PDA

View Full Version : Another RLI ripping yarn!



PMC
26th October 2013, 11:41 AM
G’day lounge Lizards!

After two years of being runners up in the local basketball championship, I was approached last season and asked if I would coach the team. Well fark me swinging trendsetters, I said "fark yeah"!

Before I got sick two years ago, I had completed an 8 day coaching course covering all sports, I had previously coached Cricket and Rugby teams when I was in the Army, and when I got out of the Army I was also Security industry trainer for many years.

Basketball I said to myself, hmm, fark I said, I will just incorporate the basics and sprinkle some Cricket and Rugby drills voila!!!!!!!!!!! I thought.

Last year’s coach Terri has decided to be my assistant this year which is fantastic as I am still learning the game of basketball and the rules.

Training sessions this year, I took them through the basics, dribbling, passing and various shooting drills. The biggest problem this team had was in defence; they constantly crumbled to the pressure from opposition teams. They lacked confidence and were easily bullied on the court. I had to change this attitude; I had to install ASAP courage, fighting ability and tenacity to help us with our defensive game plan or we were farked!

During the various training sessions this year I would yell out instructions like, “ankle tap the bastards” Then a reply would come from my assistant Coach Terri, “Coach we cannot ankle tap in Basketball” “OK thanks for the heads up” I would say to Terri!

On another occasion I yelled out “Hip & Shoulder, get stuck into the pricks” Then another reply would come from Terri, “Coach we cannot Hip & Shoulder in Basketball” Fark, I would say to myself!”

When we lost our only game this year by one point, several of our players were injured caused by being punched and being tripped. I said to Terri during our Wednesday training session, “ the next time we play that team again, we will squirrel grip the buggers”. Typical Terri, “Coach we cannot squirrel grip the buggers in Basketball, it is not ethical, besides they are an under 13 girls team” Once again she was right!

I thought what about bouncers! Terri quick as a flash “What are bouncers Coach, somehow I am not going to like your explanation, am I” “Farkkk, your right Terri, I am not even going to try and explain it, I know it is Basketball and they are 12 year old girls!”

So far this season we have won 9 games and lost one, the game we lost was by a single point, we are currently sitting on top of the ladder. We have beaten the premiers twice this season, a task that we failed to do last year as we were beaten on all three occasions including the dreadful flogging we got in last year’s Grand final.

Hopefully we can go one step further, even though if we cannot “ankle tap the bastards, Hip & Shoulder the pricks, squirrel grip the buggers or carry out bouncers! lol”

The best thing I have installed is playing firm but fair, after every game we always shake hands with the opposition teams and tell them how good the game was. I am firm believer in being gracious in victory and humble when you lose, it is so important to never putt your opposition down or insult them, being a good sport helps foster camaraderie/mate-ship which are traits that are very important in life especially helping you being a good human being in society.

Has I finish writing this yarn, in the second half of our game this morning, I yelled out to our team “kick arse girls” Quick as a flash Terri replies “Coach please be mindful of your language” once again the parents and opposition parents have a laugh at my expense. Lol My two daughters just laugh, that's my dad they say!

PS, we won the game! I must be doing something right!

Regards,

RLI
:cheers:

GUtsy ute
26th October 2013, 11:45 AM
Great story Paul,

All the best for the title.

NP99
26th October 2013, 11:46 AM
When I played we could clothes line the opposition, but that was army pt sessions. Good yarn mate :)

mudnut
26th October 2013, 02:04 PM
I have just read it out loud to my wife and got a good laugh.

Stropp
26th October 2013, 03:43 PM
ha ha as usual Paul a great story :)

BigRAWesty
26th October 2013, 04:35 PM
Always a top read Paul..
Never fail to put a smile on faces.
Cheers mate

jack
26th October 2013, 08:30 PM
See Paul, it's easy - there is one page of your book done already. Add the other stories already on the forum and you have a chapter. And you haven't even touched on your army experience!

What are you waiitng for - a publisher?

PMC
26th October 2013, 08:53 PM
See Paul, it's easy - there is one page of your book done already. Add the other stories already on the forum and you have a chapter. And you haven't even touched on your army experience!

What are you waiitng for - a publisher?

Gees you are so persistent. lol

PS, after i get my health sorted, i will continue writing my book.

Regards,

RLI

Stropp
27th October 2013, 12:28 AM
Gees you are so persistent. lol

PS, after i get my health sorted, i will continue writing my book.

Regards,

RLI

I will buy one mate it's bound to be a cracker!

cgm
27th October 2013, 03:09 AM
Thanks Paul, it really is great to have you around with your yarns.

PMC
27th October 2013, 07:45 AM
Thanks Paul, it really is great to have you around with your yarns.

Not a problem mate!

I am glad to be able to make someone laugh or to be happy, even if it is just for a short period of time!

Regards,

RLI

NP99
27th October 2013, 08:23 AM
Not a problem mate!

I am glad to be able to make someone laugh or to be happy, even if it is just for a short period of time!

Regards,

RLI

How many women have heard that? :)

PMC
27th October 2013, 08:46 AM
How many women have heard that? :)

G'day Sir!

You are so cruel, i am a sensitive new age guy, farkk, if you believe that, i have got a thousand acres of swap land for sale. You can only view at low tide. lol

Regards,

Paul

Drewboyaus
27th October 2013, 09:39 AM
Great read mate. Looking forward to meeting you when you're down in Vic this Christmas.
I just started coaching on of my girls' U10 sides and that story about ankle taps etc is too funny.
In the first game I watched (before I got the coaching gig) one of my girls was constantly being held up and having the ball stolen as she brought it up the court......I took her aside at a timeout and showed her how to drop her shoulder to drive past her opponent and knock her to the floor.....just afterwards I thought to myself WTF, this is the U10's FFS ya dickhead!
I need a cure for my white line fever.....LMAO