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Type: Posts; User: Punderhead

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  1. Replies
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    Two Irishman are at the pub having a drink...

    Two Irishman are at the pub having a drink together.

    One says to the other
    "I can't help but think from Ye accent that yer from Ireland."

    "Aye! From Dublin I am!"

    Dublin yer say!! Why bless...
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    Two drums and a cymbal rolled down a hill. Ba...

    Two drums and a cymbal rolled down a hill.
    Ba dum tssss





    Two elephants walked of a cliff
    Boom boom
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    A businessman dragged himself home and barely...

    A businessman dragged himself home and barely made it to his chair before he dropped exhausted.
    His sympathetic wife was right there with a tall cool drink and a comforting word. "My, you look...
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    PROOF THAT MEN ARE BETTER FRIENDS THAN WOMEN! ...

    PROOF THAT MEN ARE BETTER FRIENDS THAN WOMEN!

    One night a man's wife does not come home from a night out with the girls.
    The next morning, the man asks his wife where she stayed,
    and she informs...
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    When Albert Einstein was making the rounds of the...

    When Albert Einstein was making the rounds of the speaker's circuit, he usually found himself eagerly longing to get back to his laboratory work. One night as they were driving to yet another dinner,...
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    'Well you see mate, it's like this. .. . A herd...

    'Well you see mate, it's like this. .. . A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed...
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    Welcome to plastic surgery anonomous. I see a lot...

    Welcome to plastic surgery anonomous. I see a lot of new faces in the crowd this week and I have to say that I'm disappointed.
  8. Replies
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    An Irish backpacker walks into a pub in...

    An Irish backpacker walks into a pub in Queensland, and clears his voice to the crowd of drinkers. He says, "I hear you Aussies are a bunch of hard drinkers. I'll give $500 to anybody in here who can...
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    A doulbe-homicide defendant is in court in...

    A doulbe-homicide defendant is in court in Dublin. The Judge says to him, "You're charged with beating your wife to death with a hammer. " A voice at the back of the courtroom yells out, "You...
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    An angry wife was complaining about her husband,...

    An angry wife was complaining about her husband, Paddy, spending all his free time in a bar, so one night he took her along with him. "What'll you have?" he asked. "Oh, I don't know. The same as you...
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    Pat and Mick landed themselves a job at a...

    Pat and Mick landed themselves a job at a sawmill. Just before morning tea Pat yelled: 'Mick! I lost me finger!'
    'Have you now?' says Mick. 'And how did you do it?'
    'I just touched this big...
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    3 men are sentenced to death, but because up...

    3 men are sentenced to death, but because up until their crime they have been good citizens, the judge says they can choose how they will die.

    The first requests lethal injection.

    The second a...
  13. Replies
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    Is the frog dead?

    Is the frog dead?
  14. Replies
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    Is it wrong to hate a certain race??

    Is it wrong to hate a certain race??
  15. Replies
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    You might have to hand him a tissue for that one

    You might have to hand him a tissue for that one
  16. Replies
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    Pull yourself together mate.

    Pull yourself together mate.
  17. Replies
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    An Aussie, an American, a Chinese, a Japanese, a...

    An Aussie, an American, a Chinese, a Japanese, a Vietnamese, an Englishman, a kiwi, an African, an Egyptian, a Frenchman, a German, and an Irishman are walking into a fancy restaurant. The waiter...
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    An spy agency had three recruits to put through...

    An spy agency had three recruits to put through the final stage of initiation. To guys and one girl.

    They took the first guy, gave him a loaded gun, and said "we need to know that you can follow...
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    The boss of vb and the boss of xxxx go to the...

    The boss of vb and the boss of xxxx go to the pub.

    The vb boss orders a vb
    The xxxx boss orders a lemonade.

    The vb boss says "why didn't you order a xxxx?"

    And the xxxx boss replies "if you...
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    Ummmmm......

    Ummmmm......
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    No, it's quite acceptable to pee in vb, as you...

    No, it's quite acceptable to pee in vb, as you won't change the taste

    Cheers
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    Breaking BAD jokes Walt takes a pizza to...

    Breaking BAD jokes

    Walt takes a pizza to dinner at Hank and Marie's. Hank says, "how much for the pizza?" And Walt replies "it's on the house!"

    I didn't watch the final season, because i am a...
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    An Emergency Call Centre worker in London has...

    An Emergency Call Centre worker in London has been dismissed from her job, much to the dismay of colleagues who are reportedly unhappy with her treatment.

    It seems a male caller dialled 999 from a...
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    If you start with a cage containing five monkeys...

    If you start with a cage containing five monkeys and inside the cage,
    Hang a banana on a string from the top and then you place a set of
    Stairs under the banana, before long a monkey will go to the...
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    The local bar was so sure that its bartender was...

    The local bar was so sure that its bartender was the strongest man around that they had a standing $1000 bet.
    The bartender would squeeze a lemon until all the juice ran into a glass, and hand the...
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