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husband wondering what to get his wife of 40 years for xmas as has run out of ideas, so says to wife:
husband: "Darling, what would you like for a xmas present?"
After a few minutes, wife replies: "A divorce"
Husband replies: "Oh, I wasn't planning on spending that much"
Even my darling wife of 42 years liked this joke and sent it to all her friends and said to me "don't you forget it!" :)
I replied "No worries love. When we were younger, you couldn't afford to divorce me as you would have got half the debt!
Now things are different, so I understand"
cheers and wishing everyone a healthy , happy and prosperous 2019, although at my age, I will just settle for the healthy! lol.
john
Nice isn't it?
Attachment 77374
I was walking down the street when I was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless man who asked me for a couple of dollars for dinner.
I took out my wallet, extracted ten dollars and asked,"If I give you this money, will you buy some beer with it instead of dinner?"
"No, I had to stop drinking years ago," the homeless man replied.
"Will you use it to go fishing instead of buying food?" I asked.
"No, I don't waste time fishing," the homeless man said.."I need to spend all my time trying to stay alive."
"Will you spend this on hunting equipment?" I asked.
"Are you NUTS!" replied the homeless man. "I haven't gone hunting in 20 years!"
"Well," I said, "I'm not going to give you money. Instead, I'm going to take you home for a shower and a terrific dinner cooked by my wife."
The homeless man was astounded. "Won't your wife be furious with you for doing that?
I replied, "Don't worry about that. It's important for her to see what a man looks like after he has given up drinking, fishing and hunting."
One noise against another
Attachment 77454
Two rusted frames is better than one
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Alphabet
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Rust bucket now that's funny .