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G'day lounge lizards!

An Ex-Lawyer, a Pathological Liar, a Fraudster, an Atheist and a Communist walk into a BAR.





Bartender asks....

German Tourist


A German Tourist jumped in the freezing waters Port Phillip bay in Melbourne to save a old ladies little dog!

Upon getting back onto the jetty, he checked the little dog over...

Five surgeons are discussing who were the best patients to operate on.

The first surgeon says, 'I like to see Accountants on my operating table because when you open them up, everything inside is...

God visited a man and told him that he must give up smoking, drinking and sex if he wants to get into heaven.....

The man said he would try his best.

God visited the man a week later to see...

Fifty Sheds Of Grey - extracts

We tried various positions – round the back, on the side, up against a wall...but in the end we came to the conclusion the bottom of the garden was the only place...

A successful rancher died and left everything to his devoted wife. She was a very good-looking woman and determined to keep the ranch, but knew very little about ranching, so she decided to place an...

A Scottish bag-piper was asked by a funeral director to play at a graveside service for a homeless man. The man had no family or friends, so the service was to be at a Pauper's' cemetery in the back...

A Priest was being honored at his retirement dinner after 25 years in the parish. A leading local politician and member of the congregation was chosen to make the presentation and to give a little...