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The city miser was on his death bed, as his last request he asked to be alone with his lawyer, doctor, and priest.
“I know I am going to die” he said ” and I would like to take my money with me, ...

This guy enters a bar located at the top of the Empire State Building in New York. It looked like a nice place and he then takes a seat at the bar next to another guy. "This is a nice place, I've...

Bill and Marla decided that the only way to pull off a Sunday afternoon quickie with their ten-year-old son in the apartment was to send him out on the balcony and tell him to report on all the...

@AB

Just to enforce the Message

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Bob , Roofy & AB all Die but they don't go to Heaven but to Hell.

Bob is lead into Room 650 and there lying on the Bed is oldest Hag that you can imagine.
The Door is welded shut and a voice...

When Neil Armstrong was reentering the Lunar Module he said "Best of Luck Mr Gorski"
Everybody was intrigued by that comment and thought he was referring to a fellow Russian Space traveller.
There...

A small town prosecuting attorney called his first witness

to the stand in a trial, a grandmotherly, elderly woman. He

approached her and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?"

She responded,...

Three buddies die in a car crash, and they find themselves at the pearly gates.

They are all asked: 'When you are in your casket and friends and family are mourning, what would you like to hear...

Ralph is driving home one evening, when he suddenly realizes that it's his daughter's birthday and he hasn't bought her a present.
He drives to the mall, runs to the toy store, and says to the shop...

A fifteen year old Amish boy and his father were in a mall.
They were amazed by almost everything they saw,
but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and then slide back...

Moses, Jesus, and an old, bearded man were out playing golf one day.

Moses pulled up to the tee and drove a long one. It landed in the fairway but rolled directly toward a water trap. Quickly...

HEAVENLY MARITAL HELP


Betty and Tim die in a car accident on the eve of their wedding. In Heaven, they ask St. Peter if they can still be married.

"Well, let me find out if this is possible....

Teacher: "Kids,what does the chicken give you?"
Student: "Meat!"
Teacher: "Very good! Now what does the pig give you?"
Student: "Bacon!"
Teacher: "Great! And what does the fat cow give you?"...

An 80-year old Italian man goes to the doctor for a check-up. The doctor is amazed at what good shape the guy is in and asks, “How do you stay in such great physical condition?” "I’m Italian and I am...

Nowadays you need a fixed telephone line only to find your smartphone.

A 90-year old man said to his doctor, "I've never felt better... I have an 18-year old bride who is pregnant with my child. What do you think of that?"
The doctor replied, "I have an elderly friend...

The Lone Ranger and Tonto were at the bar drinking when in walks a cowboy who yells, "Who's white horse it that outside?"

The Lone Ranger finishes off his whiskey, slams down the glass, turns...

In the beginning God created day and night. He created day for footy matches, going to the beach and barbies. He created night for going prawning, sleeping and barbies. God saw that it was good.
...

After their boat sinks, two aussies are left floating around in their lifeboat in the middle of the ocean. All of a sudden one of them spots a funny looking bottle bobbing in the water and pulls it...

Three bulls heard that the rancher was going to bring yet another bull onto the ranch, and the prospect raised a discussion among them.

First Bull: "Boys, we all know I've been here 5 years. Once...

TWO tigers are walking through the jungle when the one at the back licks the behind of the one in front.
The lead tiger turns and says: "Hey, cut it out." The other tiger says sorry and they...

On a recent flight, a plane passes through a severe storm. The turbulence is awful, and things go from bad to worse when one wing is struck by lightning. One woman in particular loses it. Screaming,...

Woman to psychiatrist:” I can’t sleep, because my husband thinks he’s a fridge.
Psychiatrist: “Does his condition worry you?”
Woman: “No, it’s just that he sleeps with his mouth open, and the...

California Vinters in the Napa Valley area. which primarily produces Pinot Blanc, Pinot Noir and Pinot Griglo wines have developed a new hybrid grape that acts as an anti-diuretic.
It is expected to...

Two Irishmen were working for the city public works department. One would dig a hole and the other would follow behind him and fill the hole in. They worked up one side of the street, then down the...