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@DXgrunt Must be an easier way to get a nipple ring piercing.

I thought it looked more like a moustache, or it has eaten cousin itt.

Talking of doctors, I went to see one the other day and told him I was feeling a bit off colour. He got me to poke my tongue out and say arghh, took my temp, blood pressure and checked my reflexes....

Another form of a traction device when in the bog.

Bad enough peeling the skin off one.

It wouldn`t want to let one rip.

Give me twenty bucks and find out.

You bet, wanna find out?

Talking of shits sake, I can`t dance for shit, but I will for money.

Little Susie goes out to the shed where her father is. `Dad` she says, `what`s sex`?
He thought she`s a bit young to be asking this, but thought he be honest and tell her.
He told her all about the...

What we all need after some bum fudge.

Sure have, so you know where I bin.

A white horse walks in to a pub and orders a drink. The bar maid says ` We have a drink named after you`. It says ` What, Eric?`.

Reminds me of the joke of a flasher who exposed him self to three old ladies on a park bench. Two had a stroke and the other one couldn`t reached.

A bloke walked in to the doctors with bacon and eggs on his head. He says doc, it`s about my brother.

Red heads got called carrot top(s) many years ago. Don`t know why, as the leaves are green.

I went to the doctor the other day and he asked what brought me here to day, I said my legs. But seriously I told him I thought I had a cricket ball up my bum, he says `howzat`. Don`t you start I...

Cracked me up this one did.

Didn`t he play foot ball?

What`s better than a rose on your piano?

Tulips on your organ.

Yes, sure is.

I was bought a bush for the garden as a birthday present one year, so I exchanged it for a country, as they`re the best tree to have.

Might need 3 or more of those give it 10 minutes signs after I`ve been and I`m tired of repainting the loo room.

As long as I didn`t get a black eye out of it. I`m not going to explain that answer.

I called a new weight lost company and ordered their 5-day, 10 lb. weight loss program.

The next day, there's a knock on the door and there stands before me a
voluptuous, athletic, 19 year old...