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DO NOT READ THE NEXT SENTENCE.
You little rebel, I like you.

A man pulled up next to a little girl walking home from school and said "If you get in, I'll give you a lollypop." The girl kept walking. Following along slowly, the man said "Come on and get in the...

Teacher was asking her pupils what their daddies did for a living one day. Little Suzy was first up, and said, "well, my daddy teaches quantum physics at Auckland University." Impressed, teacher says...

What scares me is that was probably a true story:)

Sorry I yelled "killin' it" when your mum was eating that banana.

Chuck Norris isn't even that great. If he was so great, he would come up behind me right now and slam my head on the keybswuhowdbfoecn ejefj cjehcefj.

A boss said to his secretary I want to have SEX with you I will make it very fast. I'll throw $1000 on the floor, by the time you bend down to pick it I'll be done. She thought for a moment then...

Boy: *calls 911* Hello? I need your help!
911: Alright, What is it?
Boy: Two girls are fighting over me!
911: So what's your emergency?
Boy: The ugly one is winning.

A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a...

Talking to a mate, down the club. He mentioned he had a mate, in the Army, but could not understand the Army lingo. Simple, I sez,


" All the people in the Army are soldiers, all privates are...

A crusty old Army Sergeant Major found himself at a gala event hosted by a local liberal arts college.

There was no shortage of extremely young idealistic ladies in attendance, one of whom...

That looks very much like someone from here :-)......

My neighbour knocked on my door at 2:30am this morning; can you believe that….2:30am?! Luckily for him I was still up playing my drums.

The Grim Reaper came for me last night, and I beat him off...