Headlines from the year 2030!

[PMC]

Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh largest country in the world "Little India" formerly known as Australia.

Tasmania executes last remaining Greenie.

White minorities still trying to have English recognised as Australia's third language.

Children from two-parent heterosexual families bullied in schools for being 'different'. Tolerance urged.

Gay Marriages now overtake heterosexual marriages as preferred 'lifestyle' choice.

Melbourne schoolgirl expelled for not wearing Burqa, being a Christian is no excuse says school. Sharia law must be enforced.

Japan announces that they will no longer consume whale meat as whales are now extinct and the scientific research fleet are unemployed. Australian Government has told the Japanese that Cane Toads taste like whale meat.

Australia now has ten Universities of Political Correctness.

Professor Goldman of ANU says there is still a long way to go in the fight to stop free speech.

Australian Deficit $10 trillion dollars and rising. Government declares return to surplus in 100 years which is 300 years ahead of time. Prime Minister Mohammed Yousuf claims increased growth through more immigration is the secret to success.

Wall Street banks merge to form new super bank, Goldman, Rothschild, Ebeneezer, Epstein & Drescher (GREED).

Huge bonuses paid to executives to celebrate launch.

Baby conceived naturally! Scientists amazed.

Iran still quarantined. Physicists estimate it will take at least 100 more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels.

France pleads for global help after being taken over by Islamic Countries. No other country volunteers to come forward to help the beleaguered nation ! Serves them right.

Castro finally dies at age 112. Cuban cigars can now be imported legally, but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking.

Jose Manuel Rodrigez Bush says he will run for second term as US President in 2032.

Australia Post raises price of stamps to $18 and reduces mail delivery to Wednesdays only.

After a ten year $75.8 billion study, commissioned by the Labor Party, scientists prove diet and exercise is the key to weight loss.

Average weight of an Australian drops to 115 kgs.

Global cooling blamed for citrus crop failure for third consecutive year in Victoria India and New South Iraq.

Japanese scientists have created a camera with such a fast shutter speed they can now photograph a woman with her mouth shut.

Senate still blocking drilling in Canberra even though petrol is selling for 5,000 Rupees per litre and petrol stations are only open on Tuesdays and Fridays.

Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates their civil rights. Victims to be held partly responsible for crimes committed against them.

Average height of professional basketball players is now nine feet, seven inches.

New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly swatters and rolled-up newspapers must be registered by January 2035 as lethal weapons.

Australian Tax Office sets lowest tax rate in decades at 75%.

AFL Carlton won this years National Footy final beating the Hindu Hornets 20-11 to 13-18. NRL Arab bulldogs beat Asia Brisbane 22 to 16.

Southern Asia (formerly Northern Territory ) voters still having trouble with voting machines . . . .. lol

Regards,

RLI,

:bowdown:

[NP99]

All too true :)

[lhurley]

Its sad, but this is what we are coming to

[Sir Roofy]

Well paul your most likely to have hit the nail on the head

[oncedisturbed]

I couldn't stop laughing

[BigRAWesty]

Can't agree more... Its sad but true..

Kallen Westbrook
Owner of
Westy's Accessories (http://www.nissanpatrol.com.au/forums/showthread.php?15134-Westy-s-Accessories.-A-small-back-yard-builder.)

[cruise]

haha this made my night =)

[MudRunnerTD]

Hey Paul,

I am not sure where you got that post from but it has been reported to the Mods as offensive. In the report the member added a Link to a Racist UK Site that has the above post nearly word for word. The ONLY difference on that site is it is written in the UK Context rather than Australia.

After reading the context of the discussions that follow the post on the other forum it is scary to see a group there that take No Humour out of the above post but rather consider it a true reflection of a likely World in 2030.

I am at pains to Moderate this thread but the line is very fine and this must be considered an International Forum. Please give consideration to our membership when posting threads like this. I believe your just having a laugh, well hope so, and i dont want to be the party basher but the question has been put.

Boo Me i know, Sorry.

I will let AB decide.

regards MR

[Clunk]

Oh I do so love this politically correct world we live in

Don't slap it, tap it!!!!

[Maxhead]

Hahahahha, great post RLI. Good start to Sunday morning :)

[Maxhead]

Hey Paul,

I am not sure where you got that post from but it has been reported to the Mods as offensive. In the report the member added a Link to a Racist UK Site that has the above post nearly word for word. The ONLY difference on that site is it is written in the UK Context rather than Australia.

After reading the context of the discussions that follow the post on the other forum it is scary to see a group there that take No Humour out of the above post but rather consider it a true reflection of a likely World in 2030.

I am at pains to Moderate this thread but the line is very fine and this must be considered an International Forum. Please give consideration to our membership when posting threads like this. I believe your just having a laugh, well hope so, and i dont want to be the party basher but the question has been put.

Boo Me i know, Sorry.

I will let AB decide.

regards MR

I don't understand why people have take everything out of context! Clearly if people can't see the funny side of the above post they should lock themselves up indoors bolt up all doors and windows and never come out!

I let my wife read this and all she did was laugh right through the entire post and she had not got one racist bone in her body and is very level headed when it comes to these types of controversial matters.

It would be sad to see this forum become so politically correct like this country. Whats next? We won;t be able to wish each other Merry Christmas as it might offend?
I know the forum can't please everyone so lets not minority rule the outcome of a thread! ......Crikey, after all I find posts regarding GQ's offensive but they are everywhere.:)

[my third 256]

Hey Paul,

I am not sure where you got that post from but it has been reported to the Mods as offensive. In the report the member added a Link to a Racist UK Site that has the above post nearly word for word. The ONLY difference on that site is it is written in the UK Context rather than Australia.

After reading the context of the discussions that follow the post on the other forum it is scary to see a group there that take No Humour out of the above post but rather consider it a true reflection of a likely World in 2030.

I am at pains to Moderate this thread but the line is very fine and this must be considered an International Forum. Please give consideration to our membership when posting threads like this. I believe your just having a laugh, well hope so, and i dont want to be the party basher but the question has been put.

Boo Me i know, Sorry.

I will let AB decide.

regards MR
Headlines from the year 2030!
Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh largest country in the world "Little India" formerly known as Australia.

Tasmania executes last remaining Greenie.

White minorities still trying to have English recognised as Australia's third language.

Children from two-parent heterosexual families bullied in schools for being 'different'. Tolerance urged.

Gay Marriages now overtake heterosexual marriages as preferred 'lifestyle' choice.

Melbourne schoolgirl expelled for not wearing Burqa, being a Christian is no excuse says school. Sharia law must be enforced.

Japan announces that they will no longer consume whale meat as whales are now extinct and the scientific research fleet are unemployed. Australian Government has told the Japanese that Cane Toads taste like whale meat.

Australia now has ten Universities of Political Correctness.

Professor Goldman of ANU says there is still a long way to go in the fight to stop free speech.

Australian Deficit $10 trillion dollars and rising. Government declares return to surplus in 100 years which is 300 years ahead of time. Prime Minister Mohammed Yousuf claims increased growth through more immigration is the secret to success.

Wall Street banks merge to form new super bank, Goldman, Rothschild, Ebeneezer, Epstein & Drescher (GREED).

Huge bonuses paid to executives to celebrate launch.

Baby conceived naturally! Scientists amazed.

Iran still quarantined. Physicists estimate it will take at least 100 more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels.

France pleads for global help after being taken over by Islamic Countries. No other country volunteers to come forward to help the beleaguered nation ! Serves them right.

Castro finally dies at age 112. Cuban cigars can now be imported legally, but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking.

Jose Manuel Rodrigez Bush says he will run for second term as US President in 2032.

Australia Post raises price of stamps to $18 and reduces mail delivery to Wednesdays only.

After a ten year $75.8 billion study, commissioned by the Labor Party, scientists prove diet and exercise is the key to weight loss.

Average weight of an Australian drops to 115 kgs.

Global cooling blamed for citrus crop failure for third consecutive year in Victoria India and New South Iraq.

Japanese scientists have created a camera with such a fast shutter speed they can now photograph a woman with her mouth shut.

Senate still blocking drilling in Canberra even though petrol is selling for 5,000 Rupees per litre and petrol stations are only open on Tuesdays and Fridays.

Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates their civil rights. Victims to be held partly responsible for crimes committed against them.

Average height of professional basketball players is now nine feet, seven inches.

New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly swatters and rolled-up newspapers must be registered by January 2035 as lethal weapons.

Australian Tax Office sets lowest tax rate in decades at 75%.

AFL Carlton won this years National Footy final beating the Hindu Hornets 20-11 to 13-18. NRL Arab bulldogs beat Asia Brisbane 22 to 16.

Southern Asia (formerly Northern Territory ) voters still having trouble with voting machines . . . .. lol

Regards,

RLI,


The halls been rented the bands been paid, time to see you dance!

as his signature sayes maybe the moderator ment this BANDS or should he have put a LOL on the end

[growler2058]

......Crikey, after all I find posts regarding GQ's offensive but they are everywhere.:)

Funny you should say that. I've made comment elsewhere that GUrly troll driving hairdressers would be the next crying hahahahahaha

[rusty_nail]

Good start to Sunday, thanks RLI.

I feel bad for your position MR you've gotta do what you gotta do, I think that Paul is just having a laugh as will many of the people on here.

Enjoy what's left of your weekend guys


Tappin

[threedogs]

@ RLI laughed so hard I think a bit of pee come out.

I just love Australia only we can take the Mickey out of ourselves ,,,,,,,,, its what we do.
Channel 9 this morning a young lady in the UK could not find Aust on a world globe,,,,,,,,,,,,Gold
POLITICAL CORRECTNESS HAS GONE WAY TOO FAR,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, IMO

Maybe mods could Delete the offensive piece,,,,,,,,,,,,, Just leaving 2030

[AB]

I personally don't see this as a direct racist attack on anyone.

It's a light hearted look into a possible future based on our demographics from proven growing nations and our insane world economy forcing countries to GROW GROW GROW and CONSUME CONSUME CONSUME.

Maybe 2030 is a bit early for some of those comments but a lot of those points are likely to happen.

[Dales300exc]

Too funny! Great read!

In no way offensive.

[Sir Roofy]

Sorry guys but there are far more depressing and dangerous things going on in the world like this past week
a little humour is a good thing in noway did i or my wife find it offenceive

[NP99]

I think it was a Qld Cane Toad that made the complaint :)

[jack]

Absolute crap RLI, it will be at least 2040 before Carlton wins another flag.

[rottodiver]

No offence in this household.... That was a great little read..... People need to lighten up a little.....
Scotty

[PMC]

Hey Paul,

I am not sure where you got that post from but it has been reported to the Mods as offensive. In the report the member added a Link to a Racist UK Site that has the above post nearly word for word. The ONLY difference on that site is it is written in the UK Context rather than Australia.

After reading the context of the discussions that follow the post on the other forum it is scary to see a group there that take No Humour out of the above post but rather consider it a true reflection of a likely World in 2030.

I am at pains to Moderate this thread but the line is very fine and this must be considered an International Forum. Please give consideration to our membership when posting threads like this. I believe your just having a laugh, well hope so, and i dont want to be the party basher but the question has been put.

Boo Me i know, Sorry.

I will let AB decide.

regards MR

G'day Darren,

One of my Army mates, sent it to me! I just laughed! I do not know where the original origin of the article came from. Typical me, after posting up my 1000 post, i thought for a laugh i would push my larrikin behavior once more!

PS, I know, back to pealing potatoes and cleaning the shit-house for the 2014 meet-up. lol

Regards,

RLI

[MC97GQ]

As the white, hetrosexual christian minority targeted in this thread I find nothing offensive in it at all. ;)

Mark

[MC97GQ]

After re reading Mudrunners original post, I thought I would do some research on google as to the topic of Headlines from 2030,

Quite interesting, the exact same post as RLI with some minor tweaks with regard to locality, appears on everything from the Commodore forum here in Australia to military forums and also to a Filipino forum in the UK.

Now whilst the person who complained could find a link to a racist website to substantiate their complaint, I too could link to a dozen websites to refute this.

I am happy the mods have taken the original post in the context in which it was posted, AS A JOKE.

Mark

[Clunk]

I'm not racist, my best mate is English.... ;)

Don't slap it, tap it!!!!

[MEGOMONSTER]

http://youtu.be/c9FrWak4890

[PMC]

Absolute crap RLI, it will be at least 2040 before Carlton wins another flag.

G'day Apollofish,

You cannot stop us from a good ole laugh!

PS, life is like a piece of shit, it is great until you step in it! lol

Regards,

The forum bad boy!

[macca]

Paul that was funny, and could well come to pass. Enjoyed the read with my lunch good old true blue cheese on toast that I grew up with LOL

As for the protestor, mate dont open the post again, thats what I do if something doesnt interest me, or offends, or peeves or whatever.

Fair go a few others here enjoyed some light hearted humour that we can relate to, isnt that what comedy is about?

[PMC]

Paul that was funny, and could well come to pass. Enjoyed the read with my lunch good old true blue cheese on toast that I grew up with LOL

As for the protestor, mate dont open the post again, thats what I do if something doesnt interest me, or offends, or peeves or whatever.

Fair go a few others here enjoyed some light hearted humour that we can relate to, isnt that what comedy is about?

Thanks mate!

PS, life is to short, we must try to enjoy it the best way we can, a bit of friendly humour goes a long way!

Regards,

RLI

[NP99]

G'day Apollofish,

You cannot stop us from a good ole laugh!

PS, life is like a piece of shit, it is great until you step in it! lol

Regards,

The forum bad boy!

Or like a pubic hair on the dunny seat......you can only hang on for so long before you get pissed off :)

[AB]

Absolute crap RLI, it will be at least 2040 before Carlton wins another flag.

Whilst this post may be borderline that comment crosses all boundaries...

Going to keep my eye on you now mate after reading this...lol

[threedogs]

Come on AB if you need to say something about Carlton, Please use the AFL thread Thanks .PMSL

@ Apollofish same to you mate all jokes in the joke thread, bloody funny though. RPMSL

[Coldcomfort]

No offence here. I had a good chuckle and then a quiet thought. Some of the headlines are somehow a bit too real and close.

[threedogs]

Admit a few are borderline but hey its not there to offend. I'm sure other cultures and countries have similar. dont read anything into it.
As Ive said a few times lifes too short, and getting shorter everyday. Would hate to think my life ends one day shorter because of this light hearted Dianosis of
how one person somewhere sees the future panning out. For interstaters Reckon they live in Gratton St Carlton lol Hey just the messenger

[NP99]

Hey you guys, I think Big Mick is a Carlton supporter...... :)

[threedogs]

Man hugs required ???

[fracster]

It is funny, not offensive in any way.

Please don`t get all politically correct on this forum, we have enough of that bollocks over here.

[jack]

Hey you guys, I think Big Mick is a Carlton supporter...... :)
Oops, hope he doesn't read my post

[jack]

Whilst this post may be borderline that comment crosses all boundaries...

Going to keep my eye on you now mate after reading this...lol
Geez and I overlooked the fact you secretly OWN a Toymota, fair go.

[Clunk]

Geez and I overlooked the fact you secretly OWN a Toymota, fair go.

There's no secret about it mate lol

Don't slap it, tap it!!!!

[AB]

I needed a ute for the property and it was cheap. Would it help if I say I never change the oils and treat it like a bag of ship????

[Bloodyaussie]

I'm not racist I just hate stupid people!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Cheers RLI......

[threedogs]

Dame Edna summed it up once , but this little black duck is not going to repeat it though

[macca]

Im a racist just ask Mrs Woman she will tell you I am.

I have no time for bludgers, foriegn bludgers, white bludgers, coloured bludgers, purple bludgers and official bludgers especially the ones with a pocket full of pens (probably got one of them iPlastic thingies now) and dont forget the goverment bludgers that give other bludgers their licence to bludge.

The rest are welcome to my place for a sausage sanga and a stubbie.

[threedogs]

Usually you'll find the ones who talk about it are, the rest of us share a beer and get on with it.

[NP99]

Im a racist just ask Mrs Woman she will tell you I am.

I have no time for bludgers, foriegn bludgers, white bludgers, coloured bludgers, purple bludgers and official bludgers especially the ones with a pocket full of pens (probably got one of them iPlastic thingies now) and dont forget the goverment bludgers that give other bludgers their licence to bludge.

The rest are welcome to my place for a sausage sanga and a stubbie.

What about general bludgers :)

[macca]

What about general bludgers :)

Theyre on the list LOL


Usually you'll find the ones who talk about it are, the rest of us share a beer and get on with it.

Too bloody right

[trekster]

Ok guys I'm gonna have to file the 2nd complaint here, I find it offensive that you talk about a sport where men in short shorts jump all over each others backs, and you call it football?

I think this sport and Ian Thorpe go well in the same sentence.......


I'll have no more speaking of this :D

[PMC]

It is funny, not offensive in any way.

Please don`t get all politically correct on this forum, we have enough of that bollocks over here.

G'day fracster,

Well said mate!

Regards,

RLI

[PMC]

I'm not racist I just hate stupid people!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Cheers RLI......

Good onya mate!

Regards,

RLI

[PMC]

Im a racist just ask Mrs Woman she will tell you I am.

I have no time for bludgers, foriegn bludgers, white bludgers, coloured bludgers, purple bludgers and official bludgers especially the ones with a pocket full of pens (probably got one of them iPlastic thingies now) and dont forget the goverment bludgers that give other bludgers their licence to bludge.

The rest are welcome to my place for a sausage sanga and a stubbie.

G'day macca,

Well said mate!

Regards,

RLI

[my third 256]

Im a racist just ask Mrs Woman she will tell you I am.

I have no time for bludgers, foriegn bludgers, white bludgers, coloured bludgers, purple bludgers and official bludgers especially the ones with a pocket full of pens (probably got one of them iPlastic thingies now) and dont forget the goverment bludgers that give other bludgers their licence to bludge.

The rest are welcome to my place for a sausage sanga and a stubbie.
were on our way for the sange mate

[rusty_nail]

im not racist! i dislike everyone equally!!! lol

[Sir Roofy]

i needed a ute for the property and it was cheap. Would it help if i say i never change the oils and treat it like a bag of ship????

its going to be a rusting relic after healys pimp

[macca]

were on our way for the sange mate

Theres allways some local butchers real old fashioned snags in the freezer and the BBQ is ready to go :thumbup:

[choppie]

I am VERY offended by this thread. The Bro's across the ditch didn't get a mention and I take that to heart, LMFAO

[PMC]

I am VERY offended by this thread. The Bro's across the ditch didn't get a mention and I take that to heart, LMFAO

Good onya choppie!

Regards,

RLI

[MEGOMONSTER]

Hundreds of thousands are today protesting against the President of Australia's decision to implement a new Air tax payable by all. The President of Australia expects the Air Tax to raise 980 trillion dollars annually.
Pensioners and the unemployed will receive a $10 discount on the tax.

[threedogs]

Those old fashioned snags you speak of,,,,,,,,,,,There is a Gormet' Sausage shop
That shall remain nameless,,,,,, make square snags yep Square snags, They don't split
and are easy to turn,
But untill I get! 1 kg of his finest he will remain nameless,,,, aaahole

[Lonicus]

Can you imagine the wailing and gnashing of teeth that would erupt if Kingswood Country was made and aired today! Poor old Ted Bullpit would be ripped off the air at the first mention of Nevil, Nuns or Wogs :smileyvault-cute-bi

[macca]

To continue the :hijacked:
Sorry TD lost me at gourmet & square??? WTF ???,
Wassa our butcher uses pig gut?? for skins as well, bugger all fat so they taste great on the BBQ. Allways tease him I had to add some oil to cook the onions LOL.
We also have a very traditional German butcher in town and his range of smoked sausages (great in a pasta) plus other meats are awsome, he manufactures for 3 days, then only has the shop open on Thursday & Friday.
Pauly bought a smoked bacon hock last week for a pea and ham soup mmm mmmm mmmm.

[Sir Roofy]

Who remembers alf garnnet now that show was out of this world,be a brave tv station to air that one

[Lonicus]

The good old days Roofy, where we could laugh at each other, and ourselves, in good natured fun!

[Clunk]

Who remembers alf garnnet now that show was out of this world,be a brave tv station to air that one

Loved those shows Til Death Do Us Part and In Sickness and In Health

He also loves Christmas

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6dOifKt5uws&feature=youtube_gdata_player

Don't slap it, tap it!!!!

[Cuppa]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_ymZaMJ_Pno

[Clunk]

Hahahahah bloody hilarious cuppa

Don't slap it, tap it!!!!

[MEGOMONSTER]

New President of Australia elected, the honourable Abdula Al-Shaqlar Muhammad, and Vice President Mai Ling Phat