The "Complete Goose Outta Yourself" thread.

[ova50]

Not so long back we decided to have a bit of a farewell get together with a group of our friends, as we were about to start our trip around the country .

During the afternoon my wife happens to bring up an event that happened to me a few years back. This was one of those events where you have made a “Complete Goose Outta Yourself”, and realise it about half a second after it happened and are looking for somewhere to hide.
Almost everyone at our get together told a story where they had made a “Complete Goose” outta themselves. And there were some classics.

Still confused ?? . Read on.
Here is my "Complete Goose Outta Yourself".

Ok, some years back I had been having a few problems with a computer. While walking along the main road I see a sign on the footpath saying “Computer Repairs”, cool, I thought, I will go and check them about. I walked into the shop and headed to their counter, they even had stools for the customers to sit on.

Anyhow a guy asks, “Can I help you”. Sure, I start talking to him about my computer and his responses are quite vague. After about 10 minutes or so of this, the guy tells me that they send their computers out to be repaired. I decided that these guys know jack crap about computers, got up off the stool and started to walk towards the door. I start looking at the posters on the walls and then it happened. I realised that I had just made a “Complete Goose Outta Myself”.

I had walked into a Flight Centre shop. [/I]:oops: Man I couldn’t get outta there fast enough, “don’t look back, walk fast, don’t look back, faster, go, go,c'mon, don’t look back”.

Thanks very much, Flight Centre guy. (I am being sarcastic), you could have told me I was in the wrong shop and the computer shop was upstairs. Did you really think I was some sort of nut and didn’t want to upset me?

So now I say, step forward forumites, and submit your, making a “Complete Goose Outta Yourself” story.
[I]Name withheld on legal advice, don’t want to get committed.

[Winnie]

I got a good one bout our friend BloodyAussie.... Mwahahaha
At our last meet up he was searching high and low for his brand new NissanPatrol.com.au stubby holder. Started thinking somebody had stolen it. Then the absolute bloody goose touched his back pocket.......

[MC97GQ]

I don't know about the goose outa yourself bit, but what about taking one foot out to put the other one in,

Was at a work get together sitting at a table with a few mates and I start slagging off about this bloke I used to work with(nothing too bad) but it turns out the blokes sister has just started going out with one of my mates and she is sitting there listening to the whole thing.

After this was pointed out, I kind of wanted to crawl up my own backside,

I felt better when she chimed in and slagged him off too.

[Woof]

Yeah I have done it as well.

My big beer fridge freezer compartment was all frosted up, tried hot water in a saucepan but too slow???
Got my butane soldering thingy and tried that but it started to melt the compartment???
So out with the ice pick, my wife said you are going to wreak the fridge, not me I replied I know what I am doing...............all was going well until I heard a psssss sound, yep put the ice pick straight through the side of the freezer.
Tried to stop the gas from escaping with everything from a match to a tek screw.....................end result, wife laughing her head off and me up for a new fridge...lol

[AB]

My friends oldies have a beach house down at Venus Bay. Someone in the area was going around stealing mowers, slashers and general garden ornaments.

One day they had a BBQ and invited the locals around. They were talking about the robberies in the area and my mates oldies said how someone stole their mower and they laughed and said how it was a piece of junk and didn't work anyway.

Next minute someone at the BBQ accidently said "Nah it works fine actually"...BAHAHHAA....Busted!!!!!

Not sure what eventuated after that but I'm sure it was great!!!!

[Lonicus]

Where to start.

I was doing some work on the bathroom plumbing. Disconnected the U bend from under the basin, being careful not to spill the water it contained into the cupboard. Removed the pipe and poured the water down the drain of the basin I had just removed the pipe from!

[Winnie]

First time I did an oil change on the Patrol I was so careful and did not spill a drop of oil! Was so proud, when I was cleaning up I dropped the drain tray on the grass...

[AB]

I also hooked up the earth of the alternator to the main power feed...That was a great day!!!!!

[DX grunt]

I lost a bet and kissed a Tojo emblem. Apparently it was caught on film. lol

[Clunk]

I lost a bet and kissed a Tojo emblem. Apparently it was caught on film. lol

Apparently!!!!!????

Don't stroke it, TAP it!!!!.....

[timbar]

I lost a bet and kissed a Tojo emblem. Apparently it was caught on film. lol

you loved it im sure TRATER !!!

[Bloodyaussie]

An ex mate of mine did his own oil change and filled it to the top... my mates and I were playing cricket in the street and we saw him turn in to the street from 500m away and cloaked the street in thick smoke..

People came out of there houses the whole way down to see what made all the smoke.

He then asked if he could borrow some tools so he could drain some of the oil out, lucky he did not blow every seal???????

[Winnie]

The year was 1985, I was in year 7 at school which was a half hour school bus ride from home. Sitting in the bus one morning I began brewing a fart which I kept in coz I was sitting next to two girls. Brewed it all the way in and when the bus pulled up at school I saw a group of my mates standing nearby. I immediately got off the bus, ran up to them and yelled all excited "fellas check this out!" I then lifted my leg to get maximum resonance and immediately dropped a borrie in my pants. I couldn't go home to change either. Needless to say that was a bad day at school.

Wooooooow what an absolute bloody goose! Hahahaha bet you never lived that one down?

[BigRAWesty]

When I was 4ish I remember watching a bmx show on tv. Me being me thought I can do that.
Jumped on my front peddle trike... Found the biggest spoon drain on the farm... And tried to wheelie across it... :D
So as you can guess ive reafed the bars back, lost traction, nosed it into this drain and flew over the handle bars were my nose met the earth followed by me and then the bike...
A good bunch of cuts, scars and a trip to the docs to fix my broken nose later, I thought I better not do that again... Unroll I was 5..

This time I upped the anti.. off the end of the loading ramp... (straight 2m drop) straight off the end on my 4 day old bike, landed it perfectly. Then the forks buckled under and my nose met the same fate as the year before..


Kallen Westbrook
Owner of
Westy's Accessories (http://www.nissanpatrol.com.au/forums/showthread.php?15134-Westy-s-Accessories.-A-small-back-yard-builder.)

[DX grunt]

When I was a kid, I rode my pushy across an old wooden bridge and the front wheel got caught in a gap. With a car approaching, I panicked,
and reefed the front end up, giving my jewels a decent wack on the cross bar. I was sore for days.

[Winnie]

I did a good one today. Went fishing at Welshpool with the girlfriend and the dog, put sunscreen on as soon as we got there. Couple hours later gf tells me to put more sunscreen on. Bugger that I say,only gonna be here another hour or so. Anyway 3 hours later we left and now I am bright red and in pain, gf is just laughing at me and has no sympathy...

[rkinsey]

The year was 1985, I was in year 7 at school which was a half hour school bus ride from home. Sitting in the bus one morning I began brewing a fart which I kept in coz I was sitting next to two girls. Brewed it all the way in and when the bus pulled up at school I saw a group of my mates standing nearby. I immediately got off the bus, ran up to them and yelled all excited "fellas check this out!" I then lifted my leg to get maximum resonance and immediately dropped a borrie in my pants. I couldn't go home to change either. Needless to say that was a bad day at school.

You always have to watch out that you don't follow through in situations like this.... :eck05:

[James_R]

Good one before Chrissy.

I turned into one of those idiots who can't use ratchet straps properly when my brand new kayak went flying off the top of the Troll right in the middle of Stockton bridge. Had traffic banked up for about 1km while I went and got it into the back of the wagon. Thankfully the bloke who was behind me stopped and but it onto the footpath for me.

And to make it better, when we shoved it in the back of the car I hit the f****** windscreen and cracked it not once, but twice. I felt like dying that day.

[Lonicus]

ARG! What a calamity!

[mudnut]

For weeks, I couldn't find the right socket to fit the front hub nut, All the ones I could find had too big an outer diameter.... that was until I discovered this forum, and some one told me to remove the first "EGG RING" and try again.

[89gqpatrol4x4]

I was in grade 5 and was riding my pushie fom from school one day after swimming with my toggs and towel in a plastic bag on the handle bars. Sitting at the main set of traffic lights right next to the school. The lights went green and I took off as fast as I could and the swinging action of the handle bars made the bag slip nicely into the spokes of the front wheel and flip me straight over the handle bars, landing on my front teeth! Chipped front teeth, trip home from a total stranger and bike left at school. GOOSE!

[Chris79]

Used to rip a mean wheelie on my pushie and on the odd trip down chapple street in Melbourne I couldnt help but rip a nice one out for the crowds.
Well thought I was king on this one night, made it about half way along the main drag to around where the busiest part is when out step two coppers bringing my show off session to a quick halt. Then wrote me ticket for no helmet right in front of everyone lol.

[James_R]

Hope u didn't make the evening news as well! What a shocker of a day mate!

Yeah she was an absolute shocker mate. I wish I could buy the bloke who stopped a carton of the Toohey Brothers finest for stopping and getting the thing off the road for me!

[ova50]

Where to start.

I was doing some work on the bathroom plumbing. Disconnected the U bend from under the basin, being careful not to spill the water it contained into the cupboard. Removed the pipe and poured the water down the drain of the basin I had just removed the pipe from!

That sure is making a complete goose outta yourself.

[taslucas]

I think the guy trying to sell the 42" lightbar in the other thread made a goose out of himself once he was caught out to be a liar.

Tap, crackle, pop

[Lonicus]

AB I think we need a "LOL" button :)

[ova50]

Good one before Chrissy.

I turned into one of those idiots who can't use ratchet straps properly when my brand new kayak went flying off the top of the Troll right in the middle of Stockton bridge. Had traffic banked up for about 1km while I went and got it into the back of the wagon. Thankfully the bloke who was behind me stopped and but it onto the footpath for me.

And to make it better, when we shoved it in the back of the car I hit the f****** windscreen and cracked it not once, but twice. I felt like dying that day.

Ahh the old something through the windscreen trick hey!
About 5 or so years back a friend of ours was digging out a small tree stump at his home, another friend happens to turn up while he is doing it. He decides to help and hooks up a snatch strap to the stump and his 4b (the 4b was a almost new and was owned by his wife)
Next, the stump comes out plows into the rear doors on the 4b and catapolts 2 surfboards through the front windscreen.
Made a complete goose outta himself. He was bloody lucky that he didnt lose his head, the damage cause to the vehicle was quite astounding & yes, his wife almost killed him.
What the hell was he thinking??. turns out he had bought the snatch strap a few days earlier and had no idea of how to use one or how it works. GOOSE.

[jack]

Well here goes, this is way back in the olden days. I was about 15 and bullet proof (who wasn't at 15), Johnny Famechon was going to give an exhibition fight in the local town and any fighters on the under card were allowed to have a spar with him the day before. Naturally I fancied myself in the ring and promptly signed up to fight my mate - I knew I could beat him. All went well till weigh in time, turned out my mate was to heavy to fight me. They asked did I want to fight someone else, stupid me said yeah bring them on - first mistake. Five minutes later I had a opponent, local indigenous fellow maybe a year or two older than me. I was warned he had some experience - second mistake.
Went home and told my dad I was fighting that night - third mistake. OK night of the big fight, all my mates in the audience, Gus Mercurio in my corner (he felt sorry for me I think as he said my brother was to young). In walks my opponent boxing shorts and shoes, tattoos (who the hell had tattoos at that age in those days!). Bell goes, we touch gloves, I step up and belt him a beauty - fourth mistake.
All this did was upset him, he fired back with such a barrage and variety of shots all I could do was cover up - Gus threw the towell in. First round TKO - what a goose.
To further rub salt in, my mate won his fight and got the 'fight of the night' trophy.

[wildgu6]

What a cracker of a thread.
When I was 8 yrs old riding my pushy and had crooked handle bars, so I thought I can straighten this will I was riding. As I'm peddling along I quickly jerked the bars from side to side trying to straighten them, after several attempts failed I then decided to try hold the front wheel with feet and try again, still in motion hahaha what a Goose, foot slipped into spokes and up and over the handle bars I go. Grased arm and bit the bitumen, gravel rash down the face and split lip I balled my eyes out all the way home lol and left my pushy in the middle of the road.


TAP TAP TAP MERRY XMAS TO ALL AND A SAFE NEW YEAR TO COME

[Alitis007]

Great thread, does BMX mean goose in the making?? Haha
When i was around 15 i used to have races in my cousins court, we used to pedal flat out till to the eye of the court and lean in like a GP bike so 1 day i had a brain wave "lets see if i can pedal fast around the hair pin" . I was going real good until the inside pedal struck bitumen, both elbows and shins grazed i was BRAND NEW!! That was until the following week when i was riding home from school and i was trying to light up a smoke while riding with no hands, fighting with the wind i stuck my head in my shirt light my dart and rode in the back of a parked station wagon! Double goose!! Haha

[krbrooking]

While we are on the whole bike thing picture bout 5 mate riding through the school acting l hot sh&$ I was 3rd in line the two in front of me jump off their bike to walk them down these especially steep set of stairs, smart arse me takes one look at them says something to the affect of big girls just ride down and off I went we'll made it to bout the third or fourth step and yea you guessed it the back wheel left the ground and went straight over. Don't think I have ever felt more like a goose.

[wildgu6]

Ok Goose or Gander lol. When living in Geelong was driving down Malop st heading towards Geelong west, Driving a little 63 mini, 1275 engine with cam, su's, and wood grain dash, sports wheel and tacho, use to love it, they go anywhere, arh the memories lol. anyway driving down Malop st (city) heading west, slight shower but a nice day (it is Geelong), bald tyres on front of course its a mini, get to the round about cnr Malop and Gheringhap st at a slight pace haha, go to negotiate the round about and budda bing, the little beast decided she didnt want to go round. Bang ! mounted the gutter onto the foot path and up and over into Johnstone park (a decent size park area, slightly sunken from road view where they hold carols by candle light opposite the cop shop) anyway no retreat no surrender, once i had entered i wasnt going back, so i took a lesuirely cruise across the park and up and out the other side to Gorden avenue, where i was heading in the first place. The look on peoples faces was priceless and the traffic as i exited the park they were dumb founded, Yep i felt like a real goose that day, but me and my mate were also in tears at the looks on peoples faces. Argh the good old days lol Go the mini

[wildgu6]

LMFAO.... yer mate i think if he had of he would of done us for more than traffic offenses lol........ ! The sun's was shining, a light breeze was caressing the trees, the birds were singing in a wondrous melody, kids were playing in the street (not there though), the rivers were flowing with milk and honey and lollipops were growing in the garden. hahahahahahaha
Yer mate it was PRICELESS. Use to get up to heaps of fun in the mini.
The boat ramp down near Eastern park, as your entering the car park going toward the boat ramp, There use to be a toilet block on the right against a steep dirt incline 15 -20 ft or so at about 75* incline......hahahahaha yer the mini gets to the top hahahahaha, gunna have to get down there (Geelong) one day, some many memories and good times had there.

[threedogs]

Mum and Dad always chased the winter sun north every time it started getting chilly in Melb, Anyway late one night wanting to park and set up for tea [dinner] they followed a parking sign.
un hitched the van, emptied it all out the front ans went into "town" to get supplies. Woke up in the morning to find themselves in the middle of some supermarket carpark with shite spread every where. RLMAO

[DX grunt]

My son in law was doing some gardening one day and decided he didn't want the creeper any more so hooked it up to the tojo and took off.
Bought the pergola down with it!

[wildgu6]

LMAO........ Gotta watch them creepers Rossco, both on and off the road. They can bring you undone.
and WTF are you doing letting the boy (in law) drive a Tojo ????
Guess that explains your love for them as you do go around kissing them hahahahahahaha

[ova50]

the little beast decided she didnt want to go round. Bang ! mounted the gutter onto the foot path and up and over into Johnstone park (a decent size park area, slightly sunken from road view where they hold carols by candle light opposite the cop shop) anyway no retreat no surrender,i

Define Over steer: Its when you go through the fence backwards.
Define Under steer: Its when you go through the fence frontwards. (mini,mini)

[wildgu6]

Define Over steer: Its when you go through the fence backwards.
Define Under steer: Its when you go through the fence frontwards. (mini,mini)

LOL.... Define crossed up: its when your wheels are facing one direction and your car is heading in another direction....
Had the old under and over a couple of times in my short life lol.

[megatexture]

When I first started rendering I was chatting to a client about how much of a pain in the a$$ his house was to work on and that I wish architects would consider the workers doing all the work, thats about when he informed me his wife is an architect and did the drawings lol

[wildgu6]

Yer can relate to that mega T, lol ya goose,
Was painting a rendered wall across the back of a pool one day, had my phone in pocket belting out tunes, as I was packing up up one of the old faves came on, a Ludicrous tune from the fast and furious ( move b!7@h Get out the way) lol, anyway the lady of the house came out to hold the pool gate open for me and just as I walked past her with my hands full, bang the chorus came on Move B!7(h get out the way, clear as day too lol
Mmmmm yes the goose strikes again,



TAPPN OUT

[megatexture]

Lol at least that could pass as bad timing lol or were you singing along haha

[growler2058]

This thread was made just for you plassy hahahahahahahahaha

[growler2058]

I'm sure I haven't done any more silly things than the average bear. I note a few notable absentees from this thread. Wassa madda scared to laugh at yourself?? Hahaha

Yeah wheres Kris (nisshead) hahahahahahahahha

[mrflibbles]

when i was younger (about 13/14) was out riding my new standish 10 speed bike with a mate, we decided to race each other home. So i put my head down and started peddling in fury, i look up a few seconds later and hit the back of a parked car, went through the back window of a camira wagon! climbed out surveyed the damage to myself a few cuts and scrapes and general ouchiness, the car had a dent in the bumper and no window and my bike was bent. I picked up the remains of the bike while my mate was laughing at me and then we legged it home...

[threedogs]

Here's one bloody aussie may relate to. Prior to being married I rode in a motorcycle group ,one arvo after work pulled up at the milk bar to grab a pkt of fags. noticed a few great looking chicks checking out my bike. Backed the bike out only idleling then popped the biggest mono known to man, thinking it was going to flip I hit the back brake to come back to earth, smashing my agates into the tank at the same time. to make things worse the train came and shut the gates. who rolled up beside me but these 3 great looking chicks. poor me eyes watering, well tears of agony really, laugh about it now but boy did the little fellows get a beating that day.

[choppie]

Was about 14, riding treadly home and as always looked behind to check traffic, nothing coming so swung into gateway flat tit as always, miss jugded it,
hit the gate post dead centre, straight over post, being smart did a couple of forward rolls as I hit the ground and stood up coming out of the second one straight into
the back of the old mans car, neighbour mowing the lawn nearly p.....d himself and me with bloody nose, not funny Ralf.

[trekster]

Here is a double goose :(

Last night and previous night I was working on the trol, installing indicator lights into bullbar. Saturday night I pulled out right indicator to tap into the wires to feed the indicators, stupid me forgot that there are 2 sides and need feed from either side for either indicator.... Goose #1

Then last night I was almost finished, had done the wiring tested all working good, just had to earth the lights, Put my hand down on the hot soldering iron. Nice blisters on my right palm.... MY GOD DID IT HURT!!!!! Nothing like smokin flesh :( Goose #2

[MEGOMONSTER]

Here is a double goose :(

Last night and previous night I was working on the trol, installing indicator lights into bullbar. Saturday night I pulled out right indicator to tap into the wires to feed the indicators, stupid me forgot that there are 2 sides and need feed from either side for either indicator.... Goose #1

Then last night I was almost finished, had done the wiring tested all working good, just had to earth the lights, Put my hand down on the hot soldering iron. Nice blisters on my right palm.... MY GOD DID IT HURT!!!!! Nothing like smokin flesh :( Goose #2

I did goose #1 when doing my tail light conversion.