The Joke Thread

[Wine_maker]

Maybe this one old for you, but I never hear it before.

A Texan farmer goes to Australia for a vacation. There he meets an Aussie farmer and gets talking. The Aussie shows off his big wheat field and the Texan says, "Oh! We have wheat fields that are at least twice as large."
Then they walk around the ranch a little and the Aussie shows off his herd of cattle. The Texan immediately says, "We have longhorns that are at least twice as large as your cows."
The conversation has, meanwhile, almost died when the Texan sees a herd of kangaroos hopping through the field. He asks, "And what are those?"
The Aussie asks with an incredulous look, "Don't you have any grasshoppers in Texas?"


Dear Dad,
$chool i$ really great. I am making lot$ of friend$ and $tudying very hard. With all my $tuff, I $imply can't think of anything I need, $o if you would like, you can ju$t $end me a card, a$ I would love to hear from you.
Love,
Your $on
$hlomo

The Reply:
Dear Shlomo,
I kNOw that astroNOmy, ecoNOmics, and oceaNOgraphy are eNOugh to keep even an hoNOr student busy. Do NOt forget that the pursuit of kNOwledge is a NOble task, and you can never study eNOugh.

Love your father,
NOach

[growler2058]

BwahahHAHAHAHAHAHA

[taslucas]

hahaha nice one growlers. I especially like the "got you on the loser fly-by" lol gotta love the loser flyby when they smash past you at 30 ks over the speed limit hahaha

[Wine_maker]

Indian movies is ...... so indian

[snicko]

A doctor and his wife are having a fight at the breakfast table. Husband gets up in a rage and says, "And you are no good in bed either," and storms out of the house. After sometime he realizes he was nasty and decides to make amends and calls home. She comes to the phone after many rings and the irritated husband says, "What took you so long to answer the phone?" She says, "I was in bed." "In bed this early, doing what?" Shouts the doctor. "Getting a second opinion!"

[Wine_maker]

Guy's I found something interesting!
http://en.akinator.com/ it can guess 95% of famous characters, cartoons, politics, actors, also fictitious too.

[Ben89]

They say when a dog starts shi##ing in the house, it's on its way out and should be put down.

Two days I had that puppy.

[rottodiver]

Hhahaaha that was classic Ben

[BigRAWesty]

Alcohol is not the answer, it just makes you forget the question...

Kallen Westbrook
Owner of
Westy's Accessories

[Alitis007]

A doctor examining a woman who had been rushed to the Emergency Room, took the husband aside, and said, "I don't like the looks of your wife at all.”
"Me neither doc," said the husband. "But she's a great cook and really good with the kids."