have they not the mental toughness to just say Bugger it and go 'Commando'?

And that pay day favourite after the pub on the outskirts of town that was the most 'flexible' with the actual age of patrons closed and we retired to the river bank with a carton of long necks, yes my friends, I speak of...... Faggot Racing.
From a time when 'faggot' had a different meaning entirely and participation was a culmination of that long climp to the pinnacle of manliness and victory guaranteed to win the heart of the maidens of dubious morality known to frequent such venues.

Where using pages from a broadsheet newspaper to manufacture your faggot was considered akin to underarm bowling and a premature leap into the river to extinguish the flames subjected one to scathing derision and the occasional empty long neck. Truly a sport of epic courage and a builder of true character that stays with a person for a life time.

I can assure you the noble art of blue flaming has been passed on in my family about 15 years ago my brother and I took our boys and nephews to gumma reserve at Macksville for a few weeks of camping and the artform was gleefully passed on.kev

[Avo]

Fanny farting.......it's different! :)

no one mentions the gas mask.........................bwhaaaaaaa