How not to change oil

[P4trol]

I've f@rkd the lawn again

I did this when at a caravan park. I asked if they had an area where you could do minor car work, and no, they didn't. So I asked if I could do it on-site. They said as long as I didn't make a mess.

So first I drained the catch can into a chop packet. After dark, because the kids had to be showered etc. The oil missed the chop packet and went behind it, all over the grass.

Then through a comedy of errors the filter spilt a heap. Because I didn't have an oil pan, the funnel didn't work great on the sump drain. So 10pm I'm off to find a car wash to avoid spilt oil from under the car dripping in more spots. 11pm I'm back washing the grass with dishwashing detergent, water, and clean rags. I think it worked - at least they never realised in time to bill it back. Any dead grass would probably be due to a couple of naughty words uttered when I found the drips.

[CPOCSM]

Don't worry...

When I first bought the patrol last year, completely forgot the capacity was larger than what I had been used to...5 litres for the EB XR8 vice 8.3 litres for the patrol...

Dumped the oil and filter the day I bought it and threw the six litre catch can under the car...loosened off the sump plug and let it drain. Wifey was in the office next to the driveway and went spastic and was yelling at me asking what was all the black sh$t running past her window...the three extra litres of waste oil had overflowed and merrily ran down the driveway. To add insult to injury, I only had 5 litres of replacement oil(remember creature of habit!!) AND...

The patrol was parked behind the second car! Had to get on the pushy, swearing and cursing, and ride to supercrap for another 5 litres of oil! Sorted the patrol out, got the hard scrubber and degreaser and proceeded to scrub 20 feet of driveway to remove the oil.

Lesson well learned!

[P4trol]

Lol. I've scrubbed my driveway before... Pressure cleaner, chemicals, scrubbing brush... The works. Finally fixed the oil leak that was making the mess.

And found out the hard way that a 3l patrol drains a lot quicker than a 2.8 - the poor oil pan funnel couldn't keep up!

[squid]

I changed the oil a few years ago in my garage, without spilling a drop... I forgot the drip pan and managed to run it over driving out of the garage, in the process I sprayed the car, the walls, the floor and ceiling in oil... Degreaser and Gernie eventually cleaned it all up, I remember it wasn't fun to clean up...